Nunez
Premium Platinum
8:53 PM. Sunday Night. The Pineapple Hotel. Alone sits Nunez, humbly eating his way through three bowls of the Pineapples’ famous Khlav Kalesh. He had spent many a Sunday at the faithful football bar at The Gabba, his once-triple-premiership-winning-now-super-s**t Lions had lost another game. Thankfully instead of turning to alcohol, he merely eats his feelings.
The bartender, a fellow Lions supporter and emotional wreck RU_ had eagerly been looking to Nunez for conversation…Nunez felt blessed his mouth was almost always full but alas, one can only eat so much before the bowl is empty…
“Did you see the game…?”
RU_ Asked as if he didn’t already know.
“give me 17 good reasons we’re not doomed…doomed…DOOMED!?!?!”
Nunez sighed.
“Another loss…another drink…boy I’m drunk”
RU_ scuttled away, beer in hand. Safe to say his boss Brion The Lion was not happy.
Nunez on the other hand, was glad to finally have some peace and quiet. He wondered if there’d be any chance of getting one last bowl of Khlav Kalesh before he long trip home to Zillmere and wash it down with a glass of ice cold crab juice.
Alas, this was not to be, for fast approaching was the dastardly jackess …lord knows he was a bit of a jack…oh you get the picture.
“Nunez! I’ve finally cracked it! I discovered the members of the clique!!!”
Nunez reaches under the table to grab his top secret clique hand gun that shoots Lions memberships.
“And you’d never guess who the leader is!! It’s-“
Before he could utter his last words… the stench of plastic filled the air. Jackness - who just so happens to be allergic to plastic - ran.
“woooaaahh there nelly… Get some liquor in ya belly and we’ll watch footy on the telly”
Worse than the clique, Satan and…well…anything… it was a Suns supporter.
“Did yer lead my preview on Big Footy? Gazza is gonna carve you up!”
“Ugh.. doesn’t he play for Geelong?”
“Mate…I’m talking about Gazza Barlow….”
Nunez felt an impending face palm….no amount of Khlav Kalesh and crab juice could make a Suns supporter bearable, and given the upcoming game, the clique could not risk a civil war.
“Wanna buy my Pearce Hanley trading card?”
“* it”
Nunez was fed up, he did the only thing any sane Lions supporter would do…summoned Haso
“Somebody had to take the Suns supporter home, then I noticed he was sitting on her sweet can…so I grabbed her sweet can…oh just thinking about her sweet can…I just wish I had her sweet, sweet s-s-sweet can.”
The Suns supporter - an avid watcher of Family guy and likely hipster millennial - was shocked and scared. He had Never has someone speak meme to him, let alone from a show that scared him when he was a child… to be fair though who wasn’t scared of Mr. Burns as an alien bringing love?
“Haso…you admit you want my Hanley trading card? What do you have to say for yourself?!”
The Suns supporter ran as fast as anyone made of plastic could…slow…
Haso, like any good meme will do, slowly drifted back into the obscurities of the dark web (Also known as Bigfooty). Nunez, now finally alone, decided it was time to hit the road. Lord knows The Pineapple brings in the weirdos, and the last thing he wanted to do was run in to TheBrownDog , who had recently morphed into a giant Brown dog.
Or even worse, run into Mooch who, as his name would suggest, always asks for money to fund his new podcast. Alas, next week our mighty Lions face the Suns and despite the Godawful loss against The Tigers, Nunez has faith in Fagan, Beams and the young and skilful talent the Lions were developing and has absolute faith they will win and win good. Losses like that can make or break a team, and Nunez was sure the boys would take the challenge and come at breathing Fire.
Lions by 40.
The bartender, a fellow Lions supporter and emotional wreck RU_ had eagerly been looking to Nunez for conversation…Nunez felt blessed his mouth was almost always full but alas, one can only eat so much before the bowl is empty…
“Did you see the game…?”
RU_ Asked as if he didn’t already know.
“give me 17 good reasons we’re not doomed…doomed…DOOMED!?!?!”
Nunez sighed.
“Another loss…another drink…boy I’m drunk”
RU_ scuttled away, beer in hand. Safe to say his boss Brion The Lion was not happy.
Nunez on the other hand, was glad to finally have some peace and quiet. He wondered if there’d be any chance of getting one last bowl of Khlav Kalesh before he long trip home to Zillmere and wash it down with a glass of ice cold crab juice.
Alas, this was not to be, for fast approaching was the dastardly jackess …lord knows he was a bit of a jack…oh you get the picture.
“Nunez! I’ve finally cracked it! I discovered the members of the clique!!!”
Nunez reaches under the table to grab his top secret clique hand gun that shoots Lions memberships.
“And you’d never guess who the leader is!! It’s-“
Before he could utter his last words… the stench of plastic filled the air. Jackness - who just so happens to be allergic to plastic - ran.
“woooaaahh there nelly… Get some liquor in ya belly and we’ll watch footy on the telly”
Worse than the clique, Satan and…well…anything… it was a Suns supporter.
“Did yer lead my preview on Big Footy? Gazza is gonna carve you up!”
“Ugh.. doesn’t he play for Geelong?”
“Mate…I’m talking about Gazza Barlow….”
Nunez felt an impending face palm….no amount of Khlav Kalesh and crab juice could make a Suns supporter bearable, and given the upcoming game, the clique could not risk a civil war.
“Wanna buy my Pearce Hanley trading card?”
“* it”
Nunez was fed up, he did the only thing any sane Lions supporter would do…summoned Haso
“Somebody had to take the Suns supporter home, then I noticed he was sitting on her sweet can…so I grabbed her sweet can…oh just thinking about her sweet can…I just wish I had her sweet, sweet s-s-sweet can.”
The Suns supporter - an avid watcher of Family guy and likely hipster millennial - was shocked and scared. He had Never has someone speak meme to him, let alone from a show that scared him when he was a child… to be fair though who wasn’t scared of Mr. Burns as an alien bringing love?
“Haso…you admit you want my Hanley trading card? What do you have to say for yourself?!”
The Suns supporter ran as fast as anyone made of plastic could…slow…
Haso, like any good meme will do, slowly drifted back into the obscurities of the dark web (Also known as Bigfooty). Nunez, now finally alone, decided it was time to hit the road. Lord knows The Pineapple brings in the weirdos, and the last thing he wanted to do was run in to TheBrownDog , who had recently morphed into a giant Brown dog.
Or even worse, run into Mooch who, as his name would suggest, always asks for money to fund his new podcast. Alas, next week our mighty Lions face the Suns and despite the Godawful loss against The Tigers, Nunez has faith in Fagan, Beams and the young and skilful talent the Lions were developing and has absolute faith they will win and win good. Losses like that can make or break a team, and Nunez was sure the boys would take the challenge and come at breathing Fire.
Lions by 40.