Analysis Abby Don't Wanna Be Jessie's Girl

(Log in to remove this ad.)

BRWB

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Oct 7, 2012
Posts
14,884
Likes
21,755
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
#54
This thread could become iconic in the sense it encapsulates all things wrong with media, social media and reality blogs...

Look forward to someone synopsing Ab's next instalment.
 

Fossie 32

Premium Platinum
Joined
Oct 6, 2002
Posts
19,867
Likes
10,023
Location
1300GODOGS
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Melbourne..VICTORY, Leeds
Thread starter #56
Abby Gilmore: Cheaters need to think of kids waiting at home
Abby Gilmore, Herald Sun
March 9, 2018 5:45pm
WHEN it comes to infidelity, I have a question.

It probably sounds naive. But being a single parent and main carer of two little girls, seeing the effect it has on them every day and during the long nights when I’m comforting them and wiping away tears, would people still cheat if they knew the long-term effects it would have on their kids?

Milla was almost two when her world was thrown upside down. People would often say, “You’re lucky she’s still little, it would be much harder for her if she was older”.

MORE ABBY:

How dark times can lead you to find best in yourself

Are ex-boyfriends off limits to your friends?

Abby answers your question in new podcast

I found myself disagreeing with this as she started shutting down and pushing people away and I sought a child psychologist who would hopefully connect with her.

You see, Milla was already quite clever for her age. She thrived off feeling loved and supported, which was exactly what our house offered before everything changed. I was proud of what we had created and I still wonder what makes someone want to ruin that.


Abby has shared her story as a show of support to others suffering through relationship breakdowns. Picture: Alex Coppel.
At the beginning, I hadn’t even considered what it was doing to her because I couldn’t believe what was happening myself. I wallowed in my sadness for quite some time, relying on family to help with the kids — before the realisation that she needed me more than ever. She needed to know she had stability and that I wasn’t going anywhere.

She soon became my sole focus along with co-parenting, because seeing her mum and dad getting along was all she cared about. And if that’s all she cared about, then guess what, that’s all I cared about.

Being so little she didn’t understand why she went from seeing Dad every day, to every couple of days. She never understood why I was forever wiping my tears away, waking up with puffy eyes or refusing to get out of bed. Or why I would yell over the tiniest of mistakes then feel crippling guilt because, although I was going through hell, it was no fault of my own or hers.

I’ve tried to go about this experience differently to most in terms of shining a positive light on people struggling through relationship breakdowns and sharing my story as a show of support. Like an “I’m right here with you” kind of thing.


Abby asks if people would cheat if they knew the long-term effects on their kids? Picture: Jason Edwards
Sadly, I’ve come to realise that just like bullying, cheating will never stop. But what if we switched our focus to the kids? What if I told you that your kids will never be the same again if you destroy their love and security?

Some couples bring kids into this world and with them comes an enormous pressure. Some people realise it’s just not for them, so they separate. As it turns out, it isthe right thing for the kids, as seeing their parents getting along apart is much better than seeing them fight together.

But for people who pretend they’re happy in a relationship and then go out and cheat, you can change your outcome by thinking about your kids sitting at home waiting for you to come home.

If you could only see them during the early hours of the morning, crying about not wanting to go to childcare because the thought of Mum leaving and never coming back gives them nightmares.

If you could see them scream “go away” at the lady at the supermarket, because they hate the world and don’t understand why this is happening.

If you could see them when they ask “where’s Daddy” right before dinner time when everything is hectic and the day has been too much, maybe then you might rethink your actions. Maybe then you might give the love you want to give so loosely back to your kids.

GOT A QUESTION FOR ABBY? EMAILdearabby@news.com.auOR POST A COMMENT BELOW

DEAR ABBY
My mother-in-law was babysitting our son while we were at work and took the liberty of cutting his hair short. She was “helping us out”, but I’m furious. What do you think?

- HACKED OFF

A: Don’t do it. It’s not your child. You had your time, you got to style your kids’ hair. You don’t get to decide on this one. It’s up to the mum.

Grandparents have a role to play, but their job is to love — you know, I’m OK with some lollies before dinner, the sneaky little chocolates — but when it comes to haircuts, ear piercings, anything like that, you need to take a back seat. You need to ask the parents.

My close friend has recently started dating my ex-boyfriend. I feel like I have lost a boyfriend and a friend. Should I be upset even though they are so happy?

- Heartbroken x2

A: That’s deep. That sucks and it hurts. But you need to look at the bigger picture. It’s the universe giving you one big sign that those two are not for you anymore. They served a purpose in your life but now you don’t need them in your life.

You don’t date your best friend’s boyfriend. It’s as simple as that.


FIND MORE DEAR ABBY EPISODES HERE AND ON ITUNES HERE

Want more? Follow Abby on Instagram and check out her blog, According to Abby


http://www.heraldsun.com.au/sport/afl/teams/carlton/carltons-grey-clash-jumper-under-fire-on-social-media/news-story/a09fa56a21fee7a87366d13b9c344ffc

https://www.ratecity.com.au/whitelabels/moneysaver/home-loans
 

Maddog1980

All Australian
Joined
Oct 15, 2003
Posts
714
Likes
416
Location
In a house in Perth
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray Football Club
#57
Abby Gilmore: Cheaters need to think of kids waiting at home
Abby Gilmore, Herald Sun
March 9, 2018 5:45pm
WHEN it comes to infidelity, I have a question.

It probably sounds naive. But being a single parent and main carer of two little girls, seeing the effect it has on them every day and during the long nights when I’m comforting them and wiping away tears, would people still cheat if they knew the long-term effects it would have on their kids?

Milla was almost two when her world was thrown upside down. People would often say, “You’re lucky she’s still little, it would be much harder for her if she was older”.

MORE ABBY:

How dark times can lead you to find best in yourself

Are ex-boyfriends off limits to your friends?

Abby answers your question in new podcast

I found myself disagreeing with this as she started shutting down and pushing people away and I sought a child psychologist who would hopefully connect with her.

You see, Milla was already quite clever for her age. She thrived off feeling loved and supported, which was exactly what our house offered before everything changed. I was proud of what we had created and I still wonder what makes someone want to ruin that.


Abby has shared her story as a show of support to others suffering through relationship breakdowns. Picture: Alex Coppel.
At the beginning, I hadn’t even considered what it was doing to her because I couldn’t believe what was happening myself. I wallowed in my sadness for quite some time, relying on family to help with the kids — before the realisation that she needed me more than ever. She needed to know she had stability and that I wasn’t going anywhere.

She soon became my sole focus along with co-parenting, because seeing her mum and dad getting along was all she cared about. And if that’s all she cared about, then guess what, that’s all I cared about.

Being so little she didn’t understand why she went from seeing Dad every day, to every couple of days. She never understood why I was forever wiping my tears away, waking up with puffy eyes or refusing to get out of bed. Or why I would yell over the tiniest of mistakes then feel crippling guilt because, although I was going through hell, it was no fault of my own or hers.

I’ve tried to go about this experience differently to most in terms of shining a positive light on people struggling through relationship breakdowns and sharing my story as a show of support. Like an “I’m right here with you” kind of thing.


Abby asks if people would cheat if they knew the long-term effects on their kids? Picture: Jason Edwards
Sadly, I’ve come to realise that just like bullying, cheating will never stop. But what if we switched our focus to the kids? What if I told you that your kids will never be the same again if you destroy their love and security?

Some couples bring kids into this world and with them comes an enormous pressure. Some people realise it’s just not for them, so they separate. As it turns out, it isthe right thing for the kids, as seeing their parents getting along apart is much better than seeing them fight together.

But for people who pretend they’re happy in a relationship and then go out and cheat, you can change your outcome by thinking about your kids sitting at home waiting for you to come home.

If you could only see them during the early hours of the morning, crying about not wanting to go to childcare because the thought of Mum leaving and never coming back gives them nightmares.

If you could see them scream “go away” at the lady at the supermarket, because they hate the world and don’t understand why this is happening.

If you could see them when they ask “where’s Daddy” right before dinner time when everything is hectic and the day has been too much, maybe then you might rethink your actions. Maybe then you might give the love you want to give so loosely back to your kids.

GOT A QUESTION FOR ABBY? EMAILdearabby@news.com.auOR POST A COMMENT BELOW

DEAR ABBY
My mother-in-law was babysitting our son while we were at work and took the liberty of cutting his hair short. She was “helping us out”, but I’m furious. What do you think?

- HACKED OFF

A: Don’t do it. It’s not your child. You had your time, you got to style your kids’ hair. You don’t get to decide on this one. It’s up to the mum.

Grandparents have a role to play, but their job is to love — you know, I’m OK with some lollies before dinner, the sneaky little chocolates — but when it comes to haircuts, ear piercings, anything like that, you need to take a back seat. You need to ask the parents.

My close friend has recently started dating my ex-boyfriend. I feel like I have lost a boyfriend and a friend. Should I be upset even though they are so happy?

- Heartbroken x2

A: That’s deep. That sucks and it hurts. But you need to look at the bigger picture. It’s the universe giving you one big sign that those two are not for you anymore. They served a purpose in your life but now you don’t need them in your life.

You don’t date your best friend’s boyfriend. It’s as simple as that.


FIND MORE DEAR ABBY EPISODES HERE AND ON ITUNES HERE

Want more? Follow Abby on Instagram and check out her blog, According to Abby


Thanks Flossie...wow.
 

Anja_Nees

Premiership Player
Joined
Aug 14, 2001
Posts
4,400
Likes
4,899
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
#60
You’re doing well financially when you can send your 2 year old to a child psychologist.
Believe you can get a mental health plan from a GP which entitles you to a certain number of appointments on the government dime.

Take your point though - she probably didn’t and this probably held up Stringer’s lion tatt for a month.
 

(Log in to remove this ad.)

BrisDog

Club Legend
Joined
Dec 13, 2012
Posts
2,170
Likes
5,334
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
#64
Abby Gilmore: Cheaters need to think of kids waiting at home
Abby Gilmore, Herald Sun
March 9, 2018 5:45pm
WHEN it comes to infidelity, I have a question.

It probably sounds naive. But being a single parent and main carer of two little girls, seeing the effect it has on them every day and during the long nights when I’m comforting them and wiping away tears, would people still cheat if they knew the long-term effects it would have on their kids?

Milla was almost two when her world was thrown upside down. People would often say, “You’re lucky she’s still little, it would be much harder for her if she was older”.

MORE ABBY:

How dark times can lead you to find best in yourself

Are ex-boyfriends off limits to your friends?

Abby answers your question in new podcast

I found myself disagreeing with this as she started shutting down and pushing people away and I sought a child psychologist who would hopefully connect with her.

You see, Milla was already quite clever for her age. She thrived off feeling loved and supported, which was exactly what our house offered before everything changed. I was proud of what we had created and I still wonder what makes someone want to ruin that.


Abby has shared her story as a show of support to others suffering through relationship breakdowns. Picture: Alex Coppel.
At the beginning, I hadn’t even considered what it was doing to her because I couldn’t believe what was happening myself. I wallowed in my sadness for quite some time, relying on family to help with the kids — before the realisation that she needed me more than ever. She needed to know she had stability and that I wasn’t going anywhere.

She soon became my sole focus along with co-parenting, because seeing her mum and dad getting along was all she cared about. And if that’s all she cared about, then guess what, that’s all I cared about.

Being so little she didn’t understand why she went from seeing Dad every day, to every couple of days. She never understood why I was forever wiping my tears away, waking up with puffy eyes or refusing to get out of bed. Or why I would yell over the tiniest of mistakes then feel crippling guilt because, although I was going through hell, it was no fault of my own or hers.

I’ve tried to go about this experience differently to most in terms of shining a positive light on people struggling through relationship breakdowns and sharing my story as a show of support. Like an “I’m right here with you” kind of thing.


Abby asks if people would cheat if they knew the long-term effects on their kids? Picture: Jason Edwards
Sadly, I’ve come to realise that just like bullying, cheating will never stop. But what if we switched our focus to the kids? What if I told you that your kids will never be the same again if you destroy their love and security?

Some couples bring kids into this world and with them comes an enormous pressure. Some people realise it’s just not for them, so they separate. As it turns out, it isthe right thing for the kids, as seeing their parents getting along apart is much better than seeing them fight together.

But for people who pretend they’re happy in a relationship and then go out and cheat, you can change your outcome by thinking about your kids sitting at home waiting for you to come home.

If you could only see them during the early hours of the morning, crying about not wanting to go to childcare because the thought of Mum leaving and never coming back gives them nightmares.

If you could see them scream “go away” at the lady at the supermarket, because they hate the world and don’t understand why this is happening.

If you could see them when they ask “where’s Daddy” right before dinner time when everything is hectic and the day has been too much, maybe then you might rethink your actions. Maybe then you might give the love you want to give so loosely back to your kids.

GOT A QUESTION FOR ABBY? EMAILdearabby@news.com.auOR POST A COMMENT BELOW

DEAR ABBY
My mother-in-law was babysitting our son while we were at work and took the liberty of cutting his hair short. She was “helping us out”, but I’m furious. What do you think?

- HACKED OFF

A: Don’t do it. It’s not your child. You had your time, you got to style your kids’ hair. You don’t get to decide on this one. It’s up to the mum.

Grandparents have a role to play, but their job is to love — you know, I’m OK with some lollies before dinner, the sneaky little chocolates — but when it comes to haircuts, ear piercings, anything like that, you need to take a back seat. You need to ask the parents.

My close friend has recently started dating my ex-boyfriend. I feel like I have lost a boyfriend and a friend. Should I be upset even though they are so happy?

- Heartbroken x2

A: That’s deep. That sucks and it hurts. But you need to look at the bigger picture. It’s the universe giving you one big sign that those two are not for you anymore. They served a purpose in your life but now you don’t need them in your life.

You don’t date your best friend’s boyfriend. It’s as simple as that.


FIND MORE DEAR ABBY EPISODES HERE AND ON ITUNES HERE

Want more? Follow Abby on Instagram and check out her blog, According to Abby

What a load of ****! Sounds like Dolly circa 1993. ‘Dear Dolly, my BF is rooting Mandy what should I do?’

In saying that, I hope Abby’s career has enough effect on Stringer’s performance that the druggy, cheater, flogs collapse again in 2018.
 

D Mitchell

Club Legend
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Posts
1,974
Likes
148
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray Football Club
#65
What a load of ****! S..
Congratulate her for working to support herself and her 2 daughters. She could have languished on the public purse. The lass is showing herself to be responsible. If you don't like her column, don'y buy the Hun.
 

Unorth

Club Legend
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Posts
1,335
Likes
3,615
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
#66
I was mostly fine reading that.

...Up until the "dear Abby" part. Good god. Good ******* god. Casual sexism in the first answer (Only mum gets to decide on the haircut?) and the second answer is just..."They served a purpose"? You need to eliminate these people from your life because they've found happiness? What the actual **** is that?

I knew going in to reading the piece that it's meant to be lowest common denominator stuff and that she's just taking advantage of an opportunity given to her. My expectations were at an all time low. Yet the piece still found a way to disappoint.
 

BrisDog

Club Legend
Joined
Dec 13, 2012
Posts
2,170
Likes
5,334
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
#67
Congratulate her for working to support herself and her 2 daughters. She could have languished on the public purse. The lass is showing herself to be responsible. If you don't like her column, don'y buy the Hun.
I have not born the Hun since 1999 when I became an adult. I support your premise about people working to support themselves and their family strongly, but I have grave concerns about the Australian general public and the **** they consume on a daily basis. It is not ‘news’, nor reality.
 

charcoalchicken

Brownlow Medallist
Joined
Feb 16, 2010
Posts
13,768
Likes
7,740
Location
President of Terror Squad
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Arsenal
#72
I was mostly fine reading that.

...Up until the "dear Abby" part. Good god. Good ******* god. Casual sexism in the first answer (Only mum gets to decide on the haircut?) and the second answer is just..."They served a purpose"? You need to eliminate these people from your life because they've found happiness? What the actual **** is that?

I knew going in to reading the piece that it's meant to be lowest common denominator stuff and that she's just taking advantage of an opportunity given to her. My expectations were at an all time low. Yet the piece still found a way to disappoint.
Jokes on you for actually bothering to not only read but then let yourself get upset by it.

Good on her making coin off people stupid enough to think it was a good idea to give her a column in the first place, a decent slap in the face for real journalists struggling to get work and actual struggling single mothers working two jobs just to put food on the table for their kids every night, alls right with the world once again.
 

D Mitchell

Club Legend
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Posts
1,974
Likes
148
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray Football Club
#73
I... Good ******* god. Casual sexism in the first answer (Only mum gets to decide on the haircut?) ....
"Grandparents have a role to play, but their job is to love — you know, I’m OK with some lollies before dinner, the sneaky little chocolates — but when it comes to haircuts, ear piercings, anything like that, you need to take a back seat. You need to ask the parents."

is what she advised. Parents, not mum, get to to decide on the haircut. Sexism ? you just didn't read it properly. It's good advice.
 

Unorth

Club Legend
Joined
Apr 3, 2014
Posts
1,335
Likes
3,615
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
#74
"Grandparents have a role to play, but their job is to love — you know, I’m OK with some lollies before dinner, the sneaky little chocolates — but when it comes to haircuts, ear piercings, anything like that, you need to take a back seat. You need to ask the parents."

is what she advised. Parents, not mum, get to to decide on the haircut. Sexism ? you just didn't read it properly. It's good advice.
Don't worry, I read it just fine.

A: Don’t do it. It’s not your child. You had your time, you got to style your kids’ hair. You don’t get to decide on this one. It’s up to the mum.

Yet that part's there at the end. Why include it at all?
 

D Mitchell

Club Legend
Joined
Jul 28, 2006
Posts
1,974
Likes
148
Location
Melbourne
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
Other Teams
Footscray Football Club
#75
Don't worry, I read it just fine.

A: Don’t do it. It’s not your child. You had your time, you got to style your kids’ hair. You don’t get to decide on this one. It’s up to the mum.

Yet that part's there at the end. Why include it at all?
She's giving advice to mum about her response to mother in law. It's crystal clear what she means. You either didn't read the whole advice or you chose virtue signalling, calling her response sexist is risible.
 
Top Bottom