Advice from the bay (Noisy neighbour)

[Kipps]

Hi bay. I live adjacant to a piece of s**t neighbour with a bogan mentality. He thinks it's ok to start banging a hammer as early as 7am! Devoid of others. That's because he's a bogan alcoholic who wasn't raised with any values and doesn't understand it's wrong and uncurt to do this.

What makes matters worse is the piece of s**t starts this time every morning. Then puts the hammer away after 10am (WTF????). How have people here dealt with such pieces of s**t? I split wood at 10pm last night but it obviously didn't teach him anything, and I can't do it at 1am when he is asleep as middle class people are sleeping too.

What would you recommend I do? I called the police and won't do s**t, Melbourne and construction noise is a culture thing now, So far my options consist of threatening to make him pay for a new fence but mainly I would like to wake him up and ruin his day like he has ruined mine the ******* prick hillbilly.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

 

[Dinsdale]

every day? what did you do to annoy him? He just has a auto-hammer machine set on a timer just to annoy you, thats the most likely reason.

 

[Socrates2]

Hi bay. I live adjacant to a piece of s**t neighbour with a bogan mentality. He thinks it's ok to start banging a hammer as early as 7am! Devoid of others. That's because he's a bogan alcoholic who wasn't raised with any values and doesn't understand it's wrong and uncurt to do this.

What makes matters worse is the piece of s**t starts this time every morning. Then puts the hammer away after 10am (WTF????). How have people here dealt with such pieces of s**t? I split wood at 10pm last night but it obviously didn't teach him anything, and I can't do it at 1am when he is asleep as middle class people are sleeping too.

What would you recommend I do? I called the police and won't do s**t, Melbourne and construction noise is a culture thing now, So far my options consist of threatening to make him pay for a new fence but mainly I would like to wake him up and ruin his day like he has ruined mine the ******* prick hillbilly.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

Go out and tell him if he starts before 8am you're gonna fire a paintball gun at his car and steal his workboots.

 

[Xtreme]

Play the Geelong theme as loud as possible every night.

 

[Bodicifer]

Hi bay. I live adjacant to a piece of s**t neighbour with a bogan mentality. He thinks it's ok to start banging a hammer as early as 7am! Devoid of others. That's because he's a bogan alcoholic who wasn't raised with any values and doesn't understand it's wrong and uncurt to do this.

What makes matters worse is the piece of s**t starts this time every morning. Then puts the hammer away after 10am (WTF????). How have people here dealt with such pieces of s**t? I split wood at 10pm last night but it obviously didn't teach him anything, and I can't do it at 1am when he is asleep as middle class people are sleeping too.

What would you recommend I do? I called the police and won't do s**t, Melbourne and construction noise is a culture thing now, So far my options consist of threatening to make him pay for a new fence but mainly I would like to wake him up and ruin his day like he has ruined mine the ******* prick hillbilly.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

Is it a left handed or right handed hammer? If its a right handed hammer, cut off his right arm. If it s a left handed hammer, cut off the left arm.

 

[Tyler Durden007]

Go knock on his door every second day and say you're here to talk about Jebus

 

[Socrates2]

Follow him home and knock on his door at 11pm and ask him has he heard about a man with long hair that challenged the Roman orthodoxy and died for our sins- Jesus Christ that is, then follow that up with a discounted weight loss program then say you're homeless and can you sleep in garage. Once in the garage, locate the nail gun and pour maple syrup into it.

 

[Socrates2]

Go knock on his door every second day and say you're here to talk about Jebus

Man you got the Jesus thing as I was writing,it is the logical answer i suppose.

 

[Kipps]

every day? what did you do to annoy him? He just has a auto-hammer machine set on a timer just to annoy you, thats the most likely reason.

When I screamed "oi *head it's 7am" "whats with all the banging at 7am" I got no response but the noise did stop until I walked back inside. Then he justs starts again like a timid dumb animal. Can't tell if it's a recording tape or just dumb bogan trash hammering in real time. His dog can escape through my fence. If he wants to piss me off again I'll pull the plastic orange s**t off the fence and the dog can go on a suburban adventure like that bud movie

 

[Kipps]

Some great suggestions here. Wouldn't have thought of the jesus one. Who can get angry at jesus.

11pm every night I will give him what he gives me at 7am everyday the campaigner

 

[Dinsdale]

ok try this, when you go to work, assuming you work away from home, set your stereo on full volume, with speakers pointed out the window at his house, and put UB40's "Red, Red Wine" on repeat.

when he complains, tell him you'll stop when he stops his hammering.

 

[Kipps]

Lol is it really true people with ceiliac disease cannot receive communion?

 

[Kipps]

ok try this, when you go to work, assuming you work away from home, set your stereo on full volume, with speakers pointed out the window at his house, and put UB40's "Red, Red Wine" on repeat.

when he complains, tell him you'll stop when he stops his hammering.

Simple but great advice. I'm actually going to do this hope he likes spice girls

 

[Snake_Baker]

Hi bay. I live adjacant to a piece of s**t neighbour with a bogan mentality. He thinks it's ok to start banging a hammer as early as 7am! Devoid of others. That's because he's a bogan alcoholic who wasn't raised with any values and doesn't understand it's wrong and uncurt to do this.

What makes matters worse is the piece of s**t starts this time every morning. Then puts the hammer away after 10am (WTF????). How have people here dealt with such pieces of s**t? I split wood at 10pm last night but it obviously didn't teach him anything, and I can't do it at 1am when he is asleep as middle class people are sleeping too.

What would you recommend I do? I called the police and won't do s**t, Melbourne and construction noise is a culture thing now, So far my options consist of threatening to make him pay for a new fence but mainly I would like to wake him up and ruin his day like he has ruined mine the ******* prick hillbilly.

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

 

[cynical]

go to bed earlier

once you start getting up at 6am, you wont worry about noise at 7am

 

[NetworkNerd]

The laws are you can make noise from 7am... (just not on weekends)

 

[Andrew Birch]

You should be thanking him for getting you out of bed before lunch time you lazy flog.

 

[Bodicifer]

Maybe get Tyreboyz' hot cousin over for a 5am session....she's a screamer

 

[Appin Vet]

Burn all his Hiviz shirts, wife beater blueys and smoke his Winnie Blues. Then drink all his VB Longnecks at 7.40am.

 

[STPer18]

You have no choice but to fight him. He's completely disrespected you so you've got no other choice I'm afraid.

Keep us updated.

 

[Bodicifer]

1. Get an old pair of runners
2. Tie shoe laces together
3. Hurl shoes over MC Hammer's powerline
4. Watch and laugh at junkies arriving for a hit

 

[OnTheRocks]

Stop squatting

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Any suggestions would be much appreciated

Stop pretending to barrack for Carlton & work on your personal hygiene

Follow him home

Yes, how else would you figure out where your neighbour lives

 

[Kipps]

You should be thanking him for getting you out of bed before lunch time you lazy flog.

I find my immune system runs much better when avoiding the sun. Sometimes I'll be going to bed the very moment the attn whore is sharpening the hammer. Lucky I was going to bed early!

The laws are you can make noise from 7am... (just not on weekends)

Noise is permitted in my kingdom before 8:30am, even on a workday. All I can say to the miscreant is stop right now thank you very much, and that he needs someone with a human touch. He'll soon come around to realizing the error of his ways

 

[Saveloy Rockstar]

Lucky you just happen to have every Spice Girls CD ever