AFL pain rankings

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tonygeeks

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 11, 2016
7,576
11,231
AFL Club
Fremantle
Anyone who listens to the 'Around the NFL ' podcast may recognise this BIT as they like to call their segments. " There's a fine line between pleasure and pain " sang Chrissy Amphlett in one of OZ rocks great lyrics and something a lot of AFL fans would no doubt agree. One of the ' hero's ' from the podcast ' which is great by the way even if your not a huge NFL fan ' Chris Wessling got so frustrated with with the way his team the Cincinnati Bengals was run that he bailed , withdrew his support and now just follows the game not any particular team. Drastic ? sure but a demon every true supporter would have wrestled with at some stage. So anyway , state your case as to why your clubs fans have suffered the most and deserve the badge of honour as the toughest , most loyal , thick or thin , rain , hail or shine fans in the AFL.
 

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Yeah I think the Tigers are currently winning this one, although 5 flags in my lifetime make up for it. I reckon that if I gave up following a team you'd have to still follow them to some degree, even if it's just to check the scores to see if they won or lost.
 
FREMANTLE
1 Were concieved at the height of VFL paranoia that they had created a monster with the Eagles/Crows
if you think GWS has people worried then imagine they have won a couple of flags , Gold Coast joins them as a
powerhouse and most of the decision making power is back in the hands of the Victorian club presidents

2 Instead of starting a new club create yourself a political hand grenade by trying to establish a joint venture
between historical enemies South and East Fremantle

3 * Be told by the then head honcho of the AFL / VFL than your foundation list has been designed to ensure you
finish last and stay there for a goodly period of time * hearsay but not denied as far as I'm aware

4 Your golden boy, big brother up the road resents even the low level attention you are receiving and try's to
smother you in your cot with a pillow.

5 Failing to snuff your infant life out they spend the next 10 years belting the sh*t out of you in games of backyard
Footy

6 You appoint as your inaugural coach one of the great football tacticians , an architect of the modern game in a
way. Unfortunately although this could have been a great starting point for our club said coach was so confident
that his style of football was infallible ( the fact you need talent as well as tactics to win in the AFL never sat well
with him ...earth calling Ross ...come in Ross ) he proceeded to fill up our list with acolyte players who had
served him well in the past at the WAFL level. To be fair this strategy was reasonably successful for a time but
other teams adjusted , the game evolved and the rotten core at the foundations of the playing list crumbled
bringing down the temple on the head of the high priest .Dark times ensued , false prophets came and went
Till one day from the east a new messiah appeared " Hear me faithful ones , hear me as you gaze upon the
brilliant holy light of the 5 year plan your salvation is at hand " Again the faithful began the march up the sacred
hill ( not you Steven ) For 3 yrs the Colonel galvanised the troops. Victory after victory ( 9 in a row ) till the
great prize was within our grasp . Alas it was not to be the army soundly defeated in a far flung outpost of the
game , the colonels words loosing the power to inspire and the last 2 yrs of the 5 yr plan were absolute crap

7 2001 draft , later to be known as the ' super draft ' Fremantle due to a couple of years of suckage have the first
pick and a priority pick #4 a relative bonanza considering our history. Every club has a handful of defining
moments and here was Fremantle's best chance. Players such as Judd , Hodge , S Johnson , Dane Swan and
others of similar standing came out of that draft . Who did Freo get ? How about trade the first for Trent Croad
and Grahame Pollack at 4 . Yep it defined us alright and for the next 10 yrs that definition was f***ing
hopeless

8 The old saying goes that even a broken clock is right twice a day and eventually the law of averages demanded
we got enough things right to assemble a good roster , another messiah this time not a colonel but a dictator
again the great prize is within our grasp .... but no misses , slips and just our overall freoness conspire
to undo us once again.

9 The fall as the universe seems to demand is again precipitous

10 The future ? Well to borrow another song lyric ( sort of ) the futures so bright we have to wear .....night vision
goggles

And that is how my fairly average memory recalls the tale of limited highs and deep deep lows that has been supporting the FFC , and why freo fans can rightly hold their head high and say while ours might not be the longest tale of woe in football our pain has been as sharp as anyone's and the prospect of much more to come is almost certain ......oh fate you cruel , cruel bitch
 
Id say Melbourne fans have had it by far the worse in recent times (last 7-12 years).
St Kilda would have been painful to support... during the grand final appearance years.
 
Tigers fans in a landslide. Loyal through decades of bitter disappointment. I have a great deal of respect for them.
 
Top 4 would have to be Richmond, Melbourne, Saints and Freo.

Carlton and Brisbane have both put in a late surge in the last decade or so but have too many credits in the bank to displace one of the big 4 just yet.
 
I always wanted to create a pain power rankings - this thread seems as good a thread as any.

Here's my criteria:
1. A premiership wipes away all the pain. It is calculated since the last time you got to strut and rule the roost.
2. Otherwise, scoring is as follows:
- Each year since premiership = 1 pt
- Each consecutive year out of the finals = 1 pt (since last finals appearance)
- preliminary finals losses = 2 pts
- grand final losses = 5 pts
- Bottom 4 finishes = 1 pt
- Wooden spoons = 3 pts
- Heart-breakers (defined as 3pts for any final loss by 6 pts or less since 2004, and 1 pt for any loss this season by 6 pts or less because recency matters)
- Tin rattling (if you had to rattle tins, sell games overseas or interstate, or debase yourself in some other way like a ridiculous corporate jumper or changig a players name to 'Whiskas' for a week) = 5pts
- Major scandals (salary cap, drugs, etc) = 5 pts
- Favorite sons departing to a rival club = 3 pts
- Your club gets merged, relocated or disbands = 50 pts (unless you pick a new team who wins the premiership, which wipes the pain)
- Miscellaneous (anything else that hurts deep that I can remember) = Varies depending on the level of heartbreak

Here are the rankings, from least miserable to most. A couple of surprises (note - the scores below are scores for each category, not the number):

1. Western Bulldogs. Winners are grinners

2. Hawthorn, 10 pts (1 year + 3 heartbreaker + 6 pts favourite son departures)

3. Geelong, 12 pts (5 years + 4 preliminary losses + 3 heartbreaker)

4. Collingwood 17 pts (5 years + 3 missed finals + 2 prelim + 3 heartbreaker + 5 misc pts for the Bucks situation)
I might be underweighting the Bucks istuation. Collingwood rank low by being just medium since Bucks took over

5. GWS 20 pts (5 years + 2 prelim + 3 bottom 4 + 6 spoons + 4 heartbreaker)

6. Gold Coast 21 pts (6 years + 6 missed finals + 5 bottom 4 + 3 spoons + 1 heartbreaker)

6. Sydney 21 pts (4 years + 4 prelim + 10 Gf + 2 heartbrekaer)
They get points for losing PFs and GFs but I think most would take this level of heartbreak...

8. Port 26 pts (12 years + 2 missed finals + 2 prelim + 5 GF + 4 heartbreaker)

9. North 32 pts (17 years + 4 prelmi + 3 bottom 4 + 3 heartbreaker)
It has been a long time for North, but they've avoided heartbreak by being consistently mediocre - not many top or bottom 4!

10. Brisbane 37 pts (15 years + 7 missed finals + 5 GF + 5 misc for the Crazy Vossy era)
It feels like they should be worse, but they did win 3 premierships a decade ago. Some of the teams below them have been Brisbane-like for Generations

11. West Coast 42 (11 years + 4 prelim + 5 GF + 6 heartbreaker + 6 favourite sons + 10 misc for the drugs scandal and everything since)

12. Essendon 47 points (16 years + 2 missed finals + 5 GF + 4 bottom 4 + 2 heartbreaker + 10 misc for drugs scandal + 5 pts for Hird/Greatest son)
Seems about right for Essendon and West Coast

13. Fremantle 48 points (21 years + 1 missed finals + 4 prelim + 5 grand final + 9 bottom 4 + 3 spoons + 5 misc for purple anchors, clive waterhouse and everything else)

14. Adelaide 49 points (19 years + 4 prelims + 12 heartbreaker + 3 for the Tippet scandal + 10 because their coach died)
Surprisingly miserable run - a heap of top 4 finishes that have ended in heartbreak + Phil Walsh tragedy just sucks.

15. Carlton 68 points (21 years + 3 missed final + 2 prelim + 5 gF + 6 bottom 4 + 12 spoons + 6 heart-breaker + 5 for AFL loans/M+Ms jumper + 5 salary cap scandal + 3 for Fevola departure)
Just consistent across every form of misery for the past 20 years. A strong misery performer for a once-great club

16. Richmond 107 points (36 years + 1 missed finals + 4 prelms + 5 GF + 17 bottom 4 + 21 spoons + 4 heartbreaker + 5 tin rattling + 3 for Terry Wallace + 3 for the manure dump + 3 microwaved memberships)
Surprisingly, Richmond aren't last, mainly because they don't have a lot of close losses to round off a very lowly 35 years

17. St Kilda 127 points (50 years + 5 missed finals + 10 prelim + 6 GF + 21 bottom 4 + 27 spoons + 5 heartbreaker + 5 tin rattling + 3 unmentionable scandals)
A hefty legacy there. Thought they might be worst, but not quite unless I've missed something)

18. Melbourne 135 points (52 years + 10 missed finals + 6 prelims + 10 GF + 24 bottom 4 + 21 spoon + 5 heart-brekaer + 5 nearly merged + 2 for minor salary cap scandals).
Just miserable in every way. They've been last a lot, particularly bad for the past decade, and when they've been good it has ended badly (see: 1987 PF, 1988 and 2000 GFs). I thought about giving them a discount for the time their fans have spent at the snow each year, but then again at this point htat's probably just a coping mechanism...

Anyway, that's my attempt at an objective ranking. Seems pretty accurate. Surprises are how bad Melbourne and Adelaide are, and how well Collingwood stack up (more disappointment than misery in their case, I think).
 
I always wanted to create a pain power rankings - this thread seems as good a thread as any.

Here's my criteria:
1. A premiership wipes away all the pain. It is calculated since the last time you got to strut and rule the roost.
2. Otherwise, scoring is as follows:
- Each year since premiership = 1 pt
- Each consecutive year out of the finals = 1 pt (since last finals appearance)
- preliminary finals losses = 2 pts
- grand final losses = 5 pts
- Bottom 4 finishes = 1 pt
- Wooden spoons = 3 pts
- Heart-breakers (defined as 3pts for any final loss by 6 pts or less since 2004, and 1 pt for any loss this season by 6 pts or less because recency matters)
- Tin rattling (if you had to rattle tins, sell games overseas or interstate, or debase yourself in some other way like a ridiculous corporate jumper or changig a players name to 'Whiskas' for a week) = 5pts
- Major scandals (salary cap, drugs, etc) = 5 pts
- Favorite sons departing to a rival club = 3 pts
- Your club gets merged, relocated or disbands = 50 pts (unless you pick a new team who wins the premiership, which wipes the pain)
- Miscellaneous (anything else that hurts deep that I can remember) = Varies depending on the level of heartbreak

Here are the rankings, from least miserable to most. A couple of surprises (note - the scores below are scores for each category, not the number):

1. Western Bulldogs. Winners are grinners

2. Hawthorn, 10 pts (1 year + 3 heartbreaker + 6 pts favourite son departures)

3. Geelong, 12 pts (5 years + 4 preliminary losses + 3 heartbreaker)

4. Collingwood 17 pts (5 years + 3 missed finals + 2 prelim + 3 heartbreaker + 5 misc pts for the Bucks situation)
I might be underweighting the Bucks istuation. Collingwood rank low by being just medium since Bucks took over

5. GWS 20 pts (5 years + 2 prelim + 3 bottom 4 + 6 spoons + 4 heartbreaker)

6. Gold Coast 21 pts (6 years + 6 missed finals + 5 bottom 4 + 3 spoons + 1 heartbreaker)

6. Sydney 21 pts (4 years + 4 prelim + 10 Gf + 2 heartbrekaer)
They get points for losing PFs and GFs but I think most would take this level of heartbreak...

8. Port 26 pts (12 years + 2 missed finals + 2 prelim + 5 GF + 4 heartbreaker)

9. North 32 pts (17 years + 4 prelmi + 3 bottom 4 + 3 heartbreaker)
It has been a long time for North, but they've avoided heartbreak by being consistently mediocre - not many top or bottom 4!

10. Brisbane 37 pts (15 years + 7 missed finals + 5 GF + 5 misc for the Crazy Vossy era)
It feels like they should be worse, but they did win 3 premierships a decade ago. Some of the teams below them have been Brisbane-like for Generations

11. West Coast 42 (11 years + 4 prelim + 5 GF + 6 heartbreaker + 6 favourite sons + 10 misc for the drugs scandal and everything since)

12. Essendon 47 points (16 years + 2 missed finals + 5 GF + 4 bottom 4 + 2 heartbreaker + 10 misc for drugs scandal + 5 pts for Hird/Greatest son)
Seems about right for Essendon and West Coast

13. Fremantle 48 points (21 years + 1 missed finals + 4 prelim + 5 grand final + 9 bottom 4 + 3 spoons + 5 misc for purple anchors, clive waterhouse and everything else)

14. Adelaide 49 points (19 years + 4 prelims + 12 heartbreaker + 3 for the Tippet scandal + 10 because their coach died)
Surprisingly miserable run - a heap of top 4 finishes that have ended in heartbreak + Phil Walsh tragedy just sucks.

15. Carlton 68 points (21 years + 3 missed final + 2 prelim + 5 gF + 6 bottom 4 + 12 spoons + 6 heart-breaker + 5 for AFL loans/M+Ms jumper + 5 salary cap scandal + 3 for Fevola departure)
Just consistent across every form of misery for the past 20 years. A strong misery performer for a once-great club

16. Richmond 107 points (36 years + 1 missed finals + 4 prelms + 5 GF + 17 bottom 4 + 21 spoons + 4 heartbreaker + 5 tin rattling + 3 for Terry Wallace + 3 for the manure dump + 3 microwaved memberships)
Surprisingly, Richmond aren't last, mainly because they don't have a lot of close losses to round off a very lowly 35 years

17. St Kilda 127 points (50 years + 5 missed finals + 10 prelim + 6 GF + 21 bottom 4 + 27 spoons + 5 heartbreaker + 5 tin rattling + 3 unmentionable scandals)
A hefty legacy there. Thought they might be worst, but not quite unless I've missed something)

18. Melbourne 135 points (52 years + 10 missed finals + 6 prelims + 10 GF + 24 bottom 4 + 21 spoon + 5 heart-brekaer + 5 nearly merged + 2 for minor salary cap scandals).
Just miserable in every way. They've been last a lot, particularly bad for the past decade, and when they've been good it has ended badly (see: 1987 PF, 1988 and 2000 GFs). I thought about giving them a discount for the time their fans have spent at the snow each year, but then again at this point htat's probably just a coping mechanism...

Anyway, that's my attempt at an objective ranking. Seems pretty accurate. Surprises are how bad Melbourne and Adelaide are, and how well Collingwood stack up (more disappointment than misery in their case, I think).

Fantastic work , can't argue with your logic except perhaps - 5 for every top 10 draft pick currently on your list that should drop freo down a bit closer too where my spirits are @ the moment


On iPad using BigFooty.com mobile app
 
Last edited:
Losses by under a kick

Club|Gms|L < 6|%
\Sy|2396|150|6.26
\Ad|615|36|5.85
\WC|717|41|5.72
\Fi|1928|108|5.60
\WB|1906|106|5.56
\Ca|2459|134|5.45
\NM|1932|105|5.43
\Me|2364|122|5.16
\Co|2498|126|5.04
\St|2340|117|5.00
\Ri|2218|110|4.96
\Ha|1943|95|4.89
\Ge|2393|116|4.85
\Es|2424|117|4.83
\Un|126|6|4.76
\PA|475|22|4.63
\Fr|511|20|3.91
\Br|695|27|3.88
\GWS|124|4|3.23
\GC|144|4|2.78
 

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It's a tough one on St Kilda. In a sense they've had it a lot better than Richmond in that they've made grand finals and have had some great seasons but the repeated ripping out of the heart on grand final day may actually be worse because you get hopes raised.

Freo don't have a flag yet so I think they win it for now but it will seriously be a massive day when they do win it.

If you're a Melbourne supporter who's too young to at least remember 2000 we'll you would have a legitimate claim too. I've been to a lot of their games in recent years and my mates' souls have been crushed.
 
I feel sorry for a Richmond supporter born in 1983. 34 years old and seen two finals wins. Ouch. Sometimes its best to laugh.
Yep much easier for we 50 plus supporters plenty of glory in that 60's /70's period culminating in the 1980 flag on my Birthday but from there its been slim pickings.
Strangely we still pull in the supporters in droves the Tiger icon sucks in a lot of kiddies, who doesnt love a Tiger, our turn will come again just hope Im still around to enjoy it.
 

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AFL pain rankings

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