with a mullet and a popsicle
- Mar 8, 2014
- AFL Club
- West Coast
I was hoping the preview would be up on the Hawks board so I could just stroll in and blatantly plagiarise the fu** out of it. No such luck, those lazy campaigners haven't done one yet either. In fact I don't think they actually do full previews over there. I thought I could sneakily copy their effort for the Freo match and just change the names to protect the guilty. But this is the full OP:
Woah. Punchy. Are you still awake? That's absolute trash and you all know it. Well, at least now I'm slightly more confident mine will be the best of the previews put up by the two boards.After having some time off, the Hawks are back on Optus Stadium playing the Dockers to keep their finals chances alive. Losing Burgoyne to injury will hurt, but it opens the door for Conor Nash to make his first appearance of the season and to give the Hawthorn forward line a different look.
Let's hope we see the Hawthorn of the last three quarters against the Blues and not the Hawthorn of the first quarter.
Then it struck me in a flash of something. Venture discretely on to the Purple Enemy's board and just use their preview from last week! Brilliant! I've copy pasta'd it in full here so we can all revel in the glory of its magnificence:
So. Here we are. Now I'm faced with a nearly blank page and writer's block. I find the key is to just start typing and the sh*t will flow. Not literally of course. Well I hope not anyway.Leave your changes and any pre-match discussion below.
To be honest I'm not really across what's going on at the family club. They've gone from being highly relevant to being...well, mostly irrelevant. If they didn't have a certain A. Clarkson as coach, a man who likes to drop the odd hand grenade in press conferences just to make sure his team is in the headlines, I'm sure they would have faded even further into the background by now.
Clarko prep'ing for his next press conference.
I don't want to write off the oppo, because if I do they're bound to give us an almighty flogging this weekend, but the 2020 Hawks are a pretty ordinary mob. And we owe these campaigners for the last game we played, when our lads took things waaaaay too lightly, lost and it cost us top four and a premiership. That's right b*tch, I said it cost us a premiership. Anyway, it was all their fault. We also still owe them for certain Grand Finals that were never played in certain years we can't mention. Bloody Hawthorn.
So rather than me write the Hawks off, I thought I'd let some supporters of other clubs do it.
Richmond:Just call Hawthorn old, slow and are trading away their future to try to stay relevant as they have the 2nd most fickle fan base in the world (number one being the Tigers). Also point out how Clarkson thinks he is the 2nd coming and will be sacked during next season
Freagle:fu** off we are not fickle.
Hawthorn:Can Hawthorn succeed while ignoring the elite end of the draft?
OK, that's all I could muster in the time allotted. It seems that very few people really care about the Hawks any more.I reckon the Eagles could rest half the team and still win by 10 goals against our headless chooks,,!
Us: 6 in a row biatch.
Them: umm...I don't know. A few losses to some other minnows?
Us: our Rolls Royce mids. fu** that though, can't they be Lambos? So our Lamborghini mids (incl. NicNat) plus Kennedy and Darling. Our mids (incl. NN) are a handful for any team, and when Kennedy and Darling compete strongly they create plenty of scoring opportunities for themselves and others.
NN and JK have been in sublime form.
Them: ahh...O'meara and Worpel?
How to beat the Hawks
Kick more goals than them. Yeah sorry, I've got nothing. Here are some thoughts from someone we all know is much smarter than me:
Weather forecastSimply remove the option for any ball movement through the corridor and prevent the run-from-behind handball option whenever they take a mark.
Without those available, the Hawks are too slow to be able to move the ball in any damaging way - in 6 of their last 7 matches they have failed to reach 60 points.
sh*t. Let's hope it turns out better than forecast because stormy and wet will be a great leveller.
If wet: Eagles by 10.
If dry and sunny: Eagles by 10. Goals.
Apologies Biggie, HoneyBadger35 I've phoned this bad boy in. But it's better than the nothing you had until I saved your sorry arses at the last minute.