Preview AFLM Round 16: Fremantle and Port Adelaide in Beyond the Wharf.

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You're not my supervisor!
Dec 31, 2019
AFL Club
Other Teams
WPFC; WA; StGI Dragons; GumbiesFFC
*please read the following italicised text in movie trailer guy voice [PS: check this vid if you’re unsure or if you want to put a face to the voice]

Led by Coke Zero drinking evil mastermind Ken, the opposition group Port hijacks two wins from an unsuspecting Gold Coast and Sydney and threatens widespread ladder destruction to extort a finals position. The dashing agents of 007, also known as the Fremantle Dockers, are sent to recover the win for themselves from the heart of Ken’s temporary lair in Burswood. Along the way facing attacks from obstacles like Boak, Wines, Powell-Pepper and most scary of all, Aliir. They must also convince the enchanting perplexing David King, Ken’s mistress, to become a key ally.

Andy Brayshaw, Alex Pearce and Sean Darcy lead this top cast in, Beyond the Wharf.

In cinemas Optus Stadium July 2.

Rated PG for occasional course language (when isn’t there when watching Freo!).



You're not my supervisor!
Dec 31, 2019
AFL Club
Other Teams
WPFC; WA; StGI Dragons; GumbiesFFC

So, when Tonga Bob asked me to do a match preview on the Fremantle board, I thought:

Let's see...

This will be our agents 40th mission against Port Adelaide with our statistics as below:


This season, Fremantle have stunned many through their ability to consistently win matches- particularly against the best teams. So much so, that many of the AFL media have been scrambling to board the Fremantle bandwagon. However, there is a habit forming this year of the Dockers losing to mid-table teams and the media jumping off as if they weren’t infatuated with the purple just days earlier.

For some in the media, The World is Not Enough

At 10-4 it’s fair to say we’ve met and succeeded in the 2022 brief so far. The loss to bogey team Carlton last week was disappointing but not a disaster by any stretch when you bank early wins. As the only team to have beaten all of Melbourne, Geelong and Brisbane in 2022, Fremantle should be confident of their abilities in the big games. Port Adelaide meanwhile started their season worse than West Coast and North Melbourne. Since West Coast played them into form in Round 6, Port have only lost to Geelong and Richmond to sit at 7-7.

CRIKEY! A visual metaphor for Fremantle coming from behind away against both Geelong and Melbourne.


After a poor performance, the view amongst many armchair critics is to drop four or five. Ultimately though, J Lo has rolled with a pretty consistent line up in 2022 underlining the improvement in talent. Chapman, Walters, Switkowski and Tucker would head the wish list with Walters the most likely to return from injury this week, maybe for Crowden with Banfield returned to super sub. With a general bye in the WAFL, the club may be loathe to make many changes. Ethan Hughes would likely be the player under most pressure so if Chapman is ready, there is one like-for-like upgrade.


Q has us well equipped as usual.

This would have been useful for supporters in the Damian Drum era.

  • Sean Darcy: Against depleted Port Adelaide ruck stocks, Darcy should stretch (almost literally) the opposition and be a massive headache soaring like a Moonraker. He will be needed to go forward and provide height and muscle to pressure Aliir.
  • Luke Ryan: remains the most underrated current Docker. A genuine ‘A-grader’ who has been going about his business in an amazingly settled defence. His intercepts and willingness to take the game on a feature. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: he’s actually really damn good and goes under the radar pleasingly to our advantage.
  • Lachie Schultz: our little Octopussy- diminutive but destructive. We still haven’t lost a match when he kicks two majors and his efforts both with ball in hand and while pressuring are critical. Very much a forward line barometer with just one goal total in our four losses this year.
  • David Mundy: Mundycloseto4hundy had a rare down match last week. He rarely does so twice so back his poise and agelessness to perform when it matters this week. Let’s remember he’s that good that he even appeared on the front of The West once. For his football. He’s just THAT good.

Rare photographic evidence that footballers other than Nic Nat may grace the cover of The West.



Now, let’s look at our enemies.

  • Sam Powell-Pepper: A big name in Scrabble but not on the star radar, ‘the bull’ has had a nice season by adding crisp disposal and an ability to hit the scoreboard to his game. Tomorrow Never Dies with this fella.
  • Aliir Aliir: Less prominent than last season, Aliir poses a huge danger in this game. His rebounding capabilities and tank mean that he feasts upon forwards who are not switched on. His weakness is playing purely as a defender so will need to send height forward to not just to assist Taberner but also to stretch Aliir.
  • Todd Marshall: the key forward is coming back to form nicely. He was Dr No goals early in the season but the return of Charlie Dixon has been significant in his season. A key player we’ll need to keep quiet as like Tabs he doesn’t need much possession to have scoreboard impact.


Put your glasses back on, we need to read the mission notes.

For Fremantle, there is little room for error if we are to finish top six. The ladder is such a logjam that this really is No Time to Die. Port have just come off a thriller against the Gold Coast. Off the back of a close game and with a six day break, our agents need to exploit Port’s fatigue. Port are a side that likes to go long and direct to their forwards so we’ll need to force them into what a previous M called ‘dirty ball’ by pressuring them into clumsiness and errors. Our defensive pressure has been way down since the Melbourne so recapturing that is a necessity if we’re to do any damage as the weather warms.

Port Adelaide know a loss for them and that’s almost certainly curtains for their season so no doubt they’ll have a mantra similar to ‘Die Another Day’. They’ll be desperate to the point of recklessness on occasion so we have the opportunity to exploit hard on the turnover with Liam Henry and Minairo Frederick’s pace an asset.

Then, there’s the man with the golden guns- Griffin Logue. Where to play him? I’m a fan of trialling him forward as he might be the Chris Mayne replacement we’ve been looking for- mid size player who biggest asset is there pressure.

Let’s hope we scare the living daylights out of them. If not, hopefully we can all find our Quantum of Solace.

So, if you’re staying home on Sunday, get yourself into a comfy chair and lets hopefully enjoy a win.

Well, maybe a little more gracefully than that..

..much better.


Dockers, just, in a thriller. Let’s hope we cause Port a…kenundrum!

SonSon celebrating a rare occasion that Falconista tips Freo.



That prediction From Russia, with Love

  • 007 years since Freo last played finals;
  • #007 is our captain and looks-wise, most ‘Bondian’. I really could see this guy On Her Majesty’s Secret Service;
  • So far, Port Adelaide have won 007 matches this season;
  • Our next finals win (hopefully this year) will be our…007th;
  • After this round, there are 007 rounds left in the home and away season.



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Piggy Smalls

Unofficial SFA Fantasy Pig
Nov 30, 2018
AFL Club
Great work Falconista!

I always love reading these and the quality this season has been top notch!

Freo by one point after the siren with a contentious free kick and Ken to spit his Coke Zero all over the box


Norm Smith Medallist
Jun 27, 2011
AFL Club
  • Luke Ryan: remains the most underrated current Docker. A genuine ‘A-grader’ who has been going about his business in an amazingly settled defence. His intercepts and willingness to take the game on a feature. FOR YOUR EYES ONLY: he’s actually really damn good and goes
Game 100 btw.

Should start breeding straight away...
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