Prediction All-arse Nostradamus - baseless predictions

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Jake Long's stats today, in before he has actually played his first match:

Disposals- 13 (6 hb, 7 k)
Tackles-3
Marks-4
Goals-1
Behinds-1
Running bounces-3
Score assists-3
Metres gained-209

A
 
Jake Long's stats today, in before he has actually played his first match:

Disposals- 13 (6 hb, 7 k)
Tackles-3
Marks-4
Goals-1
Behinds-1
Running bounces-3
Score assists-3
Metres gained-209

A
Aaaaaaand what he actually got

Disposals-13
Marks-4
Goals-nearly 1
Running bounces-at least one, * knows
Score assists-3
Metres gained- * knows who cares I've won this s**t already. Gonna pour that pint of warm lagavullin scotch right now. Peace! Long!
 
You know how the random threads show up at the bottom of the page? Yeah that.
they are so ******* stupid.

oh you’re in Mark Baguleys thread- may we suggest Mark williams thread? it hasn’t been touched in 10 years
 

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A bit of armless fun here. I had a look and couldn't find another thread for baseless and entirely speculative predictions ... and I didn't want to rub shoulders with mouth-breathing Carlton and Richmond fans in Delusional Pearlers.

Now I'm going to presume that our beloved club of recent constant sorrow will make another Grand final while most of us are still alive. My prediction is that our opponent in that Grand Final will be Carlton. And all that entails, and suggests ...

And on that day, we cut the ropes which bind us together on 16 flags and watch our foe fall into the abyss ... That last bit was sponsored by Tanqueray (and hope in divine justice).

I’ve been meaning to bump this, it is time.
Not that our form has us on that type of trajectory so far this year - but I’m going to lay my cahones on the table and cordially invite people to take up the big rubber mallet (not actually part of the bet) and say: this will happen next year. Except, I can’t tell you the outcome. Imagine how that might play out, the build up. The anticipation. Who will be first to #17? I imagine BFL won’t be the only one to need sedation that week ... Would require quite the getting-our-s**t-together as it stands at round 3 2018 though.
 
2018. As I gaze deeply into my crystal balls, the mist clears - shapes move and twist and emerge. Gruesome and grotesque images appear, headlines flash across my reeling mind (“Man bites Dog”); phantasmagoria and strange ugly creatures creep towards my flinching eyes from a weird and uncanny future.

Channeling my deep Macca18 , I predict that this year we will finish beneath Hawthorn, and within 4 points of Blues this year. s**t.
BZT will play three games this year, and go on to establish himself as the next candidate for the tradional Essendonian past-time of ‘forwardsies or backsies?’ By showing great promise through this year and next.
 

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