Love the one where Dylan Shiel was put off by Carlton’s pitch of caviar and meeting Chris Judd and now he is stuck at a club known far and wide as * and he chose them because of the lure of a Premiership. That deserves an extra Premiership.
The thing with the current Essendon list is that they are in no mans land. Not good enough to get into finals, but no bad enough to bottom out and rebuild. They are a middle of the road team, and will be for a long long time.Their current stocks are taking them nowhere. Good news is, they're too blind to see that. So they'll persist with them for the next 3 years before realising they need a full list rebuild.
From that point, IF everything goes mostly well, it'll take about 6-7 years for their new list to nurture into a finals side.
Believe me they are at least 10 years away from a flag.
I'll never forget a few years ago Basil Zempilas was frothing over their forward line of Daniher and McKernan "Throw Stewart in there and you've got some real elite talent" lol what an absolute *******
Club has inquired about Merrett.
Offer Dodo a 68.I posted this is another thread, but I guess it's true home is in here....
Sh!tstain Football Club
From where the Bowls Club let them build
Re: The only player on your list with any trade currency
To whom it may concern (aka Dodo and the rare other Essendon* employee(s?) that can read),
We hereby lodge our interest in acquiring Zac Merrett from your club via a trade in the upcoming off-season.
Zac has indicated he will be seeking a trade following the conclusion of the season due to the fact that another team will allow him to fulfill his goal of no longer playing for Essendon*.
We acknowledge that Merrett is a very talented footballer, who is also under contract. So we are willing to pay a fair price. As indicated to Dodo in previous trade discussions a fair price excludes such items as 'all the draft picks in every draft for the next infinity years plus one', 'all the tea in China', 'the moon, 'the pyramids of Giza', 'a time machine' or 'Donald Trump's integrity'. In fact, the last two items do not even exist.
We are willing to offer you multiple draft picks so you can finally 'inject some youth' into your team. Ahem.....that was probably a poor choice of words.
You may have noticed that we have written Essendon* with an asterisk at the end. That is to signify both your shameful drug cheating regime (and subsequent denial and obfuscation of said regime) and the fact that Merrett may be the only star currently on your list. We realise that losing Merrett would leave you with very few talented players and demoralise your club. That has no direct bearing on the price we are willing to pay, we just really liked writing that sentence.
Please feel free to contact us via the Court of Arbitration for Sport as we won't bother expecting reasonable negotiations with you during trade week. We are told that if you call CAS on their main line +41 21 613 50 00 and press 1 then # it takes you straight to their Department of Dodo-related trade nightmares.
Worst of luck for the rest of the season.
<Insert son of famous Carlton champion here>
^Note to postie: Whilst we can completely understand you mistakenly delivering our previous correspondence addressed to The sh*tstain Football Club to the nearby Total Tools Tullamarine franchise, we can confirm that they are not only two separate organisations but actually unrelated entities. Yes, we were quite shocked to find that out too.