Amusing Facebook/Social Site Stories

[Tzatziki_Man]

Please post amusing stories that have arisen from social sites. Funny ones would be great.

Here's mine.

Worked with an 18 year old girl at Kmart for a year or so before I got my FT job after Uni. Had her on Facebook and then she posted one video of herself on Facebook singing a song.

She was okay. Not great, not bad, but inbetween. I was alright with it, but it kept going on and on and she I was hearing horror stories of how this little princess was treating workers at Kmart. She would cancel shifts because she apparently had auditions and she would refer to herself in third person. It's quite hilarious.

Anyway, she wrote her weekly status updates on every X Factor contestant and there were all puke worthy. I put my two cents worth (that Jai is just another kid who they're trying to sucker the girls into for a few months) and she lashed out at me.

A few minutes later I wrote her this and sent PMd it to all the people I worked at Kmart with. It got quite the reaction...lol

Dear Fans,

My dream is to become Hokage. The ultimate Japanese Ninja.

Now that I have your attention,

I will spend everyday thinking as if 'I AM' Hokage. I will spray myself with whatever cologne the japanese ninja's spray themselves with. I'll dress like a ninja. I'll post videos of myself doing my action moves for all of you to see on Facebook.

ALL THE TIME.

Once that's done and I've drained your life I'll audition for Japanese Ninja Idol and when I fail, I'll post some heartfelt status that I got knocked down and I'll get back up! Then whilst watching Japanese Ninja Idol on television I'll comment critically on everybody's performance by stating that they're 'inspirational' and whatever other shit I can spew out my arse to make you vomit.

I'll often post in third person (do you smell what The Con is cooking), to my fans (that I don't have) and to industry executives such as the ever inspiring Kokashi Sensei. You know, I'll sniff farts from my arse to sound top shit.

But be careful, if anyone of you comment critically on any of those ninjas, regardless of whether you want to be a ninja or not, I'll just claim you're entitled to your opinion but try to shoot you down for it anyway.

If you ever shoot me down though, I'll laugh at you, disagree with you and claim to 'laugh at you when I make it!' Oddly enough motivating myself with fictitious hate.

This is real. It's not me doing it however, and it's got nothing to do with being a Japanese Ninja. It's simply a delirious child called Claudia that I used to work with. She's trying to be a singer. Hey, I commented positively on a few of her videos, not that I watched them all, just to be supportive. But my support works both ways, treat my opinion with respect and I'll do the same with yours. We're no longer Facebook friends anymore, I had to delete her. It's got nothing to do with hate. Even those this oddball think it does. It's more annoyance.

In fact, I just felt like writing something tonight because I've spent my whole weekend watching Naruto, my girlfriend's been gone for two months and I spent most of my weekend re-writing a 5000 word job application for a job I already have! So it would be hilarious if she took the credit for this lengthy response. Sometimes an answer isn't deep at all, it's simple.

Kind regards,

Contaku Uzumoka

 

[NSWCROW]

Pics ??...

 

[Tzatziki_Man]

Pics ??...

Doesn't float my boat.

Small and skinny, no assets and oddly shaped head...and well I deleted her from Facebook so I can't provide them haha. But yes, dislike these facebook self promoters, it's starting to get worse with Bitstrips now. If you haven't heard of that, DON'T look it up.

 

[NSWCROW]

it's starting to get worse with Bitstrips now. If you haven't heard of that, DON'T look it up.

Yeah i think it crashed FB earlier

 

[checkraiseulite]

[ ] amusing
[x] facebook story

 

[JuddsABlue]

Man you're gonna regret this when she's famous!

 

[Julius Seizure]

One time my friend left his Facebook logged in on my computer, so I wrote a status saying he is gay. Mad trolling.

 

[Julius Seizure]

The best actual Facebook story I have got is a friend of mine setting up an event, that gave out a friends phone number, and Facebook profile, and instructed that a week later everyone just send him messages, add him on fb etc. it was brilliant on the day, poor bloke recieved hundreds of messages from randoms. Looking back, I'm amazed it didn't actually end horribly, most people sent the one text, or added him, and that was it.

 

[Illinois Nazi]

The best actual Facebook story I have got is a friend of mine setting up an event, that gave out a friends phone number, and Facebook profile, and instructed that a week later everyone just send him messages, add him on fb etc. it was brilliant on the day, poor bloke recieved hundreds of messages from randoms. Looking back, I'm amazed it didn't actually end horribly, most people sent the one text, or added him, and that was it.

Should have tied his shoelaces together for real hilarity.

 

[Julius Seizure]

Should have tied his shoelaces together for real hilarity.

?

 

[little graham]

One time my friend left his Facebook logged in on my computer, so I wrote a status saying he is gay. Mad trolling.

So original, bet you felt like writing screenplays next?

Seriously, I like to see a good hack, like a status .." quitting my job, joining the circus as a cleaner and donating all my money the government to slow down HIV infection amongst homosexuals"

 

[SugarShane]

One time my friend left his Facebook logged in on my computer, so I wrote a status saying he is gay. Mad trolling.

 

[ioppolo]

?

Can't find/remember the thread, something like 'Have You Ever Broken The Law?'.

That thread will answer your questions.

 

[HugeJohnson]

One time my friend left his Facebook logged in on my computer, so I wrote a status saying he is gay. Mad trolling.

Elite hacking skillz bro

 

[Illinois Nazi]

Can't find/remember the thread, something like 'Have You Ever Broken The Law?'.

That thread will answer your questions.

I can't remember either but I thought it was something about practical jokes... ?

 

[SugarShane]

This is the original thread.

http://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threa...lude-crazy-shoelace-related-behaviour.850837/

The OP has mysteriously disappeared but can still be found in quotes.