Pets Anger

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
This is in sincerity. Not a piss take.

A lot of my life I've being a pretty emotional person.

At about age 16 my old man kind of said to me as much as I loved sport, as well as I went, it probably wasn't good for me. I hated my mates after games, I grew grudges, I was a good sport and fair but could only ever play a great game when I was emotionally charged.

That manifested in a few ways and I lost a fair majority of my friends in high school as a result of anger. I'd always get in jumper punches during kick to kick at lunch time (usually with other hot headed little pricks) and lashed out a few times. This is probably why I'm a contrarian and have no issue acting the way I do on this forum.

I don't care if lots of people don't like me.

Lately when I've been on the sauce I've been coming home absolutely seething if someone doesn't go my way. But I never get in fights or anything close. If someone steps on me or spills my drink I'll say something to them. It's an internalised anger.

At the same time, I get pretty emotional in general. I'm a lot less anxious then I used to be but I feel really good when, uh, good things happen. Elation is easy to come by. And when I'm on the sauce I can feel extremely happy too – my mates could probably attest to that.

I'm just an emotional person in general, but can also be pretty nonplussed and regular, but the issue with it is that the negative emotions come out way too strongly. I say things to mates I shouldn't and the crux of their issues with me is my own behaviour sometimes.

I do not have any actual issue. Borderline Personality Disorder et al isn't what's going on. I feel good about myself, I don't get bored more than anyone else, I don't engage in binge drinking or eating or drug use, I'm not an addictive person, and I don't get depression let alone self harm. I'm just an angry mother*er.

I am not five beers deep. I'm not taking the piss. I'm just seriously looking for help or anyone who relates to this. I'm sure there'll be a correlation with height and anger here, too!
 

ioppolo

This only ends one way.
Oct 3, 2010
27,263
25,721
Perth
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Chelsea, OKC Thunder, Scorchers
I have the same sort of issues, since I was little, I've managed to control it to a certain extent over the years though. I never got real pissed off at mates but every now and then I'll lash out at my mum over nothing, which sucks because she's been nothing but good to me. I've also lashed out at my girlfriend out of the blue before.

My anger will also just rock up out the blue on me if I'm watching something about an issue I'm passionate about. I got extremely angry when I watched the 'NAMBLA' episode of South Park, just because of how ****ed the idea of NAMBLA is. I can also get myself very worked up just by thinking about things. I have a lot of built up anger inside me waiting to come out too which can only end badly.

When you say height, what height are you? I'm 5'7'' but I don't think that's a reason for me as I used to be one of the taller ones in my Primary school days and I was still angry.

Maybe look into anger management? I've considered it but I don't like the idea of seeing a specialist. Not a man pride thing, I'm just not comfortable paying some guy strangers heaps of $$$ to talk about my problems. Best of luck.
 

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
Two short arses already! I'm just jesting on the cliche, I'm 5'9". It doesn't have anything to do with it at all because it's an intensified aspect of my old man who's 6'1"... always been average height.

There's no point in seeing a specialist because it's not a big issue. I don't get bad with my mates but because I'm sensitive and pick up on small things, sometimes that annoyance comes through and I be honest – which is usually complaining about something. It's probably my worst trait but it never has any issue on my life at all, I don't get angry at uni and probably only experience it once every week.

One example was at departure lounge, sitting there, and this guy comes up and sits right next to me when there were a lot of seats left. He proceeded to breath heavily smack his lips against the inside of his mouth and eat loudly. Needless to say I was boiling. It's just things like that
 

ioppolo

This only ends one way.
Oct 3, 2010
27,263
25,721
Perth
AFL Club
West Coast
Other Teams
Chelsea, OKC Thunder, Scorchers
One example was at departure lounge, sitting there, and this guy comes up and sits right next to me when there were a lot of seats left. He proceeded to breath heavily smack his lips against the inside of his mouth and eat loudly. Needless to say I was boiling. It's just things like that

Stuff like that annoys me greatly as well, and I'm sure pisses off a lot of people :p Time like that is when the iPod comes in handy. Headphones in, outside world off.
 
Aug 11, 2006
33,042
27,534
Perth
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Timberwolves, Crystal Palace
I went to counselling for my issues, pretty similar things were happening to me at 14-20, wasn't sure if the hormones or not, Nowdays im much better at removing myself out of situations. Im lucky i had a pretty level headed dad who probably saved me from a lot more trouble, i got into a school fight and ended up kicking a guy on the ground after i had punched him and knocked him out pretty cold. This came from throwing paper at me on a bus.

I was very lucky however it really didnt lead me into the drop kick criminal record where working as a brickie was the pinnicle of what i could achieve

I had an issue where i was looking to be in a bit of strife for an assault charge and resisting arrest, it came from an old girlfriend who cheated on me and then dumped me during the week, and i got pretty drunk come friday looking back i probably just wanted to get into a fight. Did not go to court, resisting arrest was dropped for counselling, through mediation the bloke dropped the assault charge. Pretty humbling

I still get very angry and emotional about stuff, however ive managed to stop any violent lashing out or saying the wrong things, still struggle with some issues (i manage about 8-9 workers who are all 18-23 and it's probably not the best situation for me). I let the guys know i can do stupid things and end up saying sorry for saying some snide things in anger. I tend not to drink unless im with 6-7 mates and in a good mood or else i can get a bit aggressive at people.

Oh and i also got into a push/shove with some development coach for the perth demons when i was 15 and booted straight out, Same thing for a local basketball district team with a team-mate.
 

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
delirious1 that sounds a bit like me. In high school I remember just hitting people without much thought. Or if there was, I thought it was the right response. A guy was constantly belittling me and one day when we were on the bus for phys ed, he was camel biting people. I remember he did it two or three times to me – I jumped over and hit him about six times straight in the head. Luckily I'm weak as the proverbial and so nothing serious happened. Years earlier at Country Week some kid did something similar and I got into the same situation – kind of just on top of him needing a mate to drag me off. The worst I got was hitting someone, again out of something related to sport, and made them get a few stitches in their lip.

In all honesty this probably stems from just not appreciating being treated poorly and maybe that's a character issue – I'm guessing your scenarios came from feeling let down, cheated, or made to look like a prick?

Thankfully it's never gotten very serious and my parents have been the same, usually pretty harshly telling me to mature and get over it. But yeah, that brooding anger certainly affects me in a way it doesn't for other people. I'm not even a loudmouth, it's just who I am. Lately I've been able to realise the after effects of getting too angry so I tend to huff off, stop talking, and internalise it. It does come down to looking like a sook, killing the mood, or saying something hurtful but the issue with me is I maintain being thin-skinned doesn't help but that they should kind of realise the person I am.

Probably why I don't get lonely either. And see the worst in people. Except chicks.
 
Last edited:

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
Well I shamefully snapped on Sunday night. About a hundred bucks later my mate's door is now fixed. I felt ashamed and so, so embarrassed. But now there's a real calmness in my life. I'm not letting the trivialities bank up anymore but at the same time, abusing someone else's property and putting a dampener on a night out is not an appropriate way to get it all out. I just feel seriously bad and embarrassed and because I'm a guilty person, the damage to the door will be a bit of a thing for me even though it's fixed... but hopefully it's gone now.
 

EasternTiger

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 15, 2007
7,914
11,539
Socialist Leper Colony
AFL Club
Richmond
I'd suggest working on your personality, so innocent people don't have to suffer needlessly and develop indigestion when you're around. Go to the library and borrow a copy of How To Win Friends and Influence People.
 

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
I'd suggest working on your personality, so innocent people don't have to suffer needlessly and develop indigestion when you're around. Go to the library and borrow a copy of How To Win Friends and Influence People.
That's the worst thing I've ever done drunk and I've been going out twice weekly for three years.

I'm an extremely emotional person, fairly volatile too. Alcohol just intensifies everything. Usually I'll get drunk and just talk smack all night, have a laugh, and be engaging and light-hearted. I've never been in a scrap pissed before. No one would say I'm a bad drunk. I realise it was a massive, embarrassing mistake. I called my dad a few times about it and he's my harshest critic when I do dumb things and assured me there was nothing up. I am tough on myself and it was just a one-off. I know that.
 

Stratton_Gun

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 4, 2010
17,944
15,737
Melbourne
AFL Club
Hawthorn
Other Teams
Manchester United
Apart from when I'm watching footy/ playing FIFA, I'm probably the most laid back guy you'll ever meet. Hardly ever get angry for some reason. I guess we're all different
 

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
Apart from when I'm watching footy/ playing FIFA, I'm probably the most laid back guy you'll ever meet. Hardly ever get angry for some reason. I guess we're all different
I actually never get jealous or lonely, the latter usually happening only when I'm drunk and find myself losing my mates or doing worse with women than I expected. Funnily enough the most chilled people I know are the ones who seem to experience those two things a bit, which isn't a dig and by no means a truth, just an observation. Most people seem almost unable to register certain emotions or they do so really rarely.
 

Engimal

Cancelled
10k Posts North Melbourne - 2018 Luke Davies-Uniacke and Paul Ahern Player Sponsor Pantskyle Minecraft Shiny Penny Ruby
Apr 27, 2010
11,237
16,193
Tasmania
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Find something to release aggression. I was an angry kid like you were (still am a kid, to some extent ;) ) but as soon as I found music and guitar, I've become much more reserved in how I act and don't feel the anger building up anymore. Try boxing. It might sound like the clichéd option to release some anger, but I've heard from mates that it works wonders.
 

DardySingh360

Premiership Player
Mar 16, 2011
4,921
5,371
WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Arsenal
I'm a little bit the same, I never really express it in a physical matter but I'm definitely a very emotional person.

Recently, (well last 3 or 4 months) I fell very deeply in love with this girl, and you know, everything about her just seemed perfect, we talked non stop etc. I'm sure we've all been there. Anyway, she did like me, probably not to the same extent but she definitely liked me back. Anyway, for whatever reason it didn't work out which was pretty soul destroying. At the time I was working as a pizza delivery driver, and for about two weeks I'd just drive around while at work absolutely seething, just beating myself up about it all and getting very depressed really. When I was driving around doing deliveries the smallest thing would just push me off the absolute edge, be it an idiot driver or somebody taking forever to answer the door on a delivery, I'd just lose it in my head.

Thankfully I talked to someone about it (ironically it was her) and managed to get a hold of myself. I still like her, a lot, but the fact I'm not with her doesn't occupy my mind all the time now. Heaven forbid if/when she gets a new boyfriend though...
 

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
Thankfully I talked to someone about it (ironically it was her) and managed to get a hold of myself. I still like her, a lot, but the fact I'm not with her doesn't occupy my mind all the time now. Heaven forbid if/when she gets a new boyfriend though...
Interesting. I had something similar that's petering out right now. I was seeing and slept with this girl a couple of times who wanted me to get over her ex, and I just wanted her. Probably not yet in love but the limerence I felt was just intense, it soaked up everything and expunged it and it felt profound.

To be simple and obtuse, we'd meet out at the pub or this club and she'd treat me really poorly, desert my feelings and render them as redundant so long as she was happy. She was a terrible, self-involved, ignorant a-hole in all honesty. But in all honesty, I could never actually feel angry. I never had the desire to hit some prick flirting with her. The closest I got was dragging her to the beer garden and laying down some home truths and telling her how her actions made me feel.

It's interesting because she's moved onto some pig-looking bloke who also simultaneously resembles one of those snub nosed monkeys. I don't feel jealousy, I've never gotten jealousy towards my friends, I've never felt that hate and envy that most people feel, which is probably an anomaly for an emotional person. I know guys less or as emotional who'll call girls from 18 months ago at 4am drunk, who'll keep texting them, who won't stop pestering them, who'll send them clingy and scary messages... I never feel that at all, and in fact, actually kind of enjoy the emotional response I get from these girls – it makes me angry but it makes me laugh too, it doesn't make my teeth grit, breath heavy, and feel that intense hate. When I feel that is usually in more innocuous situations. It's never from girls. Which is probably the thing I'm most happy about.
 
Two short arses already! I'm just jesting on the cliche, I'm 5'9". It doesn't have anything to do with it at all because it's an intensified aspect of my old man who's 6'1"... always been average height.

There's no point in seeing a specialist because it's not a big issue. I don't get bad with my mates but because I'm sensitive and pick up on small things, sometimes that annoyance comes through and I be honest – which is usually complaining about something. It's probably my worst trait but it never has any issue on my life at all, I don't get angry at uni and probably only experience it once every week.

One example was at departure lounge, sitting there, and this guy comes up and sits right next to me when there were a lot of seats left. He proceeded to breath heavily smack his lips against the inside of his mouth and eat loudly. Needless to say I was boiling. It's just things like that

this is a serious question; do you get hungry quickly and have to need to eat like the mars bar ads?
 

Silent Alarm

sack Lyon
10k Posts
Jul 9, 2010
24,163
26,535
AFL Club
Fremantle
this is a serious question; do you get hungry quickly and have to need to eat like the mars bar ads?
Not at all, still growing though so I eat a bit but no one would say "oh now you mention it, he does eat a lot..." It doesn't calm me down or anything either.
 

DardySingh360

Premiership Player
Mar 16, 2011
4,921
5,371
WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Arsenal
Aight, so I ain't calm no more...

Tonight I went and got a maccas feed and sent out a ******* pointless snapchat with the caption 'midnight maccas run', anyway I send it to a majority of my friends including said girl above. When I get home I realise i've got a snap back from her, its a picture of a guy who she's obviously with tonight, with no shirt on, with the camera low and facing him. The caption; "midnight snacks". I'm ******* furious, absolutely livid... How the hell is she trying to make me feel?

Had to send myself to bed to avoid lashing out, * me...
 

nicky

Brownlow Medallist
Apr 13, 2005
27,615
4,040
Melbourne
AFL Club
Sydney
Other Teams
Crystal palace, socceroos
I can't relate SA.
Things that have helped me are understanding the source of my anger and dealing with that.*
Meditation
Yoga
Shamanic breathing (seriously look into this)


*If you have anger bubbling away then it probably has something to do with your parents and upbringing. Look into that and deal with it appropriately :)
 
Aug 3, 2006
1,983
310
Beside your Mum
AFL Club
Fremantle
Interesting. I had something similar that's petering out right now. I was seeing and slept with this girl a couple of times who wanted me to get over her ex, and I just wanted her. Probably not yet in love but the limerence I felt was just intense, it soaked up everything and expunged it and it felt profound.

To be simple and obtuse, we'd meet out at the pub or this club and she'd treat me really poorly, desert my feelings and render them as redundant so long as she was happy. She was a terrible, self-involved, ignorant a-hole in all honesty. But in all honesty, I could never actually feel angry. I never had the desire to hit some prick flirting with her. The closest I got was dragging her to the beer garden and laying down some home truths and telling her how her actions made me feel.

It's interesting because she's moved onto some pig-looking bloke who also simultaneously resembles one of those snub nosed monkeys. I don't feel jealousy, I've never gotten jealousy towards my friends, I've never felt that hate and envy that most people feel, which is probably an anomaly for an emotional person. I know guys less or as emotional who'll call girls from 18 months ago at 4am drunk, who'll keep texting them, who won't stop pestering them, who'll send them clingy and scary messages... I never feel that at all, and in fact, actually kind of enjoy the emotional response I get from these girls – it makes me angry but it makes me laugh too, it doesn't make my teeth grit, breath heavy, and feel that intense hate. When I feel that is usually in more innocuous situations. It's never from girls. Which is probably the thing I'm most happy about.

I need to learn some of this.
 
Aug 3, 2006
1,983
310
Beside your Mum
AFL Club
Fremantle
Aight, so I ain't calm no more...

Tonight I went and got a maccas feed and sent out a ******* pointless snapchat with the caption 'midnight maccas run', anyway I send it to a majority of my friends including said girl above. When I get home I realise i've got a snap back from her, its a picture of a guy who she's obviously with tonight, with no shirt on, with the camera low and facing him. The caption; "midnight snacks". I'm ******* furious, absolutely livid... How the hell is she trying to make me feel?

Had to send myself to bed to avoid lashing out, **** me...

That's a fairly low thing to do. I'm guessing you guys had a less than amicable split?
 

DardySingh360

Premiership Player
Mar 16, 2011
4,921
5,371
WA
AFL Club
Fremantle
Other Teams
Arsenal
That's a fairly low thing to do. I'm guessing you guys had a less than amicable split?


It's a bit odd, I mean we're still really good friends, the above was thankfully a massive misinterpretation on my behalf, apparently it was just a male friend of hers. She was with all her other friends as well
 
Back