Annoying Grammar

[Bomber Spirit]

In case some of you don't know, here's how to write good:

1. Subject and verb always has to agree.
2. When dangling, watch your participles.
3. Do not use a foreign term when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
4. If you must use a foreign term, it is de rigour to spell it correctly.
5. It behoves the writer to avoid archaic expressions.
6. Do not use hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
7. Mixed metaphors are unstable foundations for flights of fancy.
8. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
9. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
10. Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.
11. Don't use tautological pleonasms.
12. Don't repeat yourself and avoid being repetitive.
13. Puns are for children, not for readers who are groan.
14. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. Proofread carefully to see if you have any words out
17. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
18. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
19. Avoid colloquial stuff.
20. No sentence fragments.
21. Always finish what you sta
22. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
23. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
24. Employ the vernacular.
25. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
26. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
27. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
28. Contractions aren't necessary.
29. One should never generalise.
30. "Don't use unattributed quotations"
31. Avoid quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
32. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
33. Never use two words where a single expression will do.
34. Be more or less specific.
35. Understatement is always best.
36. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
37. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
38. The passive voice is to be avoided.
39. Who needs rhetorical questions?
40. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
41. It is recommended that measures should be taken to ensure that the length of sentences is not excessive and that the complexity of said sentences is reduced.
42. Refrain from being indirect.
43. Never insult the bunch of morons that make up your readership.
44. Abstraction is to be avoided.
45. The writer should not annoy half of his readers by using gender-specific language.
46. The recommendation is for the use of verbs rather than nouns.
47. Spelling chequers all ways get it write.
48. Finally ... Always cite the sources of any material you have lifted.

 

[The Hitman]

oH, tHiS aNnOyS mE tOo.

ThE hItMaN

 

[Desredandwhite]

I blame my frequent watching of Ali G. I iz well ****ed dat a bruvver like him iz making us talk dis way, aiii?

 

[mattyc2422]

one m, two r's

Ya got me there happy_in_hell.

I'll just go crawl back to Grade 1 English now.....

 

[hotpie]

Originally posted by Bomber Spirit
In case some of you don't know, here's how to write good:

1. Subject and verb always has to agree.
2. When dangling, watch your participles.
3. Do not use a foreign term when there is an adequate English quid pro quo.
4. If you must use a foreign term, it is de rigour to spell it correctly.
5. It behoves the writer to avoid archaic expressions.
6. Do not use hyperbole; not one writer in a million can use it effectively.
7. Mixed metaphors are unstable foundations for flights of fancy.
8. Placing a comma between subject and predicate, is not correct.
9. Parenthetical words however should be enclosed in commas.
10. Consult the dictionary frequently to avoid mispelling.
11. Don't use tautological pleonasms.
12. Don't repeat yourself and avoid being repetitive.
13. Puns are for children, not for readers who are groan.
14. Use the apostrophe in it's proper place and omit it when its not needed.
15. Don't use no double negatives.
16. Proofread carefully to see if you have any words out
17. Hopefully, you will use words correctly, irregardless of how others use them.
18. Never use a long word when a diminutive one will do.
19. Avoid colloquial stuff.
20. No sentence fragments.
21. Always finish what you sta
22. Prepositions are not words to end sentences with.
23. Avoid clichés like the plague. (They're old hat.)
24. Employ the vernacular.
25. Eschew ampersands & abbreviations, etc.
26. Parenthetical remarks (however relevant) are unnecessary.
27. It is wrong to ever split an infinitive.
28. Contractions aren't necessary.
29. One should never generalise.
30. "Don't use unattributed quotations"
31. Avoid quotations. As Ralph Waldo Emerson said, "I hate quotations. Tell me what you know."
32. Comparisons are as bad as clichés.
33. Never use two words where a single expression will do.
34. Be more or less specific.
35. Understatement is always best.
36. One-word sentences? Eliminate.
37. Analogies in writing are like feathers on a snake.
38. The passive voice is to be avoided.
39. Who needs rhetorical questions?
40. Exaggeration is a billion times worse than understatement.
41. It is recommended that measures should be taken to ensure that the length of sentences is not excessive and that the complexity of said sentences is reduced.
42. Refrain from being indirect.
43. Never insult the bunch of morons that make up your readership.
44. Abstraction is to be avoided.
45. The writer should not annoy half of his readers by using gender-specific language.
46. The recommendation is for the use of verbs rather than nouns.
47. Spelling chequers all ways get it write.
48. Finally ... Always cite the sources of any material you have lifted. [/QUOTE

Classic.

 

[mandy]

Originally posted by Rohan_
Just on teachers...

The quality of teaching in Victoria is a disgrace!

Not everywhere. I had parent/teacher interviews tonight and was told my daughter is a genius. Now that's one smart teacher.

 

[-PC28-]

There's an ad for insurance on the radio at the moment, and he says the phone number...

13 blah blah Aleven Aleven

IT'S ELEVEN

Get it right ********. If you're on radio, you think you'd be able to pronounce it right

 

[Harry]

I've always been annoyed by the incorrect use of apostrophes.
eg: I bought some banana's

An apostrophe is used to indicate posession (Tom's house)
or to replace one or more letters (haven't = have not).

When I see cappucino's and foccacia's on the special's blackboard at a local cafe, I feel the urge to erase the board and tell them to correct it.

 

[skilts]

The purpose of language is to communicate. No matter how mangled the syntax, spelling or grammar, if the message is delivered, it has achieved its purpose.

Let's not be so precious. Not everyone has the advantage of the education evident in these complaints about language use. What do we do, exclude those who don't meet some imagined standard of grammar from this discourse?

 

[Harry]

Here are a few annoying spoken words:

youse or you's
aks - let me aks youse a question
nucular - what the hell is a nucular weapon?
irregardless
miyon - Eddie, the word is million

 

[Docker_Brat]

Originally posted by The Hitman
oH, tHiS aNnOyS mE tOo.

ThE hItMaN

cApZ LoQ tEKnEeK i5 1337

 

[Dan26]

Originally posted by Rohan_
Just on teachers...

The quality of teaching in Victoria is a disgrace!

My mum's a teacher actually (and a very good one), but the problem lies with the pathetic salary they receive.

Teachers more than any other people in any other profession do what they do for the love of the job - not for money. But, plenty of potentially capable ones are not interested in it as a career, because they won't make enough to earn a decent living.

 

[Eagle_Fan]

Originally posted by Dan26


My mum's a teacher actually (and a very good one), but the problem lies with the pathetic salary they receive.

Teachers more than any other people in any other profession do what they do for the love of the job - not for money. But, plenty of potentially capable ones are not interested in it as a career, because they won't make enough to earn a decent living.

And the brighter students that are actually interested in teaching are turned towards other more high profile careers, almost as though teaching is below them just because their marks were high. My folks are both teachers of 30+ years, and can't believe the state their profession is in.... Until they increase the appeal (ie $$$) of teaching as a career, the more capable students just wont be interested. (As an example, a colleague of my mums was teaching TEE discrete maths and Physics, when she herself had failed both during her own TEE... it's a joke. You've got teachers teaching subjects that they themselves don't understand, they only know 'what to teach'.)

*sigh* Glad I'm out of it all anyway......

EF.

But that's off topic.... stupid abbreviations, grammatical shortcuts and repeated errors are what annoy me. Oh, and the term "pfffft".

 

[The Hitman]

Originally posted by Eagle_Fan
Oh, and the term "pfffft".

Meh.

The Hitman

 

[Still Crowing]

Originally posted by Hurricane75
It really really annoys me when people pronounce the country we live in as Austraya. Its AustraLIA damn it!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Hello a former Australian Cricketer named Mark Taylor!!
My number one pet hate also!!!!

Is it a lisp, or can he not just say the letter 'L'

In spoken language, I really hate umm-ing arrr-ing and the like. People, think first, then talk. You'll get better results. I find that learning a foreign language helps for this. Just like when you are not confident in your new language, as I am not, imagine yourself searching for the correct words before you speak, but for English.

For the detractors claiming that this is a waste of time, and we should stop picking on people, think about this. When you speak/write in public, if you make errors, people will concentrate on those errors, not the message that you are trying to get across. We all hate being ignored, so why make the effort to get a message out there, and not care if people can understand it?

 

[Falchoon]

One of Big footy's newer members is called Princess Park, I wonder if that is anywhere near the Princess Highway?

 

[Squeak]

The worst is when teenyboppers use but at the end of a sentence. I never do it but.

 

[oh_my_hat]

One thing I have noticed from our American friends (not the one who post here) is using:

"are" instead of "our" - happens regularly and
"do" instead of "due"

perhaps this is just an accent thing and whilst not correct grammar it is understandable.

 

[Hurricane75]

Originally posted by oh_my_hat
One thing I have noticed from our American friends (not the one who post here) is using:

"are" instead of "our" - happens regularly and
"do" instead of "due"

perhaps this is just an accent thing and whilst not correct grammar it is understandable.

Yes thats just an accent thing. Generally Americans pronounce things how they are spelt, so it that respect WE don't make much sense.

We say ca'r'n't they say can't
we say cah they say car (except Boston where they also say cah)
They say derby we say darby (although i'm Victorian I say derby cuz darby sounds crap)

They generally pronounce all the letters correctly which I prefer. Australians tend to skip letters and kind of have a lazy accent. Our accents annoy the hell out of me sometimes because it can sound so uneducated.

 

[oh_my_hat]

Originally posted by Hurricane75


Yes thats just an accent thing. Generally Americans pronounce things how they are spelt, so it that respect WE don't make much sense.

We say ca'r'n't they say can't
we say cah they say car (except Boston where they also say cah)
They say derby we say darby (although i'm Victorian I say derby cuz darby sounds crap)

They generally pronounce all the letters correctly which I prefer. Australians tend to skip letters and kind of have a lazy accent. Our accents annoy the hell out of me sometimes because it can sound so uneducated.

The only problem (in my example) is that the words they are incorrectly using have different meanings to those intended.

 

[aggels]

Another americanism, which I don't know the grammatical rule to.

"I'll write you"

Is that gramatically correct? My instinct says no, but I can't quite put my finger on why, perhaps because I'll write you means to me that they'll literally write the word "you".

 

[Brett Li]

Originally posted by aggels
Another americanism, which I don't know the grammatical rule to.

"I'll write you"

Is that gramatically correct? My instinct says no, but I can't quite put my finger on why, perhaps because I'll write you means to me that they'll literally write the word "you".

correct, it lacks a preposition

 

[Bulldog1954]

Originally posted by Danny Chook Fan Club
[Bdiscombobulate [/B]

You stole my word

 

[vanders]

Originally posted by Docker_Brat

Actually, it makes a person appear unintelligent and/or ignorant.

I'm sure the Carlton Cheer Squad agree with your comments though. Well if they don't, they 'shuold'.

hehe!! it worked!!




they did it for publicity!!

 

[vanders]

ok, well you can't really call this a grammar thing, but what really irritates me is when people use these stupid little phrases:

LOL
LMFAO
ROFL

and so on.....i can handle hehe!! or haha!! but those above things just hit a nerve or something, i cant stand them.