Beauty & Style Awkward Flirting Stories - Part 2

Apr 1, 2007
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Can't believe people believe this Jordan campaigner is telling the truth.

He's taking the piss peeps.
Ok, yeah, I sit here and say to myself "hmm, what imaginary stories can I come up with for a bigfooty post today".

Your a pleb.. I came in here with an actual flirting story and the princesses of this section decided to derail the thread.

So foh here
 
Ok, yeah, I sit here and say to myself "hmm, what imaginary stories can I come up with for a bigfooty post today".

Your a pleb.. I came in here with an actual flirting story and the princesses of this section decided to derail the thread.

So foh here
Unless you count flirting with the law, that wasn't a flirting story.
 
Feb 19, 2016
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Unless you count flirting with the law, that wasn't a flirting story.
So I got caught for speeding and a female police officer came to my window. She asked if I knew I was speeding. I said, "Not as fast as our hearts are now that we've found each other." I copped a fine and an overnight visit for that.





I'm lying. I don't have a licence. Or a car.
 
Can't believe people believe this Jordan campaigner is telling the truth.

He's taking the piss peeps.

Nah he is full on gangsta, believe he is the same dickhead that has threatened to bash people on the Video Games board, super tough.
 
Nov 10, 2013
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Hell no
So I got caught for speeding and a female police officer came to my window. She asked if I knew I was speeding. I said, "Not as fast as our hearts are now that we've found each other." I copped a fine and an overnight visit for that.





I'm lying. I don't have a licence. Or a car.
i was driving the other day and a cop behind me flashed his lights - so I sped off and drove for about 5 mins well over the speed limit. I decided to stop. The officer came to my window and said 'what the hell you doing? speeding off like that' to which I replied ' sorry officer, you see 5 years ago my wife left me for a cop and I thought it was him trying to bring her back'
 
Unless your comprehension skills are that of a first grader then I don't know how you can't understand how it was a flirting story you muppet
Does this mean your flirting is of a first grader level then?
 
Your a pleb as well, I've only had problems with racists and old white pricks on this site.

You must fall into one of those categories too

*You're
 
ok - disclaimer, I'm telling this to get the thread rolling again

had a 3rd date with a nice girl on Friday night. we had a meal and a couple of drinks at a pub on Sydney rd, conversation was flowing, but being a Friday night, we were both pretty tired from a week of work. add in a couple of dinner time beers for both of us, and it's nearly bedtime for us both. we go back to my place, and I would have been ok leaving it there. she had other plans and to say that she got her second wind would be a complete understatement

light kissing, turns into full on pashing, which quickly brings about the removal of clothing - specifically hers. giggidy - dips is about to get some - go dips!

so after a hasty dash to the bedroom, in which items of clothing were nonchalantly thrown about everywhere, we're both in bed. only one item of clothing remaining, which is my underwear. at this stage, I'm pretty much ready to go, but insist on a bit of foreplay for her at least, you know, because I'm a gentleman and everything. I do what I do and head south of the border and say gday to the man in the boat. we're getting pretty heavily acquainted, building up a good head (hehe) of steam, she's telling me to keep going, I'm more than happy to oblige. I'm pretty happy with the way things are going

without warning - she farts

then proceeds to run up from my bed and makes a mad dash for my toilet

at this stage, having just received a mouthful of fart, I'm trying not to heave everywhere. you know that scene from the beginning of Saving Private Ryan where the gunfight has ended, and people are walking around aimlessly, some picking up body parts etc - I know how they feel now. I had no idea what the * I could do after that. I'm just in shock

after a few mins, she reappears and apologises profusely, and says she needs to go. she gets dressed and leaves

we've not spoken since
 
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