Beauty & Style Awkward Flirting Stories - Part 2

[Neese]

It's cool. Go get one and flirt with it

 

[Plugger35]

For my small penis.

#subtlebrag

 

[Billy ray]

ok - disclaimer, I'm telling this to get the thread rolling again

had a 3rd date with a nice girl on Friday night. we had a meal and a couple of drinks at a pub on Sydney rd, conversation was flowing, but being a Friday night, we were both pretty tired from a week of work. add in a couple of dinner time beers for both of us, and it's nearly bedtime for us both. we go back to my place, and I would have been ok leaving it there. she had other plans and to say that she got her second wind would be a complete understatement

light kissing, turns into full on pashing, which quickly brings about the removal of clothing - specifically hers. giggidy - dips is about to get some - go dips!

so after a hasty dash to the bedroom, in which items of clothing were nonchalantly thrown about everywhere, we're both in bed. only one item of clothing remaining, which is my underwear. at this stage, I'm pretty much ready to go, but insist on a bit of foreplay for her at least, you know, because I'm a gentleman and everything. I do what I do and head south of the border and say gday to the man in the boat. we're getting pretty heavily acquainted, building up a good head (hehe) of steam, she's telling me to keep going, I'm more than happy to oblige. I'm pretty happy with the way things are going

without warning - she farts

then proceeds to run up from my bed and makes a mad dash for my toilet

at this stage, having just received a mouthful of fart, I'm trying not to heave everywhere. you know that scene from the beginning of Saving Private Ryan where the gunfight has ended, and people are walking around aimlessly, some picking up body parts etc - I know how they feel now. I had no idea what the **** I could do after that. I'm just in shock

after a few mins, she reappears and apologises profusely, and says she needs to go. she gets dressed and leaves

we've not spoken since

After getting her second wind, seems she got her third too!

 

[pantskyle]

Not colossus then?

I'm living an internet lie.

 

[Neese]

You just have to use your other talents then

 

[craigos]

You just have to use your other talents then

Not sure talking s**t on an internet forum turns the ladies into niagra falls.

 

[Shell]

why is having a small mouth a good thing?

I'm gonna guess a closer tighter er- suction? Idk.. I would have thought having a big mouth would be better, ie like Julia Roberts.

 

[Smoooothy]

I'm gonna guess a closer tighter er- suction? Idk.. I would have thought having a big mouth would be better, ie like Julia Roberts.

I'm not sure how to say what I'm going to say without coming across all crowy like

I've always found the smaller mouths can't do that for anywhere near as long because lips/mouth/jaw start to hurt - in saying that, I only have 1 small mouthed girl to go on

 

[craigos]

These guys must be king of the bj in that case.

 

[the_interloper]

Not sure talking s**t on an internet forum turns the ladies into niagra falls.

Mofra your thoughts?

 

[Mofra]

Mofra your thoughts?

Pretty sure our resident 'man sans nomenclature' spends a lot of time following around baes online, yet despite sickeningly sycophantic replies to everything they tweet he is still sans woman.

 

[the_interloper]

Pretty sure our resident 'man sans nomenclature' spends a lot of time following around baes online, yet despite sickeningly sycophantic replies to everything they tweet he is still sans woman.

It's hard to understand, you'd reckon that would work. I secretly hope it will one day and rattles us all one day taking selfies with DJ Big ****!

 

[pantskyle]

I'm gonna guess a closer tighter er- suction? Idk.. I would have thought having a big mouth would be better, ie like Julia Roberts.

Big lips.

 

[Mofra]

It's hard to understand, you'd reckon that would work. I secretly hope it will one day and rattles us all one day taking selfies with DJ Big ****!

a. I've seen his camera work, he'd screw up the shot
b. His **** are bigger than hers (probably due to all the nuggs)

 

[pantskyle]

Not sure talking s**t on an internet forum turns the ladies into niagra falls.

You'd be surprised.

 

[craigos]

You'd be surprised.

Surprise me.

 

[Smoooothy]

Pretty sure our resident 'man sans nomenclature' spends a lot of time following around baes online, yet despite sickeningly sycophantic replies to everything they tweet he is still sans woman.

so crowy didn't have a GF either!?

I am shocked and appalled he would lie like that, on the internet of all places!

 

[pantskyle]

Surprise me.

Well for starters I'm a very well off lawyer and have several properties, I am also a part owner of a very successful pub, some days I even help out cleaning the dishes, it gives me a feeling of being common.

 

[Gough]

I like getting to the point too, but there is such a thing as being tactful and these filterless, brutally honest folk usually just come across as aspies.

The problem with people who call themselves brutally honest is that they tend not to be able to cope all that well when others do likewise to them.

 

[the_interloper]

The problem with people who call themselves brutally honest is that they tend not to be able to cope all that well when others do likewise to them.

Truth. Being "brutally honest" is often an excuse for being rude and not accepting the consequences of that.

 

[TheFreshBanana]

people who say this about themselves are people you want to avoid hanging around with TBH
along with people who describe themselves as 'brutally honest'

I describe myself as both.

Not sure what the problem is with having no filter, but being honest you do need a bit of decorum and empathy.

Need to know when to be honest and when to just let things slide. A friend of mine knows she can come to me for opinions because she knows I'll be honest, and I take that as a compliment.

 

[CJApples87]

I describe myself as both.

Not sure what the problem is with having no filter, but being honest you do need a bit of decorum and empathy.

Need to know when to be honest and when to just let things slide. A friend of mine knows she can come to me for opinions because she knows I'll be honest, and I take that as a compliment.

So you do have a filter then.


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[TheFreshBanana]

So you do have a filter then.


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No.

Having a filter means you find certain topics taboo and avoid talking about them.

If we were to say, does everything that enters my mind through out of my mouth have no filter? No it wouldn't, but it would be a lot less comparitively.

 

[chunkylover53]

Calling bullshit.

Chicks don't fart nor s**t.

Next.


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[Smoooothy]

Calling bullshit.

Chicks don't fart.

Next.


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I was an embarrassing age before I found out this was false