KohPhi
Brownlow Medallist
- Jul 24, 2015
- 23,372
- 94,101
- AFL Club
- Carlton
Howdy lads... It's "Coffee with KohPhi" time again and in this episode I'm catching up with our resident "quiet achiever", arrowman. I'm heading to arrowman's market garden that he runs when not being a Qooty superstar. Ok, here I am..
K- hello friend, sorry to bother you, is arrowman here?
Old farmhand- yes mate...He is relaxing in the farmhouse. Just head in.
K- cheers old utensil..
K- Ok heading to the farmhouse.. ill just burst in and surprise him..
K- IM HERE ARROWBABY!! Oh s**t ARROWMAN!!!.... who would have thought!!!!!!!
A- Hey KohPhi!! How are you mate!
K- I'm good bloke, not as good as you by the looks of it...jeez mate, it's always the quiet ones... anyway, welcome arrowman, it's great to have a chat with you mate.. Firstly, how did you find your way to the Bombers in the SFA? Tell us a bit about the arrowman story.
A- After the SFA Tour of Bigfooty came to the Adelaide board, I got a PM from someone called HeroMan - I think it was - offering me virgins and untold riches to sign up with the Bombers. When I saw the pics that were attached, I was a bit creeped out. Then I realised I was confusing it with a PM from another forum I am a member of.
I’ve kept that PM as a special memory. Actually, I don’t know how to delete PMs on Bigfooty, so there it stays.
K- It seems you have found your virgins there arrow!!
A- ummm.... not after last night K!
K- The Bombers have had a decent influx of rookies this season, you along with George, Tony Lynn15, The Coach16, The SuperRookie have all played significant roles in helping the Bombers move up the ladder. What have you enjoyed about being a Qootballer so far?
A- The SFA is a great outlet. I talk a lot less s**t to my wife these days. She thinks it’s because she’s got me better trained. So we’ll leave it that way.
The SFA community welcomes rookies in a way that Bay 13 doesn’t. You don’t get flamed for a weak post. It doesn’t matter if you don’t know what an EKA is, or a Mobbs, or who sterge is. Posters pick up on a good theme and run with it. Your “potential” gets a mention (which is admittedly pretty weird when it comes from someone with miggs’ avatar).
The SFA is my Safe Space.
* sniff * Thanks for listening to that without sfellowing Kho Phi, you’re a gent.
- Oh, and there’s the boob gifs.
K- It's fair to say your approach has been a 'low key" affair.. the match thread may be going along nicely then BANG! 25 "likes" later and the mighty arrowman has entered the fray. How would you describe your posting style?
A- Oh, I’m a **** liker, no doubt. And I mean that in both senses. And when you’ve got burningdwarf liking the crap out of every thread, you feel obliged to return the favour.
I guess I’m a burst poster but I need to work on my endurance. And having a life doesn’t help. I’ve been a bit less active lately than I’d like - I’d probably be a better poster if I spent more time drinking at 2am watching Lonely Guy shows on TV.
K- Who do you room with on away trips? Any goss?
A- Now, you know what happens in the en suite at the Hyatt stays in the en suite! Well, at least until the service staff have mopped it up and taken it away.
Our skipper - that Hero guy, I think - likes to mix things up a bit. I roomed with George once - but he didn’t show up. Some sort of retirement gig. One of my worst games came after a night rooming with Tony Lynn 15. My god, the groupies were everywhere. Still and all, even TL15’s castoffs made it a night to remember.
Did I mention Mrs Arrowman doesn’t know about the SFA? She thinks the away games are, er, um - “business trips”.
A- I’m kind of settled with The Coach now. Fine whiskey, dolmades and excellent (and grammatically correct) conversation. And I let him practice his pre-match addresses on me. Hotel staff have only once asked the team to pay for the holes in the wall afterwards. Of course, the whole Mediterranean entire family over for room service and middle-aged ladies kissing “their lovely boy” gets a bit wearing.
I’ve yet to experience a night with the Super Rookie but I don’t think I’m alone there. Some sort of special treatment, but hey, who wants to go solo in the penthouse anyway.
K- 4-0. It was a great start for the Bombers both on the field and off it with plenty of activity. Where has it all gone awry?
A- I guess it’s not surprising for a team loaded with rookies to start fast and fall away. This is a great test for us - we’ve seen what we can achieve together, and we need to get back that free-running, fearless, nothing-to-lose Qooty style that we showed at the start of the season.
K- Baghdad can be an unforgiving place for a newbie. How have you settled in and what do you do to pass the time in this cosmopolitan city of ours?
A- This is where I give a big shout-out to the Bombers’ “Meet, Greet and Tikrit” crew - which I believe Mrs Kho Phi No. 17 set up a few years back after some unsavoury incidents resulting from rookies not knowing the lay of the land (or, indeed, the lay of the locals, if you get my drift). And I think it’s fair to say that you, Kho Phi, have been very generous with your daughters’ time - oh, wait, you didn’t know about that, did you?
K- yes, my daughters are an accomodating lot...
A- I’m a pretty quiet guy really and I appreciate the many cultural diversions. I’ve become a regular at the Kurdish Textile Museum, and the lovely ladies there have allowed me to see some of their very special collections of silk burqhas. You really have to get a torch and put your head in there to fully appreciate the internal stitching.
The al-Fatah-bin-Hump-Toe Camel and Goat Petting Zoo is also a favourite of mine. They have a private pen for VIP visitors such as me.
And there’s the belly dancing. Big fan of belly dancing. Kayoosh “Toosh” al-Shad runs probably the best harem of belly dancers this side of the Tigris.
K- Who have been your favourite opponents so far either team wise or individual poster wise? Why?
A- This is a really hard one to answer. Partly because the first few weeks were a bit of a blur, but mainly because I’m scared of missing an important name (in their own minds, anyway).
I have fond memories of Hooooooooooops because I engaged with him in one of my first back-and-forth banters. OK, I didn’t realize I was being groomed, and my “I’m cleaning the pool” line was entirely innocent - and true to real life - but that was a good warmup for me.
Miggs is someone I’d like to meet IRL.
The Swampies in general - that was possibly the best match thread I’ve seen to date.
K- Which team mates have impressed you the most?
A- I feel an affinity with The Coach, as I’ve said. I like George, he’s a bit weird. TL15 is my “you wish you could be him but you can’t” guy. The Flaming Short One has his Like button stuck down and that’s a good thing for me. And Phenom. No words for him except, perhaps, “confused” (me, that is).
And of course you, Thai Island Guy, and that Hero bloke. You for your excellent support (and daughters - oh, s**t - I said it again) and Hero out of sheer admiration for the s**t he puts up with from the rest of the SFA.
K- Any other BigFooty boards you frequent?
A-The Adelaide board is my BF home, I rarely venture elsewhere (oh well, except when I go to the Port board for a LOL or two). Sometimes I read Bay 13 but not for a long time TBH - not since I’ve found the SFA.
K- Ok mate, as with all my other interviews, ill say something and you say the first thing that comes to your mind..
K-Stir frys or Noodle soups
A-Stir fry, no contest.
K-Pre season at Abdu Prison
A- A testosterone laden, opiate enhanced, goat infested, burqha stripping, camel scaring, bomb throwing, soap dropping festival of fun. Would do it again. Once the scabs have healed.
K-Port Adelaide Football Club
A-LOL
K-Lamb souvlaki or greasy burger after a night out
A-Oh, grease every time. With onions. And bacon. And an egg. And …. Hang on, be right back.
K-Coffee of choice
A-Long Black. Strong. Just a little bitter.
Like a melanin-enhanced version of TL15, I suspect.
K- Beer or wine
A-For sheer volume? Beer. Ales and bitters, none of that craft brewery IPA stuff.
And heavy dark Shiraz (which, we should all know, is in fact a grape of Middle Eastern origin).
K- fantastic work great man! I'll leave you to your "duties" my friend!
A - cheers KohPhi...
