Media Barrybran's Guide to the EKA

[Barrybran]

​

Dear Rookies

Today marks the beginning of your journey through the land of Sweet. Many have come before you, many will come after you, but this time is all about you – the rookie class of Season 27. Each week you will match wits with your opponents in your team’s match thread before battling on the qooty field on Sunday afternoons. After 17 home and away rounds and four weeks of finals, a champion will be crowned and a host of awards will be bestowed upon the league’s best players and posters. You’ll hear words like “Mobbs” and “beez” but one word will be raised whenever rookies are present.

EKA

What on earth does EKA mean? Well I’m glad you asked. At this point in season 26 I didn’t know what EKA meant either. I’d figured out that it was an award of some sort as my Las Vegas Bears teammate, kdavva74 (now Cadaver), was a runaway winner before the season had even begun. As it turns out, the EKA is awarded to the league’s best rookie each season, as voted by captains on a 3-2-1 basis. Captains are on the lookout for a combination of activity in match threads and media, quality of posting and personality*. The winner of the EKA is awarded with an EKA badge.

Welcome S27 rookies​

The EKA is rumoured to come with a curse though. Winners apparently suffer some sort of burnout and go missing. A number of EKA winners are still with us however the curse has claimed some high-profile posters, such as BLERN, who won the S25 EKA and polled very well in the beez trophy that season, joined the Gumbies and went missing two months into the season. It is yet to be determined if BLERN’s absence is a result of the EKA curse, real life factors or the fact that the Gumbies are a dysfunctional shitshow.

So why should I care? Fair question, young rook. I didn’t particularly care about the EKA given that it was a foregone conclusion in season 26. It was just fun to participate in the banter, particularly when rumours surrounding kdavva74’s eligibility arose, sparking an investigation that doubled as BRAB's run at the beez trophy. As the season wore on, rookies such as Nunez and TheInjuryFactory made quality entries into the world of Sweet FA media while other rookies such as Sab22 and Test Tickle were making an impact via match threads and team involvement. The EKA field had well and truly opened up by season’s end*.

Actual footage of BRAB ending Cadaver's EKA dream​

I wound up winning the S26 EKA award by a single vote from my teammate, kdavva74. It’s an honour to be recognised by the league’s captains and have my name forever etched into Sweet FA lore. I also received this sweet badge that I get to rub in Cadaver’s face Every. Single. Week. Look at it, Cadaver. Go on. Do it.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand what the EKA is or if you think someone else will win it. You’re here. You’re involved. Your rookie season is what you make it. Participate in match threads and media, perhaps even write your own media and you, too, could earn yourself an EKA and be recognised as Sweet FA’s next attention-seeking internet whore top rookie for S27. And Dragons, Furies and Gumbies rookies, if you have to stab your teammate in the back to win then all the better!

Good luck!

*May or may not be completely accurate

 

[TJASTA]

Coming soon: TJASTA Guide to the EKA

 

[WaynesWorld19]

Another self promoting, self congratulating thread by Barry .....could you be even less subtle

You’re going to photo bomb every S27 Rookie .... can’t remember any S25 Rookie taking this approach

 

[Yakker]

Not one reference to sausageroll

Amateurs

 

[Tarkyn_24]

Not one reference to sausageroll

Amateurs

Well I mean now there is...

 

[AceAndy]

Coming soon: TJASTA Guide to the EKA

Hopefully a more concise version.

 

[Dav]

Great media piece Barrybran, you're getting there.

 

[Sab22]

And Dragons, Furies and Gumbies rookies, if you have to stab your teammate in the back to win then all the better!

I support this with all my heart.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Barrybran if you want to do short interviews with former EKA winners that are still utterly and completely relevant, drop me a line. And Yakker, and The Half Back.

Just don't call Cadaver, because he didn't win it.

 

[Dav]

Barrybran if you want to do short interviews with former EKA winners that are still utterly and completely relevant, drop me a line. And Yakker, and The Half Back.

Just don't call Cadaver, because he didn't win it.

Expect "Guide To Finishing 4th In The Beez" soon.

 

[Barrybran]

Expect "Guide To Finishing 4th In The Beez" soon.

JoshWoodenSpoon, I've got a great media idea for you...

 

[Dav]

JoshWoodenSpoon, I've got a great media idea for you...

1st is overrated. You become a target. Look at the top 3.

 

[TJASTA]

Barrybran if you want to do short interviews with former EKA winners that are still utterly and completely relevant, drop me a line. And Yakker, and The Half Back.

Just don't call Cadaver, because he didn't win it.

Dude???
WTF

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

1st is overrated. You become

Dude???
WTF

You wot m8?

You're not even in this discussion you garden slug.

 

[TJASTA]

You wot m8?

You're not even in this discussion you garden slug.

You are basically ripping me off. That sounds like the Better Rookie Workshop. Also, don't call me a garden slug you shit corn ****.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

You are basically ripping me off. That sounds like the Better Rookie Workshop. Also, don't call me a garden slug you shit corn ****.

Hey you ****ing puffer fish, this is a thread about the EKA. I gave Baz the chance to talk to EKA WINNERS.

I also mentioned relevance, not out of date chicken twisties like you. Now **** up.

 

[TJASTA]

Hey you ******* puffer fish, this is a thread about the EKA. I gave Baz the chance to talk to EKA WINNERS.

I also mentioned relevance, not out of date chicken twisties like you. Now **** up.

Who is Baz?

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

Who is Baz?

You've slipped further than I originally thought.

 

[TJASTA]

You've slipped further than I originally thought.

**** you are acting odd.

 

[The Half Back]

Barrybran if you want to do short interviews with former EKA winners that are still utterly and completely relevant, drop me a line. And Yakker, and The Half Back.

Just don't call Cadaver, because he didn't win it.

EKA Podcast?

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

EKA Podcast?

Ooooh, I like this.

Maybe half way through the season a bunch of EKA winners get together and do a S27 rookie special.

 

[This Is Anfield]

Ooooh, I like this.

Maybe half way through the season a bunch of "absolute plonkers" get together and do a S27 rookie special.

 

[Elton Johns Wig]

That low brow shit all you got?

 

[This Is Anfield]

That low brow shit all you got?

It's all I'm prepared to give!

 

[TheInjuryFactory]

​

Dear Rookies

Today marks the beginning of your journey through the land of Sweet. Many have come before you, many will come after you, but this time is all about you – the rookie class of Season 27. Each week you will match wits with your opponents in your team’s match thread before battling on the qooty field on Sunday afternoons. After 17 home and away rounds and four weeks of finals, a champion will be crowned and a host of awards will be bestowed upon the league’s best players and posters. You’ll hear words like “Mobbs” and “beez” but one word will be raised whenever rookies are present.

EKA

What on earth does EKA mean? Well I’m glad you asked. At this point in season 26 I didn’t know what EKA meant either. I’d figured out that it was an award of some sort as my Las Vegas Bears teammate, kdavva74 (now Cadaver), was a runaway winner before the season had even begun. As it turns out, the EKA is awarded to the league’s best rookie each season, as voted by captains on a 3-2-1 basis. Captains are on the lookout for a combination of activity in match threads and media, quality of posting and personality*. The winner of the EKA is awarded with an EKA badge.

Welcome S27 rookies​

The EKA is rumoured to come with a curse though. Winners apparently suffer some sort of burnout and go missing. A number of EKA winners are still with us however the curse has claimed some high-profile posters, such as BLERN, who won the S25 EKA and polled very well in the beez trophy that season, joined the Gumbies and went missing two months into the season. It is yet to be determined if BLERN’s absence is a result of the EKA curse, real life factors or the fact that the Gumbies are a dysfunctional shitshow.

So why should I care? Fair question, young rook. I didn’t particularly care about the EKA given that it was a foregone conclusion in season 26. It was just fun to participate in the banter, particularly when rumours surrounding kdavva74’s eligibility arose, sparking an investigation that doubled as BRAB's run at the beez trophy. As the season wore on, rookies such as Nunez and TheInjuryFactory made quality entries into the world of Sweet FA media while other rookies such as Sab22 and Test Tickle were making an impact via match threads and team involvement. The EKA field had well and truly opened up by season’s end*.

Actual footage of BRAB ending Cadaver's EKA dream​

I wound up winning the S26 EKA award by a single vote from my teammate, kdavva74. It’s an honour to be recognised by the league’s captains and have my name forever etched into Sweet FA lore. I also received this sweet badge that I get to rub in Cadaver’s face Every. Single. Week. Look at it, Cadaver. Go on. Do it.

It doesn’t matter if you don’t understand what the EKA is or if you think someone else will win it. You’re here. You’re involved. Your rookie season is what you make it. Participate in match threads and media, perhaps even write your own media and you, too, could earn yourself an EKA and be recognised as Sweet FA’s next attention-seeking internet whore top rookie for S27. And Dragons, Furies and Gumbies rookies, if you have to stab your teammate in the back to win then all the better!

Good luck!

*May or may not be completely accurate

This is like a page straight out of the Patrick Dangerfield book of humility.