Off-topic Bay Survivor 2017 - Good Bloke Island Edition - Congratulations Richoatthedisco!

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Not that the likes of you would know, but the elite schools of Melbourne all have Saturday sport.
Ah a sports "teacher" then.

Do you even need a degree for that, or do you just show up with a whistle and leer at the grade 12 chicks?
 

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Ah a sports "teacher" then.

Do you even need a degree for that, or do you just show up with a whistle and leer at the grade 12 chicks?
That is the main qualification, which is why they need a real teacher, ie. Mr Dubya, to supervise them on Saturday morning. Little do they know that I wouldn't notice any kids getting molested because I spent the whole morning on Big Footy.
 
Challenge #2 entry

Dear Diary,

Some of these campaigners I am stuck on this s**t hole with are really getting on my nerves. That Floyd sack of s**t just tries too hard. * Floyd. Also wondering why JoseMourinho hasn't ****ed off yet, when will he get the message?


Anyway, I have a pretty strong home ground advantage. These fat *s won't be able to give into the temptation of eating the stadium instead of playing the game. Cant wait for my first home game at #Cheese Stadium, I know El Dubya will love it.




images-17.jpg
 
Challenge #2 entry

Dear Diary,

Some of these campaigners I am stuck on this s**t hole with are really getting on my nerves. That Floyd sack of s**t just tries too hard. **** Floyd. Also wondering why JoseMourinho hasn't ****** off yet, when will he get the message?


Anyway, I have a pretty strong home ground advantage. These fat ****s won't be able to give into the temptation of eating the stadium instead of playing the game. Cant wait for my first home game at #Cheese Stadium, I know El Dubya will love it.




View attachment 438210

Pastry is better
 
Challenge #2 entry

Dear Diary,

Some of these campaigners I am stuck on this s**t hole with are really getting on my nerves. That Floyd sack of s**t just tries too hard. **** Floyd. Also wondering why JoseMourinho hasn't ****** off yet, when will he get the message?


Anyway, I have a pretty strong home ground advantage. These fat ****s won't be able to give into the temptation of eating the stadium instead of playing the game. Cant wait for my first home game at #Cheese Stadium, I know El Dubya will love it.




View attachment 438210
is that 4 rows of Avocado?
 
Challenge #2 Entry

Richmond to get new cheat ground

by Have-a-whine Will-shun
Chef Football Waiter

REIGNING premiers Richmond are set to receive a boost in their title defence, with plans to develop a new cheat ground that will give them an unfair advantage over their opponents.

The Aged has learnt the Tigers propose to build a brand new, 100,000-seat stadium within walking distance of the club's training and administrative base at Punt Road Oval. Fully-funded by the State Government and the AFL, the ground will be ready for use by the opening round of the 2018 season.

Features are understood to include:
  • Two LED high-definition scoreboards
  • Seating for 100,000 to fit in all Richmond’s members and frighten visiting supporters
  • Grandstand structure designed to amplify boos and intimidate visiting teams
  • Wide playing surface intended to give Richmond's superior runners an unfair advantage over fat, slow, visiting teams that are overrated due to playing on their own wingless cheat grounds.
The Tigers have struck a favourable deal with the AFL that will see the club play several away games per season at the new ground. All Richmond’s Victorian-based finals will be played there, as will the Grand Final for at least the next 20 years.

The Aged has obtained a copy of the developer's plans for the new stadium, which will be known as The G. Incognito.

G_Incognito.png

Home ground? Who is home ground?
 
Challenge #2 Entry.

"Good afternoon ladies and gentlemen and welcome to the glorious Nth Ballarat oval."

"We have here for auction today prehaps not the finest cheat ground available, or even one of the finest cheat grounds available, but it IS available."

"My clients have instructed me to sell at any pric... errrrrrrrrrrr I mean rarely can we offer an opportunity like this and it's only with great reluctance that the current owners are parting with a cheat ground as desirable as this."

"As you can see it is in a prized location with commanding views over the sewage treatment plant- which Ive been informed is also available for post game recovery sessions."

"The ground itself is magnificent, the steep slope ensures quick drainage and Im sure you will agree the many holes and rocks give it an appeal that most flat monotonous grounds lack."

"The superbly presented grandstand is an engineering masterpiece which has withstood decades of bushfires, building entirely out of asbestos was a stroke of genius I think and testament to the foresight of the original builders."

"The staff consists of a very experienced goal umpire (who is currently on extended leave due to a shoulder injury) and her cat."

"Ill now start the auction with a vendors bid of Thirty five cents.

Thirty five cents...
Do I hear forty?
Thirty five cents I'm bid,
thirty five,
thirty five with me,
thirty five cents...

Going once

Going twice...


SOLD- to LolNorf with a late bid of
One Hundred and Eighteen million dollars."
 
"Challenge #2"

The Cheaterdome (Not Windy Hill)

Our ground is really cheaterific because the opposition players race is flanked by the special needs segment of our supporter base who jeer, boo, foam and dribble when the opposition run out. Nobody can boo jeer and dribble like a **** - case in point, WC fans.

The televisions in the opposition coaches box only play Christopher Pyne clips from question time.

Our roof doesn't close when we play norf, unless it's sunny.

Cows are free to graze in the opposition's forward 50. Cows have rights too.

We have dwarf cheer leaders. They don't have rights. Until we play St Kilda, in which case they get stock whips (not for the cows).

Mick Malthouse is the resident guest speaker and DJ in the opposition changerooms. He's got a PA system and lots of advice for your coaching staff.

Basil Zempilas will commentate all of the games, without his commentary being broadcast in WA.

The water in the opposition changerooms is salted.

Small, highly localised earth tremors are likely when opposition players are lining up for goal.
 

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