Don't blame us, we only write AFL when it's on
by Mike Coleman
Think of this as an open letter to all AFL fans. Just a short one. Six words in all.
Please, folks, shut the heck up.
For about a week anyway. Then you can ring all you like. You can write letters and send e-mails and march up and down outside the front doors of this office burning other journalists in effigy for all I care.
But not now. Now, you just have to sit there. Sweating away in your Lions beanies and Demons scarves and swans jockstraps and other AFL licensed supporters gear, singing the Cats victory song or watching old videos of Plugger Lockett kicking goals and reporters.
Don't ring this newpaper to ask why there isn't any AFL in the sports pages. Don't tell us we've got heaps of rugby league and rugby union and cricket. Don't call us biased or ignorant or out of touch.
Just cop it sweet.
See folks, it works like this. We can't put more AFL in the paper this week because there isn't any.
Those other comps are going. Yours isn't.
Yes, okay, there was a preseason competition, but really, if the Lions players refuse to get involved, why should we?
If you have a complaint about the AFL being played, or the late start to the season, or Tony Liberatore or anything else, ring the AFL.
Contrary to popular belief, we in this office don't run the competition. We don't get together over stale doughnuts and coffee in the canteen every November and say: "Oh by the way, isn't it about time we worked out the draw for next year's AFL?"
Oh nooo. The AFL does that. And they print up the tickets and paint the lines on the field and spray on the umpires' shorts and all that other sort of stuff, too.
What we do is write about it.
When it's on. Which right now it isn't.
It's not because the AFL season runs for 23 weeks - including one split round - as opposed to rugby league which has 26 home-and-away rounds, plus three State of Origin weekends.
Then thre is the present AFL-free zone. There is no AFL this weekend because the AFL Players Association negotiated a one-week break between the end of the Ansett Cup and the start of the permiership as part of their collective bargaining agreement.
Much as it will come as a shock to the dozens of angry AFL fans who ring us daily to complain, THE COURIER MAIL sports department wasn't involved in negotiations.
Not that it seems to worry those callers. Every day they ring. The calls start something like this "Why the $%#@ isn't there more *%$# AFL in the @#!* paper you *&%$F!" And then they degenerate into abuse.
The calls start about 8am and end around ...7.59am the next day. Disgruntled AFL fans obviously stay up late being obsessive, and they think people in authority newspapers do to.
"What's the time? 3.59am. Gee, I'd better ring THE COURIER MAIL sports department to find out why there isn't more AFL in the paper."
It can tend to grate. One of our sub-editors was in hospital recently being treated for hyper tension druing pregnancy.
"And what do you do for a living?" the nurse said pleasantly as she took her blood pressure. When she heard the answer the nurse launched straight in.
"I've got a bone to pick with you," she snarled. "Why isn't there more AFL in the paper?"
The blood pressure went off the scale.
Hopefully that nurse won't be ringing us this week. Hopefully no AFL fans will. Matter of fact, I'll save you all the trouble of even turning to the sports section until next Monday when we print a 56-page AFL liftout.
That should keep you satisfied until about...gee, let's see..56 pages, get the paper at 6am, read thh liftout until 7.45, read the local and world news until 7.48. Five minutes to get grumpy, another five to become obsessive, that means you should start ringing to complain about ...8am.
Guess we'll be hearing from you then.
....as printed in The Courier Mail, Tuesday 20th March 2001. (minus my excessive typing errors of course, sorry bout that folks)
by Mike Coleman
Think of this as an open letter to all AFL fans. Just a short one. Six words in all.
Please, folks, shut the heck up.
For about a week anyway. Then you can ring all you like. You can write letters and send e-mails and march up and down outside the front doors of this office burning other journalists in effigy for all I care.
But not now. Now, you just have to sit there. Sweating away in your Lions beanies and Demons scarves and swans jockstraps and other AFL licensed supporters gear, singing the Cats victory song or watching old videos of Plugger Lockett kicking goals and reporters.
Don't ring this newpaper to ask why there isn't any AFL in the sports pages. Don't tell us we've got heaps of rugby league and rugby union and cricket. Don't call us biased or ignorant or out of touch.
Just cop it sweet.
See folks, it works like this. We can't put more AFL in the paper this week because there isn't any.
Those other comps are going. Yours isn't.
Yes, okay, there was a preseason competition, but really, if the Lions players refuse to get involved, why should we?
If you have a complaint about the AFL being played, or the late start to the season, or Tony Liberatore or anything else, ring the AFL.
Contrary to popular belief, we in this office don't run the competition. We don't get together over stale doughnuts and coffee in the canteen every November and say: "Oh by the way, isn't it about time we worked out the draw for next year's AFL?"
Oh nooo. The AFL does that. And they print up the tickets and paint the lines on the field and spray on the umpires' shorts and all that other sort of stuff, too.
What we do is write about it.
When it's on. Which right now it isn't.
It's not because the AFL season runs for 23 weeks - including one split round - as opposed to rugby league which has 26 home-and-away rounds, plus three State of Origin weekends.
Then thre is the present AFL-free zone. There is no AFL this weekend because the AFL Players Association negotiated a one-week break between the end of the Ansett Cup and the start of the permiership as part of their collective bargaining agreement.
Much as it will come as a shock to the dozens of angry AFL fans who ring us daily to complain, THE COURIER MAIL sports department wasn't involved in negotiations.
Not that it seems to worry those callers. Every day they ring. The calls start something like this "Why the $%#@ isn't there more *%$# AFL in the @#!* paper you *&%$F!" And then they degenerate into abuse.
The calls start about 8am and end around ...7.59am the next day. Disgruntled AFL fans obviously stay up late being obsessive, and they think people in authority newspapers do to.
"What's the time? 3.59am. Gee, I'd better ring THE COURIER MAIL sports department to find out why there isn't more AFL in the paper."
It can tend to grate. One of our sub-editors was in hospital recently being treated for hyper tension druing pregnancy.
"And what do you do for a living?" the nurse said pleasantly as she took her blood pressure. When she heard the answer the nurse launched straight in.
"I've got a bone to pick with you," she snarled. "Why isn't there more AFL in the paper?"
The blood pressure went off the scale.
Hopefully that nurse won't be ringing us this week. Hopefully no AFL fans will. Matter of fact, I'll save you all the trouble of even turning to the sports section until next Monday when we print a 56-page AFL liftout.
That should keep you satisfied until about...gee, let's see..56 pages, get the paper at 6am, read thh liftout until 7.45, read the local and world news until 7.48. Five minutes to get grumpy, another five to become obsessive, that means you should start ringing to complain about ...8am.
Guess we'll be hearing from you then.
....as printed in The Courier Mail, Tuesday 20th March 2001. (minus my excessive typing errors of course, sorry bout that folks)
