News Beams taking indefinite leave for mental health

Kirby

This man is confused
Oct 10, 2007
13,617
18,605
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Read, reread until you comprehend. What about those who are incapable of work due to their mental health and can't feed themselves, or go homeless, or get the water or electricity cut off? People whose issues are so bad they see no way out and end their lives because of lack of support? What about them? I've got more sympathy for them than a privileged person in society who is now probably going to sun himself in Bali for the next 3 months with his family all around him isn't the hero of the cause we need. When truly tragic stories get swept under the carpet. Elderly, lonely people ignored by society with no-one checking in them dying in the cold in a pile of their own s**t. Where's the front page article on that?
So if beams would only have the decency (being wealthy) to keep quiet that would deserve your sympathy? I suppose that if he suicides due to depression that might also attract some of your empathy?

You need to take a good hard look at yourself and think this stuff over. I'm out.
 

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Kappa

Brownlow Medallist
Oct 7, 2014
15,059
17,558
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Read, reread until you comprehend. What about those who are incapable of work due to their mental health and can't feed themselves, or go homeless, or get the water or electricity cut off? People whose issues are so bad they see no way out and end their lives because of lack of support? What about them? I've got more sympathy for them than a privileged person in society who is now probably going to sun himself in Bali for the next 3 months with his family all around him isn't the hero of the cause we need. When truly tragic stories get swept under the carpet. Elderly, lonely people ignored by society with no-one checking in them dying in the cold in a pile of their own s**t. Where's the front page article on that?
Yes, what about them? Those are tragic situations but trying to act like Beams is the bad guy or is going to happily holiday in Bali because he's "privileged" and that his depression isn't real or him trying to help others by posting about it is him trying to get "hero points".. utter crap.
 

sirlothie

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 17, 2007
12,132
9,010
Melbourne
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Collingwood
Yes, what about them? Those are tragic situations but trying to act like Beams is the bad guy or is going to happily holiday in Bali because he's "privileged" and that his depression isn't real or him trying to help others by posting about it is him trying to get "hero points".. utter crap.
You obviously haven't twigged Dayne Beams is all about Dayne Beams.
 

sideswipe

Club Legend
Jun 10, 2014
1,847
2,492
AFL Club
Collingwood
Read, reread until you comprehend. What about those who are incapable of work due to their mental health and can't feed themselves, or go homeless, or get the water or electricity cut off? People whose issues are so bad they see no way out and end their lives because of lack of support? What about them? I've got more sympathy for them than a privileged person in society who is now probably going to sun himself in Bali for the next 3 months with his family all around him isn't the hero of the cause we need. When truly tragic stories get swept under the carpet. Elderly, lonely people ignored by society with no-one checking in them dying in the cold in a pile of their own s**t. Where's the front page article on that?
What about the one middle class everyman/farmer/high performing professional who reads what Beams had to say, and is then prompted to seek help for himself, who just might end up in a much better situation? It isn't a competition that means the person in the worst situation is the only one with credibility.
 

Saintly Viewed

So You Think
Aug 10, 2015
45,930
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You obviously haven't twigged Dayne Beams is all about Dayne Beams.
Whilst I don’t agree with you on this sensitive issue, I’m not going to attack you either.

I’m trying to see your point of view.

It seems what grinds your gears is you see a guy with “privilege” getting empathy, sympathy all this good will.
You also seem to indicate their are thousands and thousands of more “worthy” human being with more “worthy” problems, more “worthy” mental illness getting less or no support.

Essentially a rich footballer v an unknown nobody.

Have I got your particular gripes right?

But as with so many things, life is not fair or perfectly balanced.
We have food in Australia, others around the world starve.

Some ding bat lives till their nineties with no compassion for anyone, a child gets a terminal illness.

That’s life, it’s not fair, it’s impossible to comprehend.

That said, people on this board, by and large have great sympathy and empathy for Dayne because they have a connection, ever so slight to him through their love of Collingwood.

Humans make connections.

If this was a family member or close friend for someone on this board, their pain and empathy would likely be higher.

But it’s not a competition.

I think most of us would love all the ills of the world cured, everyone to have a happy healthy life.

But it just doesn’t work that way.

Back to Dayne, he is suffering, it’s real for him. Whatever the circumstances he seems in a deep dark hole.
Compassion for him, empathy for him, all of those things aren’t unworthy.

Sure he has blessings, but as we saw with Majak Daw, the unthinkable may have happened.

And for those that have care for the Collingwood family, and feel an attachment to the players, so be it.
That compassion that love by supporters is not to be judged in my opinion.

We all travel on our journey. You may not understand or if you do understand, you may choose to disregard our feelings, that’s your own call.

However, I will and others extend the hand of empathy and compassion to a person hurting.
Because that’s the measure of my humanity.

Sometimes in life it’s better to lose being decent than win by being less than decent.

We’re all different.

And that makes life wonderful in its own way.
 

JOELY

Premiership Player
Apr 9, 2006
4,727
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Anyone who's genuinely suffered similar issues knows that the last thing you want to do is lay yourself bare in public, you just want to go away and suffer. Despite what potentially self serving things are at play, the potential to help other people is also there, and I'll never stop having a deep admiration for people who can open themselves up in their most vulnerable moments.
 

ant22

Premiership Player
Oct 14, 2005
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You obviously haven't twigged Dayne Beams is all about Dayne Beams.

You have no idea mate. You have completely missed the point.

Why it is important that people like beams share their battle is because it helps other men realise it’s ok to say “hey I’m not ok, I need help”

I’ve had my own issues in recent years and for a long time felt ashamed to tell anyone. I’m now started to feel like we are finally getting to a stage we’re men are longer afraid to talk and admit they are mentally not ok. We still have a way to go(as evidenced by your ignorance) but we are getting there.

Mental health does not discriminate .
 

pickettline

Team Captain
Feb 3, 2002
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Best of good will for your recovery, from a fellow sufferer. It is a very slow process and during this time you will realize what is truly important in your life. If it of benefit to you let others become involved, but that is not for everyone. Remember one important thing, you are not alone.
 

Bad Horse

Thoroughbred of Sin
Mar 26, 2016
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If you go back to the start I was sympathetic to Beams and I was just the first one who raised the Collingwood implications associated. Then the attacks by the sensitive, PC brigade came even though the majority concurred that it doesn't reflect well on Collingwood's recruiting department at the moment. But about 2 permanently outraged types just latched onto my 'insensitivity' and 'lack of empathy' so now I am just coming to a s**t fight armed with s**t to be honest.

A couple weeks ago I got a call I had been half expecting for a long time. One of the guys I knew in care had tried to top himself and landed in hospital. I spent the next week sitting with him mostly because there was nobody else. I was lucky, I had no family but I had people at least, though I often saw that as more of a hindrance than a help, but they could look after me while I looked after him a bit.

I really wanted to be angry with him. I knew he had it worse than me though, he went into care before me and had more placements than me. He was at least as dysfunctional. I still wanted to be angry but I couldnt, not because I could see why he did what he did, but because I had been on the other side of the bed more than once and I couldnt say with certainty in my heart that my time wouldnt come again. Thats why having people sometimes hurts. I know I'm going to hurt them one day.

When I was at school, sometimes the private school mates of my foster brothers would chose me to unload their bad s**t inside on because they didnt want to be ashamed in front of their mates and I was considered basically part of the furniture and I wouldnt judge them because I was too f’ed up for that. I kind of flipped out that these guys with all the money and toys in the world got so f’ed up inside. I came eventually to see though that it didnt matter what you had, the darkness didnt discriminate.

Most of the time, I'm just trying not to do stuff to make other people feel like I do because its all I got. I fail a lot, including with you mate at times I know. I'm sorry if I did.

Everyone reacts differently to this, informed by their past and their experience, and a part of me can see where you are coming from, and where they are coming from. I dont think its ever black and white. I know where I'm coming from at the moment, and its not a great place.

For that reason though at the moment I mostly dont care about the details. I have said plenty about Beams and the trade at different times. For now, I mostly just feel for another person, who I think is in a dark place, and hope whatever his faults, and whatever the circumstances of his coming back to us, that he gets through this. The darkness doesnt discriminate. Its a total, mother******* asshole, tearing your insides until there is nothing left but more dark. If there is one thing I have left, its wanting the dark to lose, every time. But I know not everyone is going to have the same perspective, or come to the same conclusions.

Fly well all you Magpie brethren. And fly safe.
 

sirlothie

Brownlow Medallist
Sep 17, 2007
12,132
9,010
Melbourne
AFL Club
Collingwood
A couple weeks ago I got a call I had been half expecting for a long time. One of the guys I knew in care had tried to top himself and landed in hospital. I spent the next week sitting with him mostly because there was nobody else. I was lucky, I had no family but I had people at least, though I often saw that as more of a hindrance than a help, but they could look after me while I looked after him a bit.

I really wanted to be angry with him. I knew he had it worse than me though, he went into care before me and had more placements than me. He was at least as dysfunctional. I still wanted to be angry but I couldnt, not because I could see why he did what he did, but because I had been on the other side of the bed more than once and I couldnt say with certainty in my heart that my time wouldnt come again. Thats why having people sometimes hurts. I know I'm going to hurt them one day.

When I was at school, sometimes the private school mates of my foster brothers would chose me to unload their bad s**t inside on because they didnt want to be ashamed in front of their mates and I was considered basically part of the furniture and I wouldnt judge them because I was too f’ed up for that. I kind of flipped out that these guys with all the money and toys in the world got so f’ed up inside. I came eventually to see though that it didnt matter what you had, the darkness didnt discriminate.

Most of the time, I'm just trying not to do stuff to make other people feel like I do because its all I got. I fail a lot, including with you mate at times I know. I'm sorry if I did.

Everyone reacts differently to this, informed by their past and their experience, and a part of me can see where you are coming from, and where they are coming from. I dont think its ever black and white. I know where I'm coming from at the moment, and its not a great place.

For that reason though at the moment I mostly dont care about the details. I have said plenty about Beams and the trade at different times. For now, I mostly just feel for another person, who I think is in a dark place, and hope whatever his faults, and whatever the circumstances of his coming back to us, that he gets through this. The darkness doesnt discriminate. Its a total, mother******* asshole, tearing your insides until there is nothing left but more dark. If there is one thing I have left, its wanting the dark to lose, every time. But I know not everyone is going to have the same perspective, or come to the same conclusions.

Fly well all you Magpie brethren. And fly safe.
It's those kind of detailed, thoughtful, heartfelt stories I can identify and empathise with, thank you. And hopefully one day Beams feels comfortable enough to come completely clean so I can understand him better too.
 

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CFC2010

Premium Gold
Aug 22, 2014
18,197
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Just read Robbo’s article about the 13 year old boy who said to Dayne “Atleast my Dads still alive”

Social media is poison sometimes.......I wouldn’t give this kid a phone till he is 18......what a disgusting thing to say to a total stranger.

Get well Dayne.
 

Saintly Viewed

So You Think
Aug 10, 2015
45,930
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Just read Robbo’s article about the 13 year old boy who said to Dayne “Atleast my Dads still alive”

Social media is poison sometimes.......I wouldn’t give this kid a phone till he is 18......what a disgusting thing to say to a total stranger.

Get well Dayne.
Just look at Twitter and how people talk to each other.

Far more twit than wit.
 

barrackers

Premium Gold
Sep 4, 2016
6,186
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AFL Club
Collingwood
This news about Beams has me thinking three things
  • Most importantly Beams' health, I hope he can get on top of his demons
  • Empathy towards the circumstances of Beams leaving for Brisbane and his return home
  • That the deal we did with the lions for Beams' return home was poorer than I first thought. Without health issues 2 first round picks was too much let alone with Beams' health issues.
 

jmac70

Premium Gold
Apr 10, 2010
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Just read Robbo’s article about the 13 year old boy who said to Dayne “Atleast my Dads still alive”

Social media is poison sometimes.......I wouldn’t give this kid a phone till he is 18......what a disgusting thing to say to a total stranger.

Get well Dayne.
Kids can be cruel. Not sure why Robbo would reference it.
 

pablo disco bar

Norm Smith Medallist
Dec 16, 2013
5,312
3,202
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Do you have struggles? I mean really? There are kids who need to walk 10km to drink dirty water, have no clothes, no parents and no food, so how can you complain about your "struggles", you don't even have any struggles. Toughen up, get over it, ect ect ect

See how stupid that logic is?

Oh and I thought we got past the "I don't understand how rich people can get depression derp derp derp" 5 years ago... Guess not everyone is on the bus. His father died, he has (alleged) heavy addiction issues, he's suffering from chronic pain and injuries and he has depression... Oh but he makes a lot of money so I guess he should just be happy...
Can I ask how do you know what my mental issues are??

Just because i don't play for Collingwood doesn't make it any less of an issue
 

AmericanMustard

Team Captain
Aug 24, 2018
318
345
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Collingwood
I’d be interested to know what role the AFLPA played in the negotiations (if any) and I’m assuming they didn’t given that Marsh and Dangerfield are at the helm and they only care about one thing and it’s not social or welfare issues.

I’m not for a second suggesting that we should have got a discount as we should have paid worth, but given what we paid and this is Beams in the environment he wanted to be in, there’s quite clearly some huge mental demons at play here which could of had devastating effects if we didn’t cough up that second first rounder which I couldn’t blame the club if we walked a away.

Gut feel is retirement would have been a given but who knows
 
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