Media BearlyNews Presents: Chaos in Vegas - A Hero Steps Forth from the Shadows

[Matera92]

Breaking News!

The last 24hrs hours has seen the Las Vegas Bears fall into turmoil as yet another team sheet scandal rocks the team under JoshWoodenSpoon.
​

Hello ladies and gentlemen. I bring you some sad news.

Unfortunately, Cadaver has made a glaring error in his posting of the Las Vegas Bears team sheet for their Preliminary Final against the Mount Buller Demons.

In the absence of JoshWoodenSpoon, young leader and surely future captain Cadaver has cost his side a goal penalty heading into the big clash on Sunday.
Here is the team sheet he has posted:

Can you see the mistake?

You'll notice that instead of using the accepted "Ruck" for the ruckman position, Cadaver has simply used "R", which is generally designated to the Rover.
A very small mistake indeed, but a mistake nonetheless.

"But Loonerty" I hear the Las Vegas folk cry "That is so minor that surely it won't cost us anything and you're fishing for drama."

Oh ho ho my friends, I don't fish. I leave that to Yakker.

The "R" controversy is not the only issue you see.
Let's take a look at the team sheet the Bears posted for the semi final against the Gumbies:

You will notice here that hilly is named in the Back Pocket while Magruder is named on the bench.

Cast your eyes back above to this week's team sheet - the two have been swapped. Cadaver, however, failed to declare this change.


May this be a lesson to all and especially to those thinking they are ready to be captain - double. check. your. work.

Where was the vice captain in all this? As usual, Doctor Gero has come up short when needed most, a clear example that despite his more than respectable statistical ability as a QOOTY player, he remains without a coveted Mateflon Best and Fairest Award.

Our sources from inside the Leadership Group at the Bears have had information leaked to them that a clear candidate has been making his intentions known that he is the right man to help clear up this mess, none of which was his fault at all, and that his flawless record means he's the only one qualified to take on the role at this critical time of the season.

JoshWoodenSpoon and his supportive Leadership Group





Amidst the chaos and uncertainty that must now be filling the Bears, one man has stepped forth and declared his intentions to steady the ship. A Las Vegas Bears legend, SFA superstar, former Captain, Grammy, Academy and Logie award winner, and all round champion ******* bloke.

The King of Vegas: Matera92






When confronted at his home, the penthouse sweet at the Bellagio, Matera only had two words to say to the media.





The teflon coated wingman continues to be Vegas's favourite son, and perhaps come Season 27's conclusion, his legacy will have grown ever larger.







Story by Paul Twocock


​

 

[pantskyle]

Replying so you don't cry yourself to sleep.

 

[Matera92]

Replying so you don't cry yourself to sleep.

Will you hold me?

 

[Barrybran]

O King of Vegas
Mateflon be thy name
Lead the Bears from darkness
For JoshWoodenSpoon earned his rest
And Cadaver tried his best
And while doctors are known for diagnoses
Gero's just a flog
Amen

 

[Dav]

I think we all know who really needs to step up in our time of need.

An esteemed member of the Season 26 rookie crop.

A Bears finals hero.

Not worried about league politics or immaterial matters such as posting, or having an active account.



SilvaComet, we need you.

 

[_Cayz_]

This is getting good.

 

[Barrybran]

I think we all know who really needs to step up in our time of need.

An esteemed member of the Season 26 rookie crop.

A Bears finals hero.

Not worried about league politics or immaterial matters such as posting, or having an active account.

View attachment 696407

SilvaComet, we need you.

I mean, I'm available. Just say the word and stick me in a back pocket. Cloud_ won't enforce the rules.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Breaking News!

The last 24hrs hours has seen the Las Vegas Bears fall into turmoil as yet another team sheet scandal rocks the team under JoshWoodenSpoon.




Where was the vice captain in all this? As usual, Doctor Gero has come up short when needed most, a clear example that despite his more than respectable statistical ability as a QOOTY player, he remains without a coveted Mateflon Best and Fairest Award.

Our sources from inside the Leadership Group at the Bears have had information leaked to them that a clear candidate has been making his intentions known that he is the right man to help clear up this mess, none of which was his fault at all, and that his flawless record means he's the only one qualified to take on the role at this critical time of the season.

JoshWoodenSpoon and his supportive Leadership Group





Amidst the chaos and uncertainty that must now be filling the Bears, one man has stepped forth and declared his intentions to steady the ship. A Las Vegas Bears legend, SFA superstar, former Captain, Grammy, Academy and Logie award winner, and all round champion ******* bloke.

The King of Vegas: Matera92


View attachment 696379



When confronted at his home, the penthouse sweet at the Bellagio, Matera only had two words to say to the media.

View attachment 696386



The teflon coated wingman continues to be Vegas's favourite son, and perhaps come Season 27's conclusion, his legacy will have grown ever larger.







Story by Paul Twocock


​

You’re a funny bastard.
Best friend a fella could ask for, you campaigner

 

[Matera92]

You’re a funny bastard.
Best friend a fella could ask for, you campaigner

Flattery won't save your place in the team under my iron rule.

 

[Art Vandelay_]

Flattery won't save your place in the team under my iron rule.

Our captain just appeared from nowhere.

The Era of Jezmiester40 begins

 

[Jezmiester40]

Who's big idea was that, I still wish to know, I'm far from capable of leadership responsibility

 

[byebyexenxen]

Who's big idea was that, I still wish to know, I'm far from capable of leadership responsibility

Dingster ’s

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

* yeah. I’ll drive the limo.

 

[Wosh]

All class JoshWoodenSpoon
Good luck Bears.

 

[JoshWoodenSpoon]

All in all, I’m really most disappointed that the thread sub-heading is not: “Cometh the Moment, Cometh the Pan”.

 

[Broken]

All in all, I’m really most disappointed that the thread sub-heading is not: “Cometh the Moment, Cometh the Pan”.

I'm shocked we haven't seen a Bad News Bears headline

 

[I Dont Care]

I'm just shocked

 

[Matera92]

Matera92 0 1 2 1 0 1 1 0 0 9

Captains Game.


See you in the Grand Final peasants.

 

[ClarkeM]

I think we all know who really needs to step up in our time of need.

An esteemed member of the Season 26 rookie crop.

A Bears finals hero.

Not worried about league politics or immaterial matters such as posting, or having an active account.

View attachment 696407

SilvaComet, we need you.

Last seen last year. Wow, the Bears are in trouble.

 

[DemonJim]

View attachment 696379


​

You just had to include my face there didn't you.

 

[Matera92]

Called it.




Return of the King baby.