Best and Worst jokes ever heard...

Marc Shmurf 3

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Thread starter #1
simple just post them if you like.

Ill start off with one of the worst jokes ive ever heard,

Ben Cousins is thinking about a move to Rugby League because there is white lines every 10 metres not 50.
 

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Salaryman

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#10
A bear and a rabbit are taking a shit in the woods. The bear turns to the rabbit and asks, "Mr Rabbit, do you ever have trouble with shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit replies, "Why, no, Mr Bear!" So the bear picks up the rabbit and wipes his ass with the rabbit.
Isn't it past bedtime in the bin?? :D
 

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Bee

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#13
What did Tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants coming over the hill?

"Oh, look here comes 100 elephants over the hill."


What did Tarzan say when he saw 100 elephants wearing sunglasses coming over the hill?

Nothing he didn't recognise them!
 
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2 potatoes were cooking in an oven.
One potato turns to the other and says "Geez, it's hot in here!"
The other one says "WHOA!!! A talking potato!"
 

Marc Shmurf 3

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Thread starter #20
Ok this is a good 1 to tell when you are around pissed people

Where's the $1????
3 men walk into a hotel to stay the night. The lady at the reception said that they have a special room for only $25 for the night.
So each of the men hand her $10 each.
The lady couldnt work out how she would be able to split the $5 of change into 3 so she thought i will give each of the men $1 each back and i will keep the other $2. (3 X 1 = 3 + 2 (she kept) = $5)

So lets work it out now...
She gave the men $1 each back (they gave her $10 at the start) so they actually paid $9 each for the room. 9 X 3 = $27 and the $2 that she kept =$29 so where the bloody hell is that other DOLLAR.

Gets people tripping. lol
 

Thrawn

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#21
Two atoms are walking down the street one day, and one of them says to the other:

"Hey, wait up a second. I think I lost an electron!"

The first atom replied, "Are you sure?"

The second atom replied, "Yes, I'm positive!"
 
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