Best comeback lines

[David]

the comeback window closes about 2-3 secs later dosnt it.

if someone says anything after that then it cant be paid.

 

[KiNgCliVe26]

Shut Up Ya dumb littl ****. **** off back into your saint vincent depaul clothing bin u homeless **** and i hope all the rich ****s feed you cheese cake through the holes and you get fat and can't ****ing get out.

Or after some one says to you "YEAH REAL FUNNY" in sarcastic tone.

Hit em back with
Not as funny as ya sister/mum looks......with nothing on

Your about as amusing as 1 ****ing tennis player.

 

[CowboyFromHell]

Originally posted by KiNgCliVe26
Shut Up Ya dumb littl ****. **** off back into your saint vincent depaul clothing bin u homeless **** and i hope all the rich ****s feed you cheese cake through the holes and you get fat and can't ****ing get out.

Or after some one says to you "YEAH REAL FUNNY" in sarcastic tone.

Hit em back with
Not as funny as ya sister/mum looks......with nothing on

Your about as amusing as 1 ****ing tennis player.

 

[BomberGal]

Had this absolute moron in our class a few years ago. He would seriously be one of the most annoying people you'd ever meet. He talked and talked and talked, stirred people up, didn't know when to stop, argued anything and everything, always had a pathetically lame comeback for everything and would continue giving these comebacks even when you ignored him.

Anyway, we were on a school camp one day, and I must have told him to shut up or **** off or something. All he could say back was, "Suck my d***." So, I said back, "My mum told me it was dangerous to put small things in my mouth." For the first time we'd ever seen, he was speechless. Couldn't say anything. I had everyone in hysterics, including the teachers, while this guy sat there red-faced. Very funny, although maybe you have to know him to get the full effect.

 

[Mobbs]

I've always liked "You'd look really funny saying that with no teeth."

 

[kaysee]

Gotto love Tony Soprano's comebacks when his kids give him lip>>>

Tony S, Carmella S, Anthony S (14 year old son) and Medlow (18 year old daughter) all sitting at the table eating dinner when the doorbell rings.

Tony S - "Anthony go get the door."
Anthony S - "I'm eating dinner!"
Tony S - "Yeah but if you don't answer the door you wont have any ******* teeth to eat with"

 

[The D9]

Like the one

You'll be picking up your teeth with broken fingers.

I knew a guy who always said, see you when your bum cracks, and when your walking away from him, he would call you back, saying he has something to tell you, only to say, imagine how far you'd be if I didn't call you back. Not really a comeback, but annoying.

I like the happy Gilmore come back, (Shooter McGavin) "I eat ***** like you for breakfast", (Happy), "You eat ***** for breakfast".

Or what about Billy Madison, when the girl in the class says something, and Billy says loudly, "No I don't wanna make out with you, I'm here to learn, looks to others, she wants to make out with me".

"What did your last slave die of", "saying what did your last slave die of"

 

[qldtiger]

One of our reps at work commented to me after not seeing me for a while that I had put on a little weight....

Response? That's cause every time I push your mum over she gives me a cookie!

The rep said nothing and walked away!!

 

[Tormented Tiger]

Try this one when ppl try to bullsh1t to you....
"Don't cum on my cup cake and try tell me it's icing"

 

[LordLucifer]

Many years ago (that's many many actually) when I was at RMIT, I was at the lights in Victoria St. waiting to cross the road. A drop dead stunner sidled up alongside me and also waited for the lights to change. The car that had pole position when the red light came on was a beaten-up shlt heap with 3 boneheads in it. One of the boys thought he would be a hero in front of his mates so he hung his ugly bonce out of the window and as the glamour crossed the road in front them he yelled "hey, do you root".

Quick as a flash she replied, 'yeah, for the men not the boys'.

I packed up in uncontrollable laughter and the clown was completely redfaced in front of his mates. Great comeback !!

 

[Slax]

I was out in London one night and my mate is trying his stuff and old pick up lines he's told this girl that he has everything that will make her dreams come true in his pants. She has turned pulled down his fly and had a quick feel and said
'I don't what sort of dreams you think I have but at least I want something that I can actually find without a search party'

 

[Kapow!!!]

The Best (or worst, depending if you're a chick or not) Was when My mum, dad, brother and I were travelling past a couple of farms. Mum said "Moo, Hey, look at that cow everyone" to which I replied "Mum, you're looking in a mirror"

 

[AngelEyes]

all south aussies should know what i mean:

"Hey mate, I think your bus for Glenside is leaving!"


I like using that one.

 

[maccas_no1]

Originally posted by AngelEyes
all south aussies should know what i mean:

"Hey mate, I think your bus for Glenside is leaving!"


I like using that one.

yes i know what you mean or another on is 'What time in the "special" blue bus leaving?????'

 

[AngelEyes]

Originally posted by maccas_no1
yes i know what you mean or another on is 'What time in the "special" blue bus leaving?????'

but i would never use that one on you!

maybe; "What time is your bus leaving? And can I jump on board?"

 

[maccas_no1]

Originally posted by AngelEyes
but i would never use that one on you!

maybe; "What time is your bus leaving? And can I jump on board?"

LOL that would be suitable

 

[AngelEyes]

Originally posted by maccas_no1
LOL that would be suitable

Would i get the luxury package?

 

[KiNgCliVe26]

When 1s bragging aobut the size of there balls.

Look mate no-one gives a **** that you got big balls. This is australia and in australia you get admired for hard work. Its not like you had to work for your balls you were born with them. No one gives a ****....except for your mates with bruises on there chins.

 

[maccas_no1]

Originally posted by AngelEyes
Would i get the luxury package?

Yes you would get the red carpet, 21 gun salute and fireworks

 

[KiNgCliVe26]

You were such an Ugly Baby your mum used to breast feed you by straw.

you were such an Ugly Baby that your incubator was tinted.

If one asks scarcastically"Hows ya Grandfather?"

"He's rooting your grandma she's all ****ed up he got the viagra been rootin her for hours."

 

[eagleskickass]

Originally posted by AngelEyes
all south aussies should know what i mean:

"Hey mate, I think your bus for Glenside is leaving!"


I like using that one.

Is that like saying the bus to Graylands is leaving in WA?

*mental institution*

 

[Tinker]

This was a conversation I had last week with my Dad:

Dad: Wow, you're now 26 - you'll be 30 soon!

Tinker: I'd rather be nearly 30 than nearly 60, Dad.


Suffice to say the "30" issue has not been raised since.

 

[Docker_Brat]

Originally posted by eagleskickass
Is that like saying the bus to Graylands is leaving in WA?

*mental institution*

Precisely.

 

[ballanFYNE]

Situation: I have pen on my hand (other guy has white out stains)

Lame Kid:haha your boyfriend did that to you last night.

Me (in 2 seconds): "points at stain" Oh yeah? Your boyfriend did that to you last night.

 

[Mattman93]

Situation: I have pen on my hand (other guy has white out stains)

Lame Kid:haha your boyfriend did that to you last night.

Me (in 2 seconds): "points at stain" Oh yeah? Your boyfriend did that to you last night.

So basically you said the exact same thing back to him? Ah.....