Best Jokes during Corona Lockdown

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Triple Baileys

Club Legend
Jan 7, 2019
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Dan Andrews is up late at night in his office writing an important speech he has to give the next day.

He feels a massive fart building up and figuring that no-one else is there raises his left cheek and lets it rip.

Incredibly, it is dead silent and there is no smell.

"That's interesting," he says to himself.

So, he lets another even bigger one out. Again, dead silent and no smell.

"That's fantastic," he says to himself, "I don't have worry about farting in public anymore."

So the next day he gives his important 1 hour speech live on all TV and radio stations with live streaming to the internet too.

"My fellow Victorians...," he begins and as he says it he can feel a mega fart building up. No problem, he just lets it go and, sure enough, it is dead silent and doesn't smell.

"Together, we can beat this virus...," he continues. At that point the teleprompter indicates he is to emphatically slam his fist on the table. So he does that and it causes another giant fart that has been building up to be unleashed. But again, no problem, it is dead silent and does not smell.

And so his speech continues for the rest of the hour.

Afterwards, he turns to his coterie of cronies and back slappers that he calls advisors. "Well, how did that go?" he asks them.

The Chief Medical Officer of Victoria stands up and says, "Mr Premier, I recommend strongly that you immediately have a COVID-19 test."

"Why's that?" says Dan.

"Because COVID-19 can cause a loss of your sense of smell and hearing..."
 
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Optimistic Dog

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Oct 11, 2014
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After more than 6 months and 155k of views the Coronavirus thread has suffered fatigue and has not had a new thread since Friday how long can it last. It is even on the second page of the bulldogs posts
 

Bont2Bruce

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Mar 15, 2012
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Dystopian timeline 2022 - Dan Andrews bans elections in Victoria and declares himself premier for life. no-one objects.

2027 - Dan Andrews declares Victoria an independent country and himself as King Daniel the First. No-one objects.

2028 - Dan Andrews builds a ten-metre high concrete fence around Victoria. No-one objects.

2029 - The lockdown continues. Victoria's GDP per capita falls below Fiji and Vanuatu. No-one objects.

2041 - Daniel's son ascends to the Kingship. No-one objects.

2051 - Daniel's son announces that lockdown will remain in place until there are no Covid deaths within a 50-year period. No-one objects. By now, 80% of adult males work in the police, the military, the secret police and/or as private security guards. The GDP per capita falls below that of Nauru. No-one objects.
You're on the wrong board. The Politics Board is that way. Kindly **** off.
 

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Triple Baileys

Club Legend
Jan 7, 2019
1,099
1,172
AFL Club
Western Bulldogs
You're on the wrong board. The Politics Board is that way. Kindly **** off.
Bont2Bruce you are wasted here. You need to get onto the comments section on Daily Mail. Dan needs all the help he can get on there, it's a total bloodbath, let me tell you...I just survived to make it back...worse than going on the StKilda board.
 

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