Best Jokes during Corona Lockdown

[Dogs Rule]

Essendon.

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Mods please delete the political posts, I don't find any of them funny.

 

[TempletonTheRat]

Mods please delete the political posts, I don't find any of them funny.

I don't find Jim Carey funny but other people think he is hilarious

 

[GoalSneak38]

Well, you would have to be both blind and deaf to re-elect the worst performing state in Australia’s history.

Thanks for that Michael O'Brien. Didn't realise you followed footy or did anything positive for that matter. Seriously jog on you pelican

 

[The Buck]

BLM protestors arrested after forgetting to declare they are a “Living Woman”

 

[HahnPremium]

 

[dogwatch]

 

[dogwatch]

 

[The Buck]

News Corp demands Dan Andrews end lockdown so they can go back to complaining he isn’t doing enough

 

[The Buck]

Man that has always called kids too soft now throwing tantrum about wearing a bit of cloth

 

[jaxie1]

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

 

[mackem]

View attachment 929829

Some good ones there.

 

[Optimistic Dog]

Ryan Gardner gets selected for Lions game good joke bevo.

 

[Jeff 1975]

I heard from a reliable source that the Vic Government are changing the number plates again too

‘The Dropping the Ball State’

 

[NBates]

Sent from my SM-A505YN using Tapatalk

 

[bresker]

Big game today


























at Werribee Zoo

 

[bresker]

Powell-Pepper is being interviewed by Hodgey on the boundary at half time during a Port Adelaide game in front of the Power cheer squad. In an effort to prove to everyone that Powell-Pepper isn't thick, Hodgey asks him "okay Sam, what's 15 plus 15?". Powell-Pepper thinks for a bit. "19?" he replies. The crowd call out "Give him another chance! give him another chance!" Hodgey asks him "okay Sam, what's 10 plus 10?". Powell-Pepper thinks for a bit. "6?" he replies. The crowd call "Give him another chance! give him another chance!" Hodgey says "okay mate last chance. "What's 2 plus 2?" Powell-Pepper thinks long and hard. "4?" he replies. The crowd call "Give him another chance! give him another chance!"

 

[jaxie1]

 

[Kennel Master]

Trump took a quick trip to Rome to show his concern for the Pope:

"I met with Pope Francis today. He's a really great pope — great, great pope. You know he's the leader of the Catholic Church — big church.

"I couldn't believe it when he told me how many Catholics there are. Way more than I thought. They have churches all over the world; some are very, very close (so close) to my hotels and golf courses. He tells me he's elected for life, probably copying that Xi guy in China. Fantastic idea, though. Fantastic. It turns out the pope is a lot like me, you never see him with his wife.

"He told me he's infallible. I said that's great, you'll never have to worry about breaking a hip. And told me about a Mary Magdalene, beautiful girl, beautiful. Apparently a hooker. I asked him for her number. Didn't catch his answer. I'm told he said it in Latin. I give the guy credit because he doesn't look Latino.

"He took me into the Sistine Chapel. Beautiful ceiling. Not the usual white stucco stuff. I don't think too many people even know about this place. The paintings are great, I'm telling you. Lots of colours.

"The Pope (great guy, by the way, knows more about the Bible than almost anybody we got along great, I think he really likes me) told me the whole thing was painted by this young Italian. I think his name is Mike Langelo.

"At least that's what Francis (we're great friends) called him, I think. Trust me, we're going to hear more about this guy. He's really artistic, and everybody tells me I have the greatest eye for the best art. It's natural, just like my incredible understanding of science. All the renowned scientists say they can't believe it.

"I told Frank I'd like to buy some of Mike's art. I asked if Mike's done anything on velvet. He'll check (great guy). I'll hang his stuff at Mar-a-Lago or Trump Tower. This Mike guy needs more exposure. He's too much with the churches.

"He could paint my presidential portrait on the Capitol Dome. Or maybe a mural on my big, beautiful border wall; but just on our side.

"When we left, the pope gave me a bible. Huge book. (Huge.) I told him I have the full set. You get one for free every time you take a pr0n star to a hotel room."

[pauses]

"Unbelievable. Just heard. The main stream media is at it again. Fake news. (Fake news.) I just saw something on TV. They claim Mike the painter died 450 years ago.
Sad. I've already got people looking into this and you won't believe what they're finding.”

KM

 

[Floridog]

Remember, the spread of the coronavirus depends on two factors: how dense your population is and how dense your population is.

 

[The Buck]

“Oh Did You Guys Only Just Figure Out A Vaccine Today?” Kim Jong-Un Tells Putin



Man Who Broke Out Of Toowoomba Hotel Quarantine A Week Early Not Dark Enough For A Front Page



12 August 2020

 

[LittleG]

Not a joke but funny anyway:

 

[NBates]

 

[Dogs_R_Us]

Official Song of Quarantine and Lockdown