best Simpson lines

[Captain Random]

Ralph (about fires): In our house, we call them "uh-ohs"

 

[Savatage]

"I Think He's Talking To You" - Homer Simpson

 

[Mobbs]

Home throws photo in bin to make room on wall.
Marge - Homer, that's our wedding photo.
Homer - Stop living in the past, Marge.

Chief Wiggum - Ahh, no, sorry. This is nine-one- ..... two.

 

[clucas91]

My favorite,

Homer has just bought a square watermelon.
Marge: "Homer that watermelon cost $280"
Homer: "It's worth every penny, I'm tired of fumbling with round fruit". Just before the watermelon falls to the ground...lol.

Next,

After another Sideshow Bob arrest.
Bart: "Take him away boys!"
Wiggum: "Hey thats my line! Take him away toys!"
Lou and Eddie: "What did you say chief?"
Wiggum: "Just put him in the van"

Then finally,

Not really a quote but,
When Mayor Quimby is giving a televised address, note the text on the Springfield government logo, "Corruptus in Extremus".

 

[Dr Zaius]

Ralphy Wiggum: "I'm a boy"
Mayor Quimby?: "That's the spirit, never give in!"

Lunch lady: "More testicles means more iron"

Kent Brockman: "So tell us about your latest movie McBain"
McBain(in cheesy Austrian accent): "I stand in front of a blank screen for three hours. It cost $80 million dollars"

NB: No responsibility taken for absolute accuracy of quotes. (this is not a quote)

 

[M29]

Another Gem from the HomR episode:

Homer losses all his money investing "Animotion".
Homer and Marge in bed.

Homer: "I have a great way to solve our money woes! You rent your womb to a rich childless couple. If you agree signify by giving indignance."

Marge: "Are you crazy? I'm not going to be a surigate mother."

Homer: "Come on Marge we're a team. It's UterUS not UterYOU."

 

[Stealth bomber]

"Dad, what's the point of this story?"
"I like stories."

"Oh I expect to hear that kind of language at Denny's, but not here".

"Pi is EXACTLY THREE!"

"Mr. Teeny needs a refill on his nicotine gum."

"I was at Bible camp. They were teaching me how to be more judgemental".

Entire Mr. Sparkle sequence.

Entire Worker and Parasite cartoon.

Lisa's psychedelic experience in the dental chair.

 

[meg]

Bart or Lisa ask Homer to drive them somewhere (or something along those lines), to which Homer says : "It's always something isn't it! First I had to drive your pregnant mother to the hospital to have you, and now this!" hehe.

 

[Captain Random]

Can't believe I forgot about Mr Sparkle!

 

[Docker_Brat]

Originally posted by carneagles
Can't believe I forgot about Mr Sparkle!

What a classic!

"I am disrespectful to dirt!"
"Join me or die! Is there any more you can do?"
"Oooh what a brave corporate logo"

 

[grimlock]

"Homer, tell your child what happened when I sent you to buy insurance"
"Curse you magic beans!"

"Oh, Lisa, you and your stories: Bart's a vampire, beer kills brain cells. Now let's go back to that..building..thingy.. where our beds and TV..is."

"And remember, if you're not sure about something, rub it against a piece of paper. If the paper turns clear, it's your window to weight gain."

"The lesson is: Our God is vengeful! O spiteful one, show me who to smite and they shall be smoten!"

"Oh my god! Space Aliens! Don’t eat me, I have a wife and kids! Eat them!"

"All right, let's not panic. I'll make the money by selling one of my livers. I can get by with one."

 

[meg]

*Lisa joins a hockey team

Homer: Now my daughter is on the team, just because she's a girl, i don't want anybody treating her differently! Ahahahahah! Look at that kid! He has bosoms!!! Quick! Somebody hand me a wet towl! Come here bosoms!




Marge (to bart): Don't have a stereotypical view of me just because I'm your mother. I know. Why don't we go and play the basketball? i'm no Harley Globetrotter....
*now playing basketball*
Marge: Look out for the 'Shaq-attack' LOL

 

[kuepper]

Originally posted by Savatage
"I Think He's Talking To You" - Homer Simpson

Ahhh you have to love Homer's 'stage whisper'

That sequence, where they go into witness protection and become the thompsons, is a gem:

FBI type: "when I say hello Mr Thompson, and stamp twice on your foot, you say hello back ... ok?'

FBI: "hello Mr Thompson" *stamp stamp*

Homer: *blank look* then whispers to other FBI guy "I think he's talking to you"

Gem.

 

[roobear]

Originally posted by meg
*Lisa joins a hockey team

Homer: Ahahahahah! Look at that kid! He has bosoms!!! Quick! Somebody hand me a wet towl! Come here bosoms!

LOL Classic.

the bosom boy in a high-pitched German accent: " don't make me run ... I'm full of chocolate!"


Also remembered-
Marge: Homer you can't wear a short sleeved shirt with a tie!
Homer: Sipowitz does!