Best sledge ever. Nominations.

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The Passenger

James Osterberg Jr.
Mar 25, 2003
31,720
20,138
Rigging votes
AFL Club
West Coast
This is a good one from todaystale (good website for anyone interested in some solid yarns - no doubt many now embellished - from club cricket in Sydney and Melbourne from years gone by)

What is the funniest cricket banter you’ve heard on the cricket field?

Our fiery left arm quick (medium pacer) Justin Dery bowling to Mark Waugh and he kept swinging the ball into his pads which of course kept getting dispatched to the boundary. JD would get even more fiery and Mark turned to Patto at slip and said “doesn’t this kid watch TV?”
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
22,798
24,363
AFL Club
Geelong
MyCricket has made sledging a lot easier than it otherwise might have been.

Yesterday at drinks our not out batsmen came off and one of them said ‘f*** that bloke at gully has not shut up. I hope he can play considering how he talks.’

30 seconds of phone googling later and I’d gotten his career story and went out to bat armed with the relevant information.

‘F*** you’re a lippy c*** for someone with a career average of 16 that doesn’t bowl.’ He didn’t say a lot after that.
 

FredLeDeux

Brownlow Medallist
Aug 2, 2012
28,727
44,101
AFL Club
Geelong
In the field one day against an ultra-defensive opening batsman who was having even more trouble than usual deciding to actually bplay a shot against our opening bowlers.

His first line of defence was to play and miss, and his second and third options were to pad up (just) outside off, but the ump simply wouldn't give us an LBW.

After an hour or so, at the drinks break, our skipper took pity on him.

"Getting a bit hot and bothered there, Owen, eh? Tell you what, why don't you just prop your pads up there on the pitch for a few minutes while you duck off and have a cup of tea."
 

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corbies

Moderator
Jul 31, 2010
4,536
6,272
Newcastle
AFL Club
Sydney
Other Teams
S'roos, New Jets, WHam, Cronulla
MyCricket has made sledging a lot easier than it otherwise might have been.

Yesterday at drinks our not out batsmen came off and one of them said ‘f*** that bloke at gully has not shut up. I hope he can play considering how he talks.’

30 seconds of phone googling later and I’d gotten his career story and went out to bat armed with the relevant information.

‘F*** you’re a lippy c*** for someone with a career average of 16 that doesn’t bowl.’ He didn’t say a lot after that.
I thought you hated sledging?
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
22,798
24,363
AFL Club
Geelong
I thought you hated sledging?
I do. When I personally know, and have worked with the bloke doing it, and know that he has absolutely no cricketing pedigree to back up his mouth, I will put him in his place.

I think sledging is the dumbest thing in sport. It doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the beauty in a retort such as James Ormond’s to Mark Waugh etc.
 

Gethelred

Brownlow Medallist
May 1, 2016
13,923
27,141
AFL Club
Carlton
MyCricket has made sledging a lot easier than it otherwise might have been.

Yesterday at drinks our not out batsmen came off and one of them said ‘f*** that bloke at gully has not shut up. I hope he can play considering how he talks.’

30 seconds of phone googling later and I’d gotten his career story and went out to bat armed with the relevant information.

‘F*** you’re a lippy c*** for someone with a career average of 16 that doesn’t bowl.’ He didn’t say a lot after that.
End thread. Can't beat that.
 

Gethelred

Brownlow Medallist
May 1, 2016
13,923
27,141
AFL Club
Carlton
I do. When I personally know, and have worked with the bloke doing it, and know that he has absolutely no cricketing pedigree to back up his mouth, I will put him in his place.

I think sledging is the dumbest thing in sport. It doesn’t mean I can’t appreciate the beauty in a retort such as James Ormond’s to Mark Waugh etc.
One of the most effective sledges I've ever given came in a game in which we were chasing an outright win. One of our opposition - who couldn't be there the first week - was named Max Power. When he walked out to bat, he's all determined, ghost batting and stretching; all I did was ask him if his name was actually Max Power. When he confirmed it, it's gone around the infield: "That name's awesome." "You could've been an '80's action character!'

He's gone from being wary and focused to being quite chuffed, even pleasantly surprised. First ball; edge to first slip.

Sledging doesn't need to be negative. Sledging doesn't need to be offensive. The purpose behind sledging is entirely to break the bats' focus on the game in order to get them out, and you can do that by making them laugh or smile.

One of the best sledges I've received was when I was walking out as a younger person. I was badly sunburnt from going to the beach a day or so earlier, and I'm on the - much - shorter side. The first slip points at me as I'm walking out, and starts whistling the oompa-loompa theme. Got me laughing with them.

People get the wrong idea. A good sledge doesn't need to be antagonistic. People just remember the antagonistic ones.
 

PhatBoy

Brownlow Medallist
May 5, 2016
22,798
24,363
AFL Club
Geelong
You can square it fairly easily by pointing out to the person sledging you that they’re playing the same grade as you.
We don’t have a team in the top grade atm and I’ll never play for another club. He’s also the son of his club’s president which goes part the way to explaining why he’s playing the grade he’s in
 

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