As all this non-trade week BS thankfully winds it's way up and we can finally be done with that pesky H&A/finals series, id like to wish everyone the best of luck over the next 2 weeks.
May your trade week stocking be filled with less spuds than guns (spud guns aside as too confusing - although bloody he'll they're good fun).
I will wait with open arms - not in consolation as every beloved Hawthorn superstar is inevitably offered up to the unforgiving football gods of clearly lesser teams as payment for the next Cameron Bruce and Bo Nixon - but in a double Dusty don't argue to distance myself from the sheer number of desperate supporters clamouring for direction in this potentially brave new world.
I look forward to another high octane trade week for no other reason than I really hate Hawthorn not dominating at some facet of the footballing calender. Call me spoilt. I will fight you.
I ask that whatever happens we all realise that a post-apocalyptic world can only survive if we all hate each other and feed off the ashes of each other's insecurities. That guy over there may be fat, but the other guy over there is really ugly and at least the first guy can lose weight. Go for the throat.
It's also worth noting that KMart is selling pitchforks on the cheap as Halloween approaches so please form an orderly line.
www.kmart.com.au/product/pitchfork--reaper-stick/1736314
I predict that we will laugh together (me at you, Dodoro and the GC Suns, not with you), cry together and beat our chests with outrage and dissatisfaction all the way up until the end of the year until we magically forget about all the things we so staunchly defended until the whole cycle kicks starts all over again and we get outraged for the first time (all over again).
Take solace over the next two weeks in the fact that I love you all. Well, let's face it not all of you. I can barely stand 99% of you.
Ultimately, I hope the Hawks go for the throat from tomorrow. Get whoever out we need to to get the next Hodge, Mitchell, Buddy and Cyril. Get me a Burgoyne now, or give me a pick that will do the job eventually. Just do something as it were.
Lead the way Hawks - just as I will when im strapped to the front of some kickass car with my face spray painted gray straddling a guitar that shoots fire and speakers blaring as we chase the last female women across a wasteland to potentially meet a nude Megan Gale.
Bring on the festivities.