big footy/big brother

[BUBBALOUIS]

Day 1. Joffa admits straight away that he doesnt like the look of dunstall 19. He says she looks like a lesbian. As it turns out, Mantis is the only lesbian in the house (sorry Mantis just make believe!), although Bubbalouis later admits that he is unsure of his true sexuality

Day 2. The house sits down for a discussion of how to organise simple chores. DAN25 creates tension by stating that the kitchen is where the women belong. RF1 hits him with a Wooden Spoon

Day 3. The housemates are set their first task by Big Brother- they must make a model of the MCG out of cheezels. After much persuasion by DAN25 they gamble 50% of next weeks food budget on completing the task

Day4. Training for the MCG task is well under way. However havoc ensures when Bubbalouis, who is rapidly developing a reputation as the laziest fat bastard in the house, eats half the Cheezels. RF1 is furious

Day 5. Today is the day when the MCG task must be completed. Things are going well until shortly before the end when Bubba farts and blows the MCG over . Big Brother announces that the task has been a failure. Dunstall19 cries

Day 6 DAN25 Gets pecked in the arm by one of the Big Brother chickens. Not a very exciting day.

Day 7. Big Brother is worried that things are getting dull, so he summons the housemates to have a mass debate about sex. After far too many cans of cider Dunstall19 admits that she likes to be spanked on the arse with a wooden spoon. Joffa says he never wears condoms because they make his bottom sore and Dan25 agrees. Mantis goes into a rant about how none of the other housemates have ever enjoyed a true orgasm because they are all boring heterosexuals bastards. Bubba sits in the corner, quietly eyeing up Dan25

Day 8. Today is the first day that the housemates must nominate someone to leave. Joffa goes around everyone one by one, telling them he really likes them because theyre the only one in the house that he can really relate to. RF1 and D19 are voted as the two candidates to leave. Nobody votes for Joffa

Day 9. RF1 and D19 are told of their nominations and burst into tears, before hugging everyone and telling them they love them. Mantis sings them a song- Freo Dockers Club Song- to make them feel better

Day 10. The public vote D19 OUT of the house. She pretends not to be bothered but then breaks down and sobs that she should never have admitted about enjoying being spanked. D19 leaves


STAY TUNED FOR THE NEXT INSTALLMENT!

 

[BUBBALOUIS]

Sorry should be in general talk, ill continue 'till someone moves it

Day 11. Relationships are strained in the house as the housemates come to terms with D19's departure. The food budget is low due to the failure of last weeks task. Mantis has to make do without the cucumber she requested. RF1 is visibly depressed and is comforted by DAN25, who tries to ouch RF1 on the bosom

Day 12. The Big Brother Psychologist replays the footage of DAN25 touching RF1'S bosom over and over again. This is because it shows an interesting psychological incident, of course, not because it will increase the viewing figures. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of jogging on a running macjine for twice the circumference of the globe. They gamble 40% of the food budget on completing it

Day 13. The running machine task is on target despite Bubba refusing to run 'coz his bottom hurts a bit

Day 14. Much jubilation in the house as the running machine task is completed. Bubba finally manages to run the last 10 metres of the task and claims that without him theyd never have done it. RF1 calls Bubba a lazy bum


STAY TUNED FOR MORE!

 

[Roos2001]

Very clever Bubba.......very clever!!

 

[magpie_joffa]

LOL....I HOPE I GET TO KICK GUMP OUT ON HIS FAT ARROGANT ASS

 

[BUBBALOUIS]

Day15. Once again it is the day when nominations are due. Joffa tells everyone individually that he thinks RF1 is a whore. He also points out that anyone who wants to stay at his flat when the show is finished is welcome to come and visit. RF1 and DAN25 are nominated by the housemates to leave. Nobody votes for Joffa

Day 16. The nominations are announced. RF1 cant believe shes been voted out two weeks in a row. DAN25 is equally stunned and turns ti RF1 for comfort. Bubba is distraught and confesses to Mantis that he thinks he is in love with DAN25. mANTIS SAYS SHE DOESNT FANCY ANY OF THE HOUSEMATES BECAUSE THEYRE all just too heterosexual and shes a lesbian, you know

Day 17. The public vote DAN25 out of the house. RF1 is gutted and even gives DAN25 a clipping of hair from her bosom to prove how much she cares. Bubba is also devastated but keeps his hair to himself. DAN25 leaves

Day 19. Big Brother sets the housemates the task of burping the Port Adelaide Power song in 60 seconds. They gamble 50% of the food budget on completing it.

Day 20. Nobody has a clue what the Power song sounds like but Bubba says hes heard it when at the footy recently and it sounds a bit like Dancing Queen. The housemates choose Joffa as the one to do it


MORE INSTALMENTS SHORTLY

 

[BUBBALOUIS]

Day 21. Joffa successfully burps not only the Power song but also the Geelong song, Freo Dockers Song and the theme tune to Friday Night Football. He is proclaimed as a hero, despite the fact that a vote in a tabloid newspaper shows that 98% of the public want to kill him

Day 22. Nominations are due and Joffa tells everyone that he has a villa in the South of France and they can all come and stay for a holiday. Bubba and Mantis are nominated

Day 23. Bubba and Mantis take there nominations well and sit down with Joffa and RF1 to discuss why they voted for them. Joffa keeps quiet but RF1 accuses Bubba of being an arrogant, lazy,self centred bum before bursting into tears.

Day 24. The public vote Mantis out of the house and nobody really gives a ********. Mantis leaves

Day 25. Joffa becomes the first housemate to have a wank. This footage goes down well with the Big Brother psychologist who proclaims that it gives us a true insight into the working of Joffas mind and brings out his true personality. In other words hes a ........

Day 26. Big Brother sets the remaining three housemates the task of shifting 5000 tonnes of Port supporters dung using only a Wooden Spoon. Joffa is unsure but Bubba is confident, claiming to have done something very similar last week. They gamble 50 % of the food budget

Day 27. Completely out of the blue, Bubba breaks down in tears and announces that he is leaving. He claims that it is because the dung shifting task has brought back the painful memories of the PA incident from last week. RF1 tries to persuade him to stay but Joffa sits in a corner, rubbing his hands slyly, Bubba decides to leave

Day 28. With only two housemates remaining, the Power supporters dung task proves impossible. They fail miserably and resort to getting extremely pissed on some vegetable wine, made by RF1 from a couple of mouldy carrots found in the Big Brother garden

Day 29. Nominations are due for the final time. Joffa asks to marry RF1 and RF1 accepts. Unsurprisingly Joffa nominates RF1 to leave. Rather more surprising so does RF1

Day 30. When the nomination is announced, RF1 graciously accepts defeat and proclaims Joffa a worthy winner. As they are soon to marry, RF1 also agrees to shag him. The event is broadcast live to the nation and is preceeded by a speech from the PM. Everyone in the Big Brother production crew breathe a huge sigh of relief as viewing figures go through the roof. Joffa takes his $250,000 and runs away to Collingwood. Nobody, including RF1, ever sees him again


THE END

Hope i didnt offend anyone,lol

 

[Richmondfan#1]

Magnificent stuff Bubba!

But why did i come second? Why not first?
I demand answers! lol

Well done, however poor mantis .

And Bubba, i would never say those horrible things about you .

 

[Chris_23]

All class Bubba, that was great!

 

[Dave]

Hate to be a party pooper, but isn't there a website that will generate this sort of stuff for you if you supply it with people's names?

Pssst, promise to keep me out of it & I wont tell anyone

 

[magpie_joffa]

YEAHHHHHHH IM THE WINNER......

YEAAAAAAH


LOL...LOL....LOL.....LOL

WHERE IS MY CHEQUE BUBBA LAY IT ON ME BABY.

 

[sainter]

Bubba,

Wasn't that another Fat Alberton post with Eddie, Caro, Cathy Freeman and John Elliott replaced by Joffa, RF, Mantis and Dan?

Oh well, with some of the Big Footy regulars put in I reckon it is just as funny the second time anyway.

 

[BUBBALOUIS]

Yes i confess, i plagiarised the whole thing! Anyway i hope you all got a laugh out of it, i did when i first saw it. It is an email that has been going around where you put in six names and it creates the story line for you, pretty clever really.

Joff id give you the cash, really, but as the last post suggests we cant find you!

 

[Seth]

Who cares where it came from. Thanks for sharing it with us Bubba.