Well - let me speak as a guy who got married on the weekend.
My wife wasn't in white. She DID have a dress made by a top class "name" Perth designer, which can be dismantled into two beautiful skirts and a top, all of which will be used again many many times - for considerably less than your average wedding dress.
I needed a suit so I bought mine, and my groomsmen all used their own suits.
Interestingly, my wife wanted her bridesmaids to go out and buy dresses they liked and would wear again and again - or even use dresses they already owned - to reduce the cost factor as pointed out by BB - but they actually WANTED to have "bridesmaid" style dresses... go figure?
The reception - well we had 120 guests and we looked into all sorts of cost cutting opportunities, but by crikey whichever way you look at it they are bloody expensive. So all up it was about $90 a head - but bugger it if you go to a ball or whatever that sets you back just as much, but with a wedding you get about 70% back in presents - and with the advent of the bridal registry (which we did online with many many shops and guests were engouraged to ignore the list and just buy from the heart) you basically get things you needed anyway for your new life. So it really is not all that expensive.
And I'll tell you this knowing what a ********ing brilliant night I had with all our matews drunk, soinging, dancing and going absolutely insanely off in a huge way, I'd certainly not change a thing given the chance. Well worth the $$$ - but easy to say because my folks did pay quite a bit of it.
All up I would have to say about: $18,000. Crikey!!!! What was I thinking!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!