Preview BigFooty Swans Board VS The Team Formerly Known As The Bye

sataris

Perfect Marshmallow
Feb 15, 2015
5,699
10,859
Singapore
AFL Club
Sydney
Ladies and Gentlemen and@miggs (RIP)

It is with greatest pride and deepest pleasure, that I bring to you tonight.

The latest and greatest form of bye round entertainment that money can offer.

A fantastic new preview thread IN THREE PARTS of five .

As a slight (major) deviation from previous bye round threads, where I randomly select posters (who all happen to agree with me on various subjects) into random positions, and ******** everyone who doesn't get a run, I've decided to be as inclusive (elitist) as possible.

In order to make that happen, Not only will I be creating a best 22, but an entire club from the ground up.

From groundskeepers, to ball boys (Cheval), Media to players and Kurt Tippet.

And to make things more interesting. THEMES, because themed rounds are the best rounds.

This bye round is (not) sponsored by



HOW THIS WILL WORK
Each Part will detail various parts of a club.

Part 1 will be focused on the business and financial side, administrators, accountants, list managers etc
Part 2 will be focused on the media, catering, cheer squad members, physios, masseurs and other positions that involve the rubbing of oil onto players (Ticky009 )
Part 3 will be focused on the playing squad. As a slight twist, if you want to be part of the best 22 (the first 22 to post, will be inducted as the best 22).
  • Note the brilliant way I've made myself not responsible for people not being picked (yay!)
Part 4 will be dedicated to our opposition for this round.
Part 5 the match.

To keep the suspense and tension going, I will be adding part 1 tomorrow.
 

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sataris

Perfect Marshmallow
Feb 15, 2015
5,699
10,859
Singapore
AFL Club
Sydney
Our esteemed and wonderful club .

Headquarters



Chief Financial Officer: RW

He absolutely does not embezzle any of the funds raised by the board for redback memberships. AT ALL

Here's a latest photo of RW



Head Recruiter: swansfan51


7 / 2893 = Tom Mitchell is a good player

Head of Customer & Community: Cloud_



"Our community of loyal members are our biggest asset" - Cloud_

Head of Media & Communications: scaryness



"I know we're on the air, I don't care. I'm not saying anything until i get my bagel" - scaryness
 
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sataris

Perfect Marshmallow
Feb 15, 2015
5,699
10,859
Singapore
AFL Club
Sydney
Why write my own preview of St.Kilda, the worst team in the history of planet Earth.

Actually St Kilda is the most unsuccessful professional top division sports team in any sport, in any country, in the history of earth.

I've said this twice before and challenged anyone to disprove the claim by providing a worse example - nobody has been able to. The benchmarks are least championships won per year (1/118) and most last-placed finishes per year (27/118 or almost 1 in 4). Try for a team that has existed for more than 20 years (IE not a team that started last year and finished last once for 100% wooden spoon rate).

Some examples of unsuccessful challengers are:

Sacramento Kings (the most wooden spoons of any NBA franchise, but far less often than St Kilda, and 1 championship in far less seasons)
Arizona Cardinals (most wooden spoons in the NFL, but far less often than St Kilda and they've won 2 championships)
Chicago Cubs (yeah they went over a hundred years without winning, but still have more championships than St Kilda and far less wooden spoons)
Western Suburbs Magpies (managed to rack up an impressive 17 spoons, but that's still way behind St Kilda, and they won 4 premierships)
Cardiff City (absolute debacle of a soccer club but they have finished last a lot less often and actually managed to win an FA cup)
 
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Kirkswan

Premium Platinum
May 10, 2014
4,125
7,296
Sydney
AFL Club
Sydney
Ladies and Gentlemen and@miggs (RIP)

It is with greatest pride and deepest pleasure, that I bring to you tonight.

The latest and greatest form of bye round entertainment that money can offer.

A fantastic new preview thread IN THREE PARTS of five .

As a slight (major) deviation from previous bye round threads, where I randomly select posters (who all happen to agree with me on various subjects) into random positions, and ******** everyone who doesn't get a run, I've decided to be as inclusive (elitist) as possible.

In order to make that happen, Not only will I be creating a best 22, but an entire club from the ground up.

From groundskeepers, to ball boys (Cheval), Media to players and Kurt Tippet.

And to make things more interesting. THEMES, because themed rounds are the best rounds.

This bye round is (not) sponsored by



HOW THIS WILL WORK
Each Part will detail various parts of a club.

Part 1 will be focused on the business and financial side, administrators, accountants, list managers etc
Part 2 will be focused on the media, catering, cheer squad members, physios, masseurs and other positions that involve the rubbing of oil onto players (Ticky009 )
Part 3 will be focused on the playing squad. As a slight twist, if you want to be part of the best 22 (the first 22 to post, will be inducted as the best 22).
  • Note the brilliant way I've made myself not responsible for people not being picked (yay!)
Part 4 will be dedicated to our opposition for this round.
Part 5 the match.

To keep the suspense and tension going, I will be adding part 1 tomorrow.
Sounds brilliant! Can't wait!
 

brad cooper

Club Legend
Jul 5, 2014
2,320
3,466
AFL Club
Sydney
Im nominating, after being overlooked last year, ive had a big 12 months preparing for the draft.

43 years old
192 cm
80kg

I had a look on the phantom drafts on big footy most have me going as a very late speculative pick. One recruiter is on record as saying,

" tall midfielder with very little skills, will run all day without finding the footy. Poor mark for his size. Having said that, very team orientated, always the first in the bar and keeps social club profits high."
 

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John Longmire

Debutant
Jun 20, 2017
92
428
AFL Club
Sydney
Hmmm...’Horse’ & ‘Mick Oxlong’ in a dick measuring competition for the coaches job. Lucky I have a plan B!
Considering I have the nickname Horse I'd say I have you covered easily in the dick measuring competition for anything. In regards to Plan B, only losers need a backup. My Plan A is flawless.

So there goes my competition. Guess I am head coach.
 

Mick Oxlong

Norm Smith Medallist
Oct 27, 2007
9,633
10,621
AFL Club
Sydney
Considering I have the nickname Horse I'd say I have you covered easily in the dick measuring competition for anything. In regards to Plan B, only losers need a backup. My Plan A is flawless.

So there goes my competition. Guess I am head coach.
Hold up there fella, the proof is in the wetsuit, as we know it is your favourite attire (assuredly to prevent shrinkage)! Happy for you to organize a time during your Tuesday morning presser but prepared for an ass to be made of the horse!
 
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