Preview BigFooty Swans Board VS The Team Formerly Known As The Bye

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Unfortunately Life has decided to kick me square in the vagina.

I'll see what I can do.

Hi Sataris, do not burst a boiler over this esp if you are having an ordinary time of things. It is not worth it.

 

[swansfan51]

Linking this recommended reading for anyone who missed it

https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/swans-bigfooty-board-vs-the-pre-finals-bye.1175861/

 

[S120]

Linking this recommended reading for anyone who missed it

https://www.bigfooty.com/forum/threads/swans-bigfooty-board-vs-the-pre-finals-bye.1175861/

Being omitted from this side is either the biggest or smallest insult in my time on this board. I still haven't decided which.

 

[The King!]

Being omitted from this side is either the biggest or smallest insult in my time on this board. I still haven't decided which.

I was dean towers .....

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

I was dean towers .....

... but still you did not make "the difference".

 

[kelpie_X]

I shot gun being Ticky's assistant rubbing the players down.

When the Team is as follows....
The Team

TheMase @Cheval Kirkswan
Ticky009 Mick Oxlong brad cooper
Bonz Jewelsbon Banyo Bloods
caesar88 The King! Johnboi
MarkP SilentHunter_ CheapCharlie
GotTheGoodes mtooler Tuco

Int: Troystenvic Nebley puke Kapanis Skeparovic

Coach: grimlock
Assistant Coach: Punts
Buddy oiler-upper: sataris


Ooooooooh no thanks. You can have that job

 

[Mick Oxlong]

When the Team is as follows....
The Team

TheMase @Cheval Kirkswan
Ticky009 Mick Oxlong brad cooper
Bonz Jewelsbon Banyo Bloods
caesar88 The King! Johnboi
MarkP SilentHunter_ CheapCharlie
GotTheGoodes mtooler Tuco

Int: Troystenvic Nebley puke Kapanis Skeparovic

Coach: grimlock
Assistant Coach: Punts
Buddy oiler-upper: sataris


Ooooooooh no thanks. You can have that job

Oh *...I got the arse from Coach? Oh well, I’ll take the $6M on offer from Norf but not until I enjoy a few more ‘ice baths’ with Cuzza!

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

So, OK the BF Bloods Board is down a few champs who are on the injured list. It does not matter. Our mob are up against an absolute filth team that we will never lose against.

This is the provisional Bye Team we are up against on Sunday 16 June. They are a pack of cheating dishonest ********. Undoubtedly their provisional team team listed below will have have many ring-ins before the game starts at 3.20 on Sunday. The BF Bloods Board has the chance to replace/guess the ring-ins the evil empire will will finally pit against our noble flag waving team.

B David King (1) Jack Hamilton (2) Kevin Sheedy (3)
HB West Coast Drug Dealer (4) Gil McLaughlin (5) Melbourne Media (6)
C Dick Pratt (7) Ian Stewart (8) Andrew Demetriou (9)
HF Edward McGuire (10) Michael Thatfatprick (11) Brereton (12)
F Buckenara (13) Brian Taylor (14) Rupert Murdoch (15)
R John Nicholls (16) Bob Chitty (17) Allan Aylett (18)
I/C Ignorant Sydney Media (19), Rotten Ronnie Andrews (20), Norf (21), Carlton Football Club (22)

player notes
1 Port Melbourne FC's one shameful player. Perpetual enemy of the Bloods.
2 VFL henchman. Played a key role in relocation of SMFC.
3 Filthy cheap shot Richmond thug and sometime Doper coach. Still whinges about Pluggers point
4 Played key role in matches v Bloods 2005-07
5 COLA removal, trade ban - nuff said
6 Perpetual vindictiveness dating back to the 50s
7 Crim but white collar, so no gaol. Bought SMFC memberships to try and stack the vote on relocation
8 Champ player, appalling coach, strange person. Traded Terry and unsighted Neal for stale Colvan chips aka a handy centreman and nice bloke in Nifty Fields. In so doing famously kneecapped our Club for yonks.
9 'Ugly football', he claimed. Monstrous administrator
10 Implacable enemy of our Club. His racism was a just a mistake, belittling our number one member was 'taken out of context?'
11 Ignorant racist, punitive pig. Ex Carlton.
12 Came for money, contributed zero, cowardly sniper of Goodes and Club
13 Diabolical career destroying coach
14 Thug, Boring, aptly banned by our Club for Roamin' Bryan
15 Campaigned for relocation. Enemy of truth and decent people.
16 Thug and master of the squirrel grip. Always hammered Bobby. The wonderful Ken Boyd delivered wondrous retribution.
17 Psychopath Carlton player, instigator of the Blood Bath.
18 Brown-bagged two tainted Premierships at Norf, pinching Mopsy Rantall. Hated South and engineered the move to Sydney.
19 Never heard of our Club
20 Doper thug and pig shooter. Squealed like a stuck pig after Stewie Gull gave him a comeuppance.
21 Our game comprises many wondrous things. Norf is none of that.
22 Crims. Stole umpteen of our players.

So OK unless the Mods decide the above is in worse taste than my standard posts and deletes it, I suggest this is the basis of the Bye team our Board team plays against tomorrow. No doubt there are others who could replace those I have suggested. All such suggestions are welcomed and will be considered. I will name the final list of our Bye Opponents tomorrow at 12.00pm.

As for our Board team to take on these snake oil merchants, I am going with the wonderful team selected by kelpie_X. (see above)

I will provide an entirely unbiased summation of each quarter commencing on Sunday arvo. It will not be as detailed as that provided by Sataris last year, but retributive justice may be anticipated.

 

[The King!]

I’ve taken the captaincy cheers

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

done.... of course with that will come awesome responsibilities in dealing with our more filthy opponents... what I am saying they are all filthy

 

[Kapanis]

Was a great read last year sataris, dont blame you for having to come up with that quality of copy every year.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Given Sataris' injury, if there are no objections I will do a much more down scaled version.

The Bye Team named above was already formidable. The challenge for our heroes has just got steeper.

Bye Team President Jack Elliot has used his influence with the powers that be. The Result is that he has been allowed to nominate the three Umps who will officiate tomorrow.

They are Crouch, McLaren and Jeffries.

 

[Kapanis]

Given Sataris' injury, if there are no objections I will do a much more down scaled version.

The Bye Team named above was already formidable. The challenge for our heroes has just got steeper.

Bye Team President Jack Elliot has used his influence with the powers that be. The Result is that he has been allowed to nominate the three Umps who will officiate tomorrow.

They are Crouch, McLaren and Jeffries.

Jeffrey, never say that name again, repeat never. Still shits me till this day.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Jeffrey, never say that name again, repeat never. Still ****s me till this day.

You did not see Crouch umpire against us at the Lake Oval. McLaren was such a bad umpire that I bit my tongue, overcame my loathing, brushed the moths from my wallet and donated a few bucks to help cover the fine The Hird (when he was a player) copped for speaking the truth about McLaren.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

BF Swans Board Coach Grimlock has confirmed there are no changes to the team. Bye Team Coach Clarkson has made a similar confirmation. There is some controversy about the ground where the match will be played. Jack Elliot insisted it be played at Prince's Park. The BFSB has agreed although many on the Board are calling it Republican Park and are insisting that no Corgis be allowed in the ground.

BF Swans Board
TheMase McEvoy Kirkswan
Ticky009 Mick Oxlong brad cooper
Bonz Jewelsbon Banyo Bloods
caesar88 The King! Johnboi
MarkP SilentHunter_ CheapCharlie
GotTheGoodes mtooler Tuco

Int: Troystenvic Nebley puke Kapanis Skeparovic

Coach: grimlock
Assistant Coach: Punts
Buddy oiler-upper: sataris[/QUOTE]

The Bye
B David King (1) Jack Hamilton (2) Kevin Sheedy (3)
HB West Coast Drug Dealer (4) Gil McLaughlin (5) Melbourne Media (6)
C Dick Pratt (7) Ian Stewart (8) Andrew Demetriou (9)
HF Edward McGuire (10) Michael Thatfatprick (11) Brereton (12)
F Buckenara (13) Brian Taylor (14) Rupert Murdoch (15)
R John Nicholls (16) Bob Chitty (17) Allan Aylett (18)
I/C Ignorant Sydney Media (19), Rotten Ronnie Andrews (20), Norf (21), Carlton Football Club (22)[/QUOTE]

The game at Prince's/Republican Park will today covered by the Channel Best BF Board. Joining myself will be the ghosts of Laurie Nash and Ron Clegg (former and much missed SMFC champs) and Ray the Slug Jordan (my all time favourite commentator).

It is understood that several other ghosts queued overnight to gain seats on the fence. Three are believed to be Jack (Basher) Williams, Mike Willessee and Bob Hawke. We are sure this will make for interesting support from the crowd for our heroes.

In a further interesting development the donut stand from the old Lake Oval has materialised at the ground. bedford connolly and swansproudly are already there with coffees and bags of those donuts that always had screamingly hot jam.

Bedford, Connolly and Swans Proudly have joined many other BF Swans Board members who are watching the kids and grandkids of Board members play U12s. A certain 6 year old, renowned for tipping the Bloods, is starring as an under ager.

Well that's all from here. It is six hours until the big game kicks off.

 

[SwansProudly]

BF Swans Board Coach Grimlock has confirmed there are no changes to the team. Bye Team Coach Clarkson has made a similar confirmation. There is some controversy about the ground where the match will be played. Jack Elliot insisted it be played at Prince's Park. The BFSB has agreed although many on the Board are calling it Republican Park and are insisting that no Corgis be allowed in the ground.

BF Swans Board
TheMase McEvoy Kirkswan
Ticky009 Mick Oxlong brad cooper
Bonz Jewelsbon Banyo Bloods
caesar88 The King! Johnboi
MarkP SilentHunter_ CheapCharlie
GotTheGoodes mtooler Tuco

Int: Troystenvic Nebley puke Kapanis Skeparovic

Coach: grimlock
Assistant Coach: Punts
Buddy oiler-upper: sataris

The Bye
B David King (1) Jack Hamilton (2) Kevin Sheedy (3)
HB West Coast Drug Dealer (4) Gil McLaughlin (5) Melbourne Media (6)
C Dick Pratt (7) Ian Stewart (8) Andrew Demetriou (9)
HF Edward McGuire (10) Michael Thatfatprick (11) Brereton (12)
F Buckenara (13) Brian Taylor (14) Rupert Murdoch (15)
R John Nicholls (16) Bob Chitty (17) Allan Aylett (18)
I/C Ignorant Sydney Media (19), Rotten Ronnie Andrews (20), Norf (21), Carlton Football Club (22)

The game at Prince's/Republican Park will today covered by the Channel Best BF Board. Joining myself will be the ghosts of Laurie Nash and Ron Clegg (former and much missed SMFC champs) and Ray the Slug Jordan (my all time favourite commentator).

It is understood that several other ghosts queued overnight to gain seats on the fence. Three are believed to be Jack (Basher) Williams, Mike Willessee and Bob Hawke. We are sure this will make for interesting support from the crowd for our heroes.

In a further interesting development the donut stand from the old Lake Oval has materialised at the ground. bedford connolly and swansproudly are already there with coffees and bags of those donuts that always had screamingly hot jam.

Bedford, Connolly and Swans Proudly have joined many other BF Swans Board members who are watching the kids and grandkids of Board members play U12s. A certain 6 year old, renowned for tipping the Bloods, is starring as an under ager.

Well that's all from here. It is six hours until the big game kicks off.

Love the acknowledgement to Basher, Willesee and Hawke.

Thanks Bloodied52 - I never thought the memory of the Lake Oval donuts would bring me to tears.
Troystenvic may your daughter always have lots of

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Love the acknowledgement to Basher, Willesee and Hawke.

Thanks Bloodied52 - I never thought the memory of the Lake Oval donuts would bring me to tears.
Troystenvic may your daughter always have lots of

Sugar forever on our lips.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

11.30 Bulletin. Tedeski. and Kirkswan have flown in. BruceFromBalnarring has driven up in a chariot pulled by unicorns. Shyte the commentary team is nervous. Cleggy, Nashy and I are nervous. "there will be no talk of coaching". Slug Jordan says, "He done well".

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Commentary Team, minus B52 who has fled for his 5th Snag and onions despite there being no hot mustard - "There is a late change for the Bye. Starry starry Bye player, West Coast Drug Dealer, has missed her interconnecting flight from Columbia".

It seems that a swifty has been pulled. Fundamental Aussie Racist Turkey (FART) has been called up. West Coast Drug Dealer had been in good(?) form providing consistent supply to the proverbial noses of the Bye Forwards. Allegedly the Bye's forwards such as Edward McGuire and Brereton had benefitted from supply from this champ player.

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Umpires are out having a run around.

Laurie Nash, "None of those bastwards would give me a free."
Ron Clegg, "Never needed a free to dominate"
Slug Jordan, "Did I just hear those three campaigners practising their call - #free kick Bye?"

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Sensation at Prince's/Republican Park in the pre game warm ups.

Bob Chitty had a dust up with Mick Oxlong. Mick handled himself well until he was put down by Brereton, Ghost Jack Basher Williams has jumped the fence and decked both Chitty and Brereton and also laid out Buckenara who was was caught tossing out cut glass on the Swans Board warm up area.

Umpire McLaren has paid a free and fifty to the Bye even though the game is not due to start for 3 hours. The ghost of Basher is heard laughing as Michael Thatfatprick kicks out on the full.

McEvoy cuffs Edward McGuire in the ensuing melee. Mick Oxlong gets up off the ground and gives Brian Taylor a fearful clocking - results in BT being unable tell time with a labrador that is smarter than him.

Umpire Jeffrey is caught on the mike saying, "free kick dogs, free kick dogs." Umps McLaren and Crouch tick him off saying, "Save it for the game".

Ticky009 captures this and posts it. Ghost of Hawkey says it is time we came together as a Board and strove for consensus. Ghost of Basher says, "**** this. Lets get get stuck in. This is the Blood Bath Mk2. No oppo prisoners can be taken.

 

[Ticky009]

This is awesome Bloodied52. And we’re only at the warm up!

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

The Blood Bath Mk2. Quarter 1.

Umpire Crouch has bounced the ball.

GotTheGoodes with an almighty leap that leaves john Nichollls gasping from a Knee to the throat puts the tap into Tuco's gob. Tuco is clocked by Ian Stewart (who whispers to him - would you like to go to the Dopers). Tuco retaliates (with the full support of the BF Swans Board) ..... free kick free kick free kick intones Jeffrey.

The Bye moves it forward. Simple mark to Buckenara after significant unpenalised interference from Edward McGuire and Melbourne media. No issue squeaks McLaren, "Take 50 Bucky. It's the Prelim all over again." Slots it from the goal square.

The Bye 1-0-6, BFSB 0-0-0

Back to the centre for the bounce. Plenty of stuff going on off the ball. SilentHunter_ has gone berko. .

Nashy, "SilentHunter_ may be the best forward we have had since ... erm.... well me. There is no reason why SH should put up with this."

MarkP gets involved and exchanges right crosses against the faux left jabs from Gil McLaughlin.

Cleggy, " TheKing, Jewelsbon and Kirkswan have been reported. It is a badge of honour. That sneak Rupert Murdoch deserved that.

Slug, "they done well the Kids".

B52, absent still looking for hot mustard.


Ok, around the 10 minute mark, the Bye has the upper hand. The mortal enemy is 1-3-9 and the good folk are 0-0-0. The injury toll on both sides is as appalling as that of any side in an unjust war our country likes to enter (oops).

Against the run of play TheMaze gathers the ball deep in deep D50. He bounces and runs like a mad man (listening to suggested what I am listening to Swans BF tropes). He zigs like this and (you guessed it) zags like that. He passes to Jewelsbon who flicks it back in a beautiful one-two. TheMaze keeps his eyes down and delivers a pin point lace out pass to caesar88 .

Nashy, "caesar88 takes a long run from 45M dead in front (or as me) and dobs it.

The Bye 1-3-9, BFSB 1-0-6

Back in the centre. Jeffrey bounces. It favours the Bye and is not called back. Somehow Bonz manages to iron out Ian Stewart, gets the pozzie and flips it to Jewelsbon who under enormous pressure, including Umpire McLaren attempting to tackle her delivers a 40M stab pass to TheKing.

Nashy, "He is a fellow Tasmanian, probably a rello and besides I taught him everything I know. Even though he is a little slow."

Dobs it.

Q time - Enemy Bye 1-3-9, BF SB 2-0-12

 

[Kirkswan]

Lovely work Bloodied52 !!! You're a natural at this!

 

[Grand Uncle Horace]

Lovely work Bloodied52 !!! You're a natural at this!

Meh... just doing a one off covering for the indisposed wonderful sataris .

Congrats in being reported!