Bombervirus

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Norma Lee Ava said:
In breaking news on Dragon Island, CazC30 was seen heading to training in self protection mode.
SFA officials laughed out loud at an unnamed captain nicknamed 'Brackish" who emphatically stated " There's nothing to see here" but applauded the journeywoman for her quirky leadership.
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I think that face mask is covering the wrong area... I maybe wrong.
Noobz0r said:
Geez, it doesn't take much to get a mention in this thread.
Click to expand...
You and me both bruv.
 
Norma Lee Ava said:
In an unprecedented border closure the SFA heavyweights have voted to close Iraq's borders to prevent the spread of "Bombervirus".
This particular strain was first mentioned by NaturalDisaster today and the irony was not lost on the SFA community.
"The time to prevent more epidemics is now!" said one captain off the record.

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Barrybran who claims that he delisted TalkingFootyNow1223 stated " There's nothing to see here!" and pundits thought he must have been talking about his match thread.

Not surprisingly, TalkingFootyNow1223 desired team of choice was the controversial Baghdad Bombers for the tidy sum of 700 dinars per game with a few rider/clauses not made public to scribes. :devil:

There is no rule that says the player has to wait 4 weeks ....or until the midseason trade period but despite this Far Cough They're Full signs were hurriedly deployed on all border crossings leading to Baghdad in a forlorn attempt to prevent the spread of Bombervirus.
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3C) Eligibility to sign players

Restricted Free Agency

After the squad submission deadline, listed players are contracted to their club. However, any players delisted during the season (that were on the original squad) can be signed as a delisted free agent by any other club

Was TalkingFootyNow1223 delisted .....yes
Did Barrybran amend his squad list .....yes

3C) Eligibility to sign players

Restricted Free Agency
  • They only qualify for RFA if they have been delisted by their club, not if they have walked out.
  • Restricted Free Agency eligibility ends four rounds prior to finals.
  • The administrator must approve the signing of any delisted player by his/her new team and reserves the right to defer to the committee for any further discussion should it be required.
  • If a delisted player does not qualify for Restricted Free Agency then they can only be re-signed by their original club for that season. This can be done freely with the agreement of both parties.
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Facemasks have been sold out in Fighting Furieville as the Furies flyout to Baghdad tomorrow for their Round 2 clash.

Frontman Tigerturbulance who was voted 'Sexiest Man Alive' by Qeople magazine recently didn't seem perturbed that his team would be forced to go through sheep dip troughs upon arrival back home. "Mate, I've caught worse things in Baghdad at the Camel and Goat Nightclub!"
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What a gold piece this is ….
 
The day would soon arrive when I could not ignore the rash
I was obviously ill and so I called on Doctor Hash
This standard consultation would adjudicate my fate
I walked into his surgery and I gave it to him straight

“Doc, I wonder if you might explain this allergy of mine
I get these pins and needles running up and down my spine
From there, across my body, it will suddenly extend
My neck will feel a shiver and the hairs will stand on end

And then there is that symptom that a woman can only fear
It’s a choking in the throat and the crying of a tear”
Well, the doctor scratched his melon with a rather worried look
His furrowed brow suggested that the news to come was crook

“What is it Doc?” I motioned “Have I got a rare disease?
I’m woman enough to cop it sweet so give it to me please”
“Well I’m not too sure” he answered, in a puzzled kind of way
“It seems you’ve got the Bombervirus but it’s hard for me to say

When is it that you feel this most peculiar condition?”
I thought for just a moment and then I gave him my position
“Doc, I get it when I’m standing in an Desert Storm parade
And I get it when the anthem of my native land is played

I get it when WFL makes a Demon-crunching run
And when Antonio BlueVein posts a really gutsy ton
And I got it back in ‘23 when Haro held the Cup
And I got it again in ‘24 when the Bombers backed it up

I get it when the Metalcrusher tries to drown his liver
And KohPhi posts a chicken gif that makes my tummy quiver
It hit me hard when Tony Lynn 15 damn smashed the DT points
And I get it when I see Coach Fatima scratching on her quoit

It flattens me when Riviat slams on a goal or two
And when Waynesworld drops a bloke whose banter just won’t do
So tell me Doc” I questioned “Am I really gonna die?”
He broke into a smile before he looked me in the eye

As he fumbled with his stethoscope and pushed it out of reach
He wiped away a tear and then he gave this stirring speech:
“From the Sand dunes here in Baghdad to the camels in your room
On the oasis banks of Mosul where the date palms are in bloom

From the Tigris River glimmering like a jewel encrusted sea
In the flattened mosques of Basrah, or a Tikrit gunjah tree
From the Babylonian harems to great sultans of Sumeria
The medical profession call it ‘Red and Black Malaria’

But forget about the textbooks love, the truth I shouldn’t hide
The rash that you’ve contracted here is ‘good old Bomber pride’
I’m afraid that you were born with it and one thing is for sure
You’ll die with it young lady before you come a whore”

Thank you to Rupert McCall for his case report.
 
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Norma Lee Ava said:
The day would soon arrive when I could not ignore the rash
I was obviously ill and so I called on Doctor Hash
This standard consultation would adjudicate my fate
I walked into his surgery and I gave it to him straight

“Doc, I wonder if you might explain this allergy of mine
I get these pins and needles running up and down my spine
From there, across my body, it will suddenly extend
My neck will feel a shiver and the hairs will stand on end

And then there is that symptom that a woman can only fear
It’s a choking in the throat and the crying of a tear”
Well, the doctor scratched his melon with a rather worried look
His furrowed brow suggested that the news to come was crook

“What is it Doc?” I motioned “Have I got a rare disease?
I’m woman enough to cop it sweet so give it to me please”
“Well I’m not too sure” he answered, in a puzzled kind of way
“It seems you’ve got the Bombervirus but it’s hard for me to say

When is it that you feel this most peculiar condition?”
I thought for just a moment and then I gave him my position
“Doc, I get it when I’m standing in an Desert Storm parade
And I get it when the anthem of my native land is played

I get it when WFL makes a Demon-crunching run
And when Antonio BlueVein posts a really gutsy ton
And I got it back in ‘23 when Haro held the Cup
And I got it again in ‘24 when the Bombers backed it up

I get it when the Metalcrusher tries to drown his liver
And KohPhi posts a chicken gif that makes my tummy quiver
It hit me hard when tony Lynn15 damn smashed the DT points
And I get it when I see Coach Fatima scratching on her quoit

It flattens me when Riviat slams on a goal or two
And when Waynesworld drops a bloke whose banter just won’t do
So tell me Doc” I questioned “Am I really gonna die?”
He broke into a smile before he looked me in the eye

As he fumbled with his stethoscope and pushed it out of reach
He wiped away a tear and then he gave this stirring speech:
“From the Sand dunes here in Baghdad to the camels in your room
On the oasis banks of Mosul where the date palms are in bloom

From the Tigris River glimmering like a jewel encrusted sea
In the flattened mosques of Basrah, or a Tikrit gunjah tree
From the Babylonian harems to great sultans of Sumeria
The medical profession call it ‘Red and Black Malaria’

But forget about the textbooks love, the truth I shouldn’t hide
The rash that you’ve contracted here is ‘good old Bomber pride’
I’m afraid that you were born with it and one thing is for sure
You’ll die with it young lady before you come a whore”

Thank you to Rupert McCall for his case report.
Click to expand...

TL;DR.
 
Norma Lee Ava said:
The day would soon arrive when I could not ignore the rash
I was obviously ill and so I called on Doctor Hash
This standard consultation would adjudicate my fate
I walked into his surgery and I gave it to him straight

“Doc, I wonder if you might explain this allergy of mine
I get these pins and needles running up and down my spine
From there, across my body, it will suddenly extend
My neck will feel a shiver and the hairs will stand on end

And then there is that symptom that a woman can only fear
It’s a choking in the throat and the crying of a tear”
Well, the doctor scratched his melon with a rather worried look
His furrowed brow suggested that the news to come was crook

“What is it Doc?” I motioned “Have I got a rare disease?
I’m woman enough to cop it sweet so give it to me please”
“Well I’m not too sure” he answered, in a puzzled kind of way
“It seems you’ve got the Bombervirus but it’s hard for me to say

When is it that you feel this most peculiar condition?”
I thought for just a moment and then I gave him my position
“Doc, I get it when I’m standing in an Desert Storm parade
And I get it when the anthem of my native land is played

I get it when WFL makes a Demon-crunching run
And when Antonio BlueVein posts a really gutsy ton
And I got it back in ‘23 when Haro held the Cup
And I got it again in ‘24 when the Bombers backed it up

I get it when the Metalcrusher tries to drown his liver
And KohPhi posts a chicken gif that makes my tummy quiver
It hit me hard when tony Lynn15 damn smashed the DT points
And I get it when I see Coach Fatima scratching on her quoit

It flattens me when Riviat slams on a goal or two
And when Waynesworld drops a bloke whose banter just won’t do
So tell me Doc” I questioned “Am I really gonna die?”
He broke into a smile before he looked me in the eye

As he fumbled with his stethoscope and pushed it out of reach
He wiped away a tear and then he gave this stirring speech:
“From the Sand dunes here in Baghdad to the camels in your room
On the oasis banks of Mosul where the date palms are in bloom

From the Tigris River glimmering like a jewel encrusted sea
In the flattened mosques of Basrah, or a Tikrit gunjah tree
From the Babylonian harems to great sultans of Sumeria
The medical profession call it ‘Red and Black Malaria’

But forget about the textbooks love, the truth I shouldn’t hide
The rash that you’ve contracted here is ‘good old Bomber pride’
I’m afraid that you were born with it and one thing is for sure
You’ll die with it young lady before you come a whore”

Thank you to Rupert McCall for his case report.
Click to expand...

#thebestinthebusiness

457.gif
 
Norma Lee Ava said:
The day would soon arrive when I could not ignore the rash
I was obviously ill and so I called on Doctor Hash
This standard consultation would adjudicate my fate
I walked into his surgery and I gave it to him straight

“Doc, I wonder if you might explain this allergy of mine
I get these pins and needles running up and down my spine
From there, across my body, it will suddenly extend
My neck will feel a shiver and the hairs will stand on end

And then there is that symptom that a woman can only fear
It’s a choking in the throat and the crying of a tear”
Well, the doctor scratched his melon with a rather worried look
His furrowed brow suggested that the news to come was crook

“What is it Doc?” I motioned “Have I got a rare disease?
I’m woman enough to cop it sweet so give it to me please”
“Well I’m not too sure” he answered, in a puzzled kind of way
“It seems you’ve got the Bombervirus but it’s hard for me to say

When is it that you feel this most peculiar condition?”
I thought for just a moment and then I gave him my position
“Doc, I get it when I’m standing in an Desert Storm parade
And I get it when the anthem of my native land is played

I get it when WFL makes a Demon-crunching run
And when Antonio BlueVein posts a really gutsy ton
And I got it back in ‘23 when Haro held the Cup
And I got it again in ‘24 when the Bombers backed it up

I get it when the Metalcrusher tries to drown his liver
And KohPhi posts a chicken gif that makes my tummy quiver
It hit me hard when tony Lynn15 damn smashed the DT points
And I get it when I see Coach Fatima scratching on her quoit

It flattens me when Riviat slams on a goal or two
And when Waynesworld drops a bloke whose banter just won’t do
So tell me Doc” I questioned “Am I really gonna die?”
He broke into a smile before he looked me in the eye

As he fumbled with his stethoscope and pushed it out of reach
He wiped away a tear and then he gave this stirring speech:
“From the Sand dunes here in Baghdad to the camels in your room
On the oasis banks of Mosul where the date palms are in bloom

From the Tigris River glimmering like a jewel encrusted sea
In the flattened mosques of Basrah, or a Tikrit gunjah tree
From the Babylonian harems to great sultans of Sumeria
The medical profession call it ‘Red and Black Malaria’

But forget about the textbooks love, the truth I shouldn’t hide
The rash that you’ve contracted here is ‘good old Bomber pride’
I’m afraid that you were born with it and one thing is for sure
You’ll die with it young lady before you come a whore”

Thank you to Rupert McCall for his case report.
Click to expand...

Banjo Patterson and Henry Lawson were hacks :thumbsu: :thumbsu:
 
11:00pm Eastern Fury Time
On Furies TV Network yesterday, banhammered captain WaynesWorld19 has assured Furies fans venturing to the Abdu Prison that the SFA are all over the Bombervirus like a cheap suit and that they should not be alarmed.
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8:30am Central Baghdad Time
This morning, WaynesWorld19 poured water on scurrilous suggestions that the virus was much worse in Baghdad stating that free face masks will be distributed before the game as a preventative measure and punters are not to kiss goats, camels or Tigerturbulance .
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For those wanting to know what happened to Tony Lynn 15 I can assure you he is fine.
He put himself into self isolation and can only go to the mailbox if he wears the Baghdad patented double protection facemask.
Of which I happen to have a drawer full.
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The Orangeboy was quickly designated as the source...he has been sacked put into quarantine.
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