Family & Relationships Breakups suck

[SHAKESPEARE]

I ignored a lot of warning signs

she didn't want to work, she wanted kids before she turned 21, she had no friends, she hated other women (I worked for a jeweller at the time, I got lectured on a regular basis about how I must perve on these girls all day, and then in turn she wouldn't talk to me like it was my fault), she'd mock me relentlessly especially around friends, my family was evil but hers were saints

just shit like that

 

[Smoooothy]

yep - I was a **** for staying as long as I did

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

yep - I was a **** for staying as long as I did

What was good about her?

 

[craigos]

I ignored a lot of warning signs

she didn't want to work, she wanted kids before she turned 21, she had no friends, she hated other women (I worked for a jeweller at the time, I got lectured on a regular basis about how I must perve on these girls all day, and then in turn she wouldn't talk to me like it was my fault), she'd mock me relentlessly especially around friends, my family was evil but hers were saints

just shit like that

Jesus bro, that sounds like a living hell. Were you school sweethearts? Kids before 21 is a very unusual practice by todays standards but sounds like she was happy to never work a day in her life, that's got to lead to some very bad habits developing later in life when the kids don't need you about.

 

[Smoooothy]

Jesus bro, that sounds like a living hell. Were you school sweethearts? Kids before 21 is a very unusual practice by todays standards but sounds like she was happy to never work a day in her life, that's got to lead to some very bad habits developing later in life when the kids don't need you about.

just out of school. I was 18 or 19, she was 17

 

[Smoooothy]

What was good about her?

I can't objectively answer that anymore

 

[CheapCharlie]

I ignored a lot of warning signs

she didn't want to work, she wanted kids before she turned 21, she had no friends, she hated other women (I worked for a jeweller at the time, I got lectured on a regular basis about how I must perve on these girls all day, and then in turn she wouldn't talk to me like it was my fault), she'd mock me relentlessly especially around friends, my family was evil but hers were saints

just shit like that

Given your age and lack of worldly experience you can't beat yourself up in any way

Id be looking at it as a great learning experience and one you got young

As you have been self aware of issues, and hopefully applied the same blow torch to yourself, it makes future relationships easier because you don't make the same mistakes.

That's the theory anyway...
Some guys go from one bad relationship straight into the next

 

[craigos]

just out of school. I was 18 or 19, she was 17

Lose your virginity? I know the old line was make sure you keep your virginity for someone special but I disagree. If it's someone you trust then great but I wouldn't advise future Craigos to do the same, don't need that baby batter brain clouding your judgement and if it's a your first love then damn, too many chemicals in that young brain to allow for clear thinking.

 

[Scotland]

If you're young and have someone special then by all means do the romantic first time thing and don't throw a relationship away to chase some skank, but if you're a standard awkward teenager just take whatever opportunity presents itself and don't overthink it. Reading the awkward flirting stories thread is a mixture of facepalming and amusement when you are 25 or 30 but as a teenager would be genuinely eye opening.

 

[Billy ray]

This is becoming a big disconnect between men and women

More and more guys are seeing marriage as a raw one sided deal. Those who have been through a marriage and don't want to risk assets later in life, and those in their twenties who have seen the bad deal it can be for guys

don't need to be married to have assets at risk - for either party. under the law defactos and married are the same

 

[SHAKESPEARE]

don't need to be married to have assets at risk - for either party. under the law defactos and married are the same

Yup. Been with the missus 18 years, and we have owned a property for 2 years.

We don't want to marry but she has me by the short and curlies regardless

 

[Always Ballin]

consider yourself lucky to have experienced it at all

i am too hideous for a girl to ever love me

i'd end it all right now if it weren't for these prozacs

 

[MisterB]

I broke up with my last girlfriend (almost 9 years ago now) because after 2 years of dating I caught an STD (the clap) off her, She tried to convince me that she caught it from a guy who was dancing on her at a party.. but yeah, I called bullshit on that.

What?

 

[dales.girl38]

You've 100 percent done the right thing, relationships might be about compromise but you need to also have your needs met or there is no point. And moving back to save up isn't a failure, you just have to do what is right for you now and future you won't regret it.

I'm like you, I'd liked to get married one day so I couldn't be with someone who doesn't want that.

Yeah for sure - the three main problems, marriage, kids and location were all things you can't meet half way on, and I was going to be the one to miss out on all of them. I know I did the right thing and I'm lucky I get along so well with my parents, but god knows how I'm going to meet my next boyfriend haha, not going to want to bring him back to my childhood bedroom!

I don't want a big expensive wedding, I just want the commitment of someone choosing me for life.

This is becoming a big disconnect between men and women

More and more guys are seeing marriage as a raw one sided deal. Those who have been through a marriage and don't want to rick assets later in life, and those in their twenties who have seen the bad deal it can be for guys

I guess, but de facto relationships can have similar ramifications. I'd also say it can be a bad deal for the breadwinner, my ex was unemployed the first 18 months after graduation and I'm still earning more than him

 

[perthblue]

I ignored a lot of warning signs

she didn't want to work, she wanted kids before she turned 21, she had no friends, she hated other women (I worked for a jeweller at the time, I got lectured on a regular basis about how I must perve on these girls all day, and then in turn she wouldn't talk to me like it was my fault), she'd mock me relentlessly especially around friends, my family was evil but hers were saints

just shit like that

What's her e-mail address?

I don't want a big expensive wedding, I just want the commitment of someone choosing me for life.

This is so sweet. What's your e-mail address?

 

[revo333]

I didn't know how to answer her - She nearly cancelled their date because he was 'too hot' and he should have had a girlfriend therefore there must be something wrong with him

What a ridiculously low self esteem - it's quite tragic

I'm sorry to hear you had similar feelings?

I have the same problem with online dating, Girls always seem to be suspicious and paranoid on why i am single.

 

[CheapCharlie]

I have the same problem with online dating, Girls always seem to be suspicious and paranoid on why i am single.

And yet...
They are single too

 

[CheapCharlie]

I guess, but de facto relationships can have similar ramifications. I'd also say it can be a bad deal for the breadwinner, my ex was unemployed the first 18 months after graduation and I'm still earning more than him [/QUOTE]

Not surprised you guys didn't work out if you enjoyed gloating about earning more than him

 

[revo333]

And yet...
They are single too

And most will be single forever.

 

[Cuzz09]

My GF hasnt worked the nearly whole 5 years weve been together.

She has a slight disability so makes it hard to find steady work due to being on her feet all day and cant drive.

Doesnt bother me.

My ex was the opposite made more than me and was stressed all the time and rarely happy.

Money isnt everything. It helps but yeah... s'all good baby [emoji41]

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app

 

[dales.girl38]

I guess, but de facto relationships can have similar ramifications. I'd also say it can be a bad deal for the breadwinner, my ex was unemployed the first 18 months after graduation and I'm still earning more than him

Not surprised you guys didn't work out if you enjoyed gloating about earning more than him

Haha. He'll overtake me in a year or two, no biggie. Plus he was fine with me supporting him through his 18 months of unemployment, while he also didn't qualify for Centrelink

 

[Perth gal]

My GF hasnt worked the nearly whole 5 years weve been together.

She has a slight disability so makes it hard to find steady work due to being on her feet all day and cant drive.

Doesnt bother me.

My ex was the opposite made more than me and was stressed all the time and rarely happy.

Money isnt everything. It helps but yeah... s'all good baby [emoji41]

On [device_name] using BigFooty.com mobile app

She can't get a receptionist job? Or similar?

 

[Silent Alarm]

She can't get a receptionist job? Or similar?

Shit like this is chased hard these days. Honestly even entry level gigs like this are a dream for most young women. In fact some would actually view it as some sort of serious career. I'm not shitting on anyone's gig, whatever, but the idea something like that is as easy as apply, apply, interview, apply, 'oh yeah! Got one!' is moot now.

Even if you got one, probably a good chance it's chronically underpaid with a heap of expected uncompensated overtime, farmed out to 'interns,' or some shitty part-time gig where they give you juuuuust enough to survive on but not enough to really feel valued or to value yourself.

Ignorant boomers don't understand how cactus the market is.

 

[perthblue]

Shit like this is chased hard these days. Honestly even entry level gigs like this are a dream for most young women. In fact some would actually view it as some sort of serious career. I'm not shitting on anyone's gig, whatever, but the idea something like that is as easy as apply, apply, interview, apply, 'oh yeah! Got one!' is moot now.

Even if you got one, probably a good chance it's chronically underpaid with a heap of expected uncompensated overtime, farmed out to 'interns,' or some shitty part-time gig where they give you juuuuust enough to survive on but not enough to really feel valued or to value yourself.

Ignorant boomers don't understand how cactus the market is.

This. Go on any job board and it's full of Receptionist/Admin Assistant/Data Entry. In reality these are entry-level shitkicker jobs, but they are highly sought after because they're in an office environment so you're at least surrounded by other adults and not high school kids.

I can't imagine how hard it'd be for someone in their 30's with no qualifications or marketable skills to find an entry level gig. Even dishpig jobs are prioritised for high school kids and people on working visas.

 

[Catfish Alley]

Is it really that bad? Australian unemployment is around 5% and I heard this morning about how average wage in Australia is up there with the highest in the world.

He did say she had some disability so that would play a part.

Silent Alarm, you are early 20s and out of Uni, right? How is it for a recent graduate?