As Barrett’s ‘Sliding Doors’ segment on a Friday is frankly, a load of s**t and should be boycotted, it is with great pride that today I am launching our very own Western Bulldog ‘Sliding Doors’ moments extravaganza.
Our season is officially cooked, with Biggs, Roughy and co’s send off game(s) in full swing with the majority of discussion on the board surrounding that piss-ant Damien Barrett - it time to divert and go through history, looking through the lens of ‘discombobulation’, analysing where as a club we butchered our trophy cabinet to merely contain 2 cups, 64 years apart.
Now some may call me a sadist, but if I ever want to get rid of an unwanted erection I quickly turn on a replay of the second half of the 97’ Preliminary Final. An effective solution (I have heard) to a common problem is to have two internet browser windows open, one streaming your favourite pr0n, whilst a dormant video of Darren Jarman pulling our clubs pants down awaits in the other in case the misses or unwanted religious folk pull into the driveway.
One warning: Do not enter ‘Darren Jarman pulls pants down in xhamster.com’ - FMD.
As such, I can call myself an expert on the 1997 Preliminary Final - Western Bulldogs vs Adelaide.
We all know the end result, Jarman kicks 3 including 2 in the last to almost single handedly win the game. Rohan Smith pounds the turf, Terry Wallace’s voice changes to a permanent high pitch falceto on the final siren, whilst Domestic Violence rates tripled overnight in the Western Suburbs.
This horrific afternoon (voted 5th best game all time by Fox Viewers - get f**ked), in my expert opinion, came down to one often overlooked moment in the second quarter, well before the Dogs shat the bed in the last.
That moment was a beautifully executed tackle by Mark West, a favourite player of mine, that led to a goal to a Nathan Brown.
18 minutes into the second quarter Jarman gathers the ball at half back. Mark West, the only Bulldog on this shitful day to read which direction Jarman was moving, lined up the pie-eating master from his right and delivered a powerful, but fair tackle on Jarman. The ball spilled from Jarman’s arms and with it spilled the 1997 Premiership Cup.
(Tackle seen at 5:12)
Mark West played 16 games for the Western Bulldogs. The 97’ Prelim was arguably his finest. In his 16 games he knocked out Leigh Colbert’s front teeth at Kardinia Park, broke Troy McDonald’s shoulder and was reported later during the 97 Prelim.
Mark ‘Mark West’ West was not a man who tackled ‘fair’.
If Mark West had his time again Darren Jarman would also be missing several teeth - perhaps lessening DJ’s exponential path to obesity later in life and sending us through to our third Grand Final.
Mark West’s moment of madness was that this very moment was devoid of madness.
Our season is officially cooked, with Biggs, Roughy and co’s send off game(s) in full swing with the majority of discussion on the board surrounding that piss-ant Damien Barrett - it time to divert and go through history, looking through the lens of ‘discombobulation’, analysing where as a club we butchered our trophy cabinet to merely contain 2 cups, 64 years apart.
Now some may call me a sadist, but if I ever want to get rid of an unwanted erection I quickly turn on a replay of the second half of the 97’ Preliminary Final. An effective solution (I have heard) to a common problem is to have two internet browser windows open, one streaming your favourite pr0n, whilst a dormant video of Darren Jarman pulling our clubs pants down awaits in the other in case the misses or unwanted religious folk pull into the driveway.
One warning: Do not enter ‘Darren Jarman pulls pants down in xhamster.com’ - FMD.
As such, I can call myself an expert on the 1997 Preliminary Final - Western Bulldogs vs Adelaide.
We all know the end result, Jarman kicks 3 including 2 in the last to almost single handedly win the game. Rohan Smith pounds the turf, Terry Wallace’s voice changes to a permanent high pitch falceto on the final siren, whilst Domestic Violence rates tripled overnight in the Western Suburbs.
This horrific afternoon (voted 5th best game all time by Fox Viewers - get f**ked), in my expert opinion, came down to one often overlooked moment in the second quarter, well before the Dogs shat the bed in the last.
That moment was a beautifully executed tackle by Mark West, a favourite player of mine, that led to a goal to a Nathan Brown.
18 minutes into the second quarter Jarman gathers the ball at half back. Mark West, the only Bulldog on this shitful day to read which direction Jarman was moving, lined up the pie-eating master from his right and delivered a powerful, but fair tackle on Jarman. The ball spilled from Jarman’s arms and with it spilled the 1997 Premiership Cup.
(Tackle seen at 5:12)
Mark West played 16 games for the Western Bulldogs. The 97’ Prelim was arguably his finest. In his 16 games he knocked out Leigh Colbert’s front teeth at Kardinia Park, broke Troy McDonald’s shoulder and was reported later during the 97 Prelim.
Mark ‘Mark West’ West was not a man who tackled ‘fair’.
If Mark West had his time again Darren Jarman would also be missing several teeth - perhaps lessening DJ’s exponential path to obesity later in life and sending us through to our third Grand Final.
Mark West’s moment of madness was that this very moment was devoid of madness.
