Preview Changes V Essendon

[speedy]

You can get a slab of beer, a bag of Cheetos and get high for $90. Probably required consumption if you watch it on tv.

 

[Makeshift Park]

I'll paint you the scene. We start off ok. We get to half time a goal up on them in a thoroughly unremarkable contest. Nerves are already fraying amongst the idiots stupid enough to turn up (for both teams), of which I am one.

The third quarter starts off goal for goal.
But as it wears on, those in blue and white notice a familiar sight; too many of our players are hanging goalside at contests, both marking and stoppage, and aren't able/aren't willing to get back to cover when they win the ball. Merrett and Durham both start to carve us up. Durham is untackle-able because none of LDU, Sheezel, Powell and FOS know how to tackle properly. Merrett is pushing back to the half back flank, kickstarting chains and then running past six of our blokes to receive for the final kick inside 50.

Xerri, having gotten away with his tendency to take the ball out of the ruck so far, does so for the twelfth time and is pinged, or alternatively, coughs up the handball. Non descript Essendon campaigner #38284 takes advantage and laces it out to TwomeidaPeader. Buoyed by our strange methods of self sabotage, their entire team starts to run. Both ways. We can stop this mob, they think to themselves. And their crowd starts to respond. Caddy, matched up on Comben, takes a hanger and nails his fourth. Kako follows with his third shortly after, roving a contest where all of our blokes went up and spoiled each other. He pumps the crowd up.

Suddenly we're three goals down, staring down the barrel of a defeat, and with an Essendon crowd woken up from its usual meme-y, Bronx cheer-filled slumber.

Try as we might, we can't bridge the gap in the final quarter courtesy of the fact that we're ****ing rubbish. Kerridge specialist Archie Perkins kicks the goal to get them out by 14 after a Simpkin clanger; we kick one more in the final minute but it's meaningless.

Final siren: Essendon by eight points; media talking points are that Essendon aren't completely broken, while we are.

This is such a thoroughly plausible scenario that it hurt to even write. We shouldn't be short odds against anyone. We shouldn't even be short odds against VFL teams. We play football like we don't expect opposition resistance. If Essendon spot that and react accordingly, we're toast

What you've got wrong is that I don't think we're completely broken. The main problem has been the head coach.

Clarko just hasn't been getting the most out of his playing group.

If that outcome you describe eventuates, its not gonna just be Groundhog Day for the rest of the year. If, in his fourth year, he can't beat a team on an 15-game losing streak, one week after it couldn't beat a woodenspooner (albeit one that showed unusual fight), the club will have little choice but to set in motion a succession plan. I really believe that.

In the meantime, a win by a team that the market says has 35% chance of winning does have a very plausible chance of victory. Yes its a bit short, but we're not talking a Freo - Richmond situation here, where all the data points one way. No one's saying Essendon by 8 points isn't an entirely believable outcome.

 

[Chadwiko]

You can get a slab of beer, a bag of Cheetos and get high for $90. Probably required consumption if you watch it on tv.

I've repeatedly asked you to stop looking through my windows and telling the world how I live.

 

[Makeshift Park]

You can get a slab of beer, a bag of Cheetos and get high for $90. Probably required consumption if you watch it on tv.

Been outta the party game for the past decade due to responsible parenting obligations, but I imagine you could probably afford to self-administer MDMA or psychedelic assisted therapy for $90, so long as the drug cartels haven't passed down skyrocketing petrol prices to consumers yet.

 

[DuckYeah]

 

[DuckYeah]

Having a stinker again. I called his 2025 season ordinary, now we are looking at 2026 trending the same way.

Question needs to be asked. Maybe we should have taken Cadman

 

[Only Forwards]

In the early 90s we hadn’t beaten the hawks for a long time - then when we did beat them , it was a 100 pt smashing.
I want that this weekend - I want them crying at quartertime

That night was glorious.

125 points. I couldn’t talk for the rest of the weekend.

If we win this game by 100+ points I’ll buy another membership.

 

[Krakouer Bonar]

Having a stinker again. I called his 2025 season ordinary, now we are looking at 2026 trending the same way.

Question needs to be asked. Maybe we should have taken Cadman

Your comedy act needs some polish!!

 

[giantroo]

~13.30

 

[groo]

View attachment 2562027

Contested footy rather than a loose in the backline? How do other contested mids compare?

 

[King Corey]

Your comedy act needs some polish!!

For once we agree.

The Sheezel snipes are getting OTT.

Most overall talented kid to walk through the doors since Tarryn Thomas and Ben Cunnington before that.

 

[giantroo]

 

[The Dougster]

Unleash George. Huge game and we need his spark. A one point win would be nice. Putting the red n black filth to the sword would be even better.

 

[King Corey]

I'll paint you the scene. We start off ok. We get to half time a goal up on them in a thoroughly unremarkable contest. Nerves are already fraying amongst the idiots stupid enough to turn up (for both teams), of which I am one.

The third quarter starts off goal for goal.
But as it wears on, those in blue and white notice a familiar sight; too many of our players are hanging goalside at contests, both marking and stoppage, and aren't able/aren't willing to get back to cover when they win the ball. Merrett and Durham both start to carve us up. Durham is untackle-able because none of LDU, Sheezel, Powell and FOS know how to tackle properly. Merrett is pushing back to the half back flank, kickstarting chains and then running past six of our blokes to receive for the final kick inside 50.

Xerri, having gotten away with his tendency to take the ball out of the ruck so far, does so for the twelfth time and is pinged, or alternatively, coughs up the handball. Non descript Essendon campaigner #38284 takes advantage and laces it out to TwomeidaPeader. Buoyed by our strange methods of self sabotage, their entire team starts to run. Both ways. We can stop this mob, they think to themselves. And their crowd starts to respond. Caddy, matched up on Comben, takes a hanger and nails his fourth. Kako follows with his third shortly after, roving a contest where all of our blokes went up and spoiled each other. He pumps the crowd up.

Suddenly we're three goals down, staring down the barrel of a defeat, and with an Essendon crowd woken up from its usual meme-y, Bronx cheer-filled slumber.

Try as we might, we can't bridge the gap in the final quarter courtesy of the fact that we're ****ing rubbish. Kerridge specialist Archie Perkins kicks the goal to get them out by 14 after a Simpkin clanger; we kick one more in the final minute but it's meaningless.

Final siren: Essendon by eight points; media talking points are that Essendon aren't completely broken, while we are.

This is such a thoroughly plausible scenario that it hurt to even write. We shouldn't be short odds against anyone. We shouldn't even be short odds against VFL teams. We play football like we don't expect opposition resistance. If Essendon spot that and react accordingly, we're toast

Save some time and slap this straight into the autopsy thread too.

 

[King Corey]

Buoyed by our strange methods of self sabotage, their entire team starts to run. Both ways. We can stop this mob, they think to themselves. And their crowd starts to respond.

zoomba23 this is prescient enough to be frightening.

 

[Moti]

Having a stinker again. I called his 2025 season ordinary, now we are looking at 2026 trending the same way.

Question needs to be asked. Maybe we should have taken Cadman

I wouldn't go that far but many have been blind to his issues for a while.

 

[Sheezel2Wardlaw]

That is one of the shittest north teams ive seen on paper in 6 years. Too tall, too slow up forward as you want Darling in there
, your backline is shit because McDonald and Dawson are in it. Simpkin on the ground? Horrible.

I respect the dropping of Zurhaar.

In my defense, i didnt put the list together. Can only pick the shit they give me

 

[Event Horizon]

Save some time and slap this straight into the autopsy thread too.

I see it unfolding differently. I reckon the big danger for us, given the sort of week that Essendon has had, is that we may be 5 goals down at quarter time and be chasing our tail from there. I reckon if it is close at half-time, we will run over the top of them relatively comfortably after half-time. Just need to start well and they will fall apart.

 

[Supreme_Chancellor]

Haha me too, was $400 (concession too) to sit on LVL 2 for my little bother, Dad and I, I said the same thing. I would rather cut off my balls than give that much to them.

They can FRO.

I'd have paid it if I could get a guarantee that there wouldn't be music blaring the entire time. But that shit does my head in. And my head is pretty ****ed as it is.

That's why you've gotta buy General Admission Junior tickets, they are cheap as hell and staff just don't care enough to check. F*** paying full adult ticket prices when they want to charge $30 for some food and a drink.

 

[Ether]

For once we agree.

The Sheezel snipes are getting OTT.

Most overall talented kid to walk through the doors since Tarryn Thomas and Ben Cunnington before that.

The only question to be asked is how to get more impact from his disposals, not anything to do with Aaron f#$%in Cadman.

 

[shinboner magic]

Unleash George. Huge game and we need his spark. A one point win would be nice. Putting the red n black filth to the sword would be even better.

Yes but I’d leave him on the bench till the second half - I want to unleash angry warlord.

 

[ferball]

I see it unfolding differently. I reckon the big danger for us, given the sort of week that Essendon has had, is that we may be 5 goals down at quarter time and be chasing our tail from there. I reckon if it is close at half-time, we will run over the top of them relatively comfortably after half-time. Just need to start well and they will fall apart.

I would have said that about West Coast.

 

[giantroo]

 

[giantroo]

 

[Krakouer Bonar]

I wouldn't go that far but many have been blind to his issues for a while.

............blind to what issues?????