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Commentators who make my ears bleed

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madhawksfan said:
Everyone bar Gary Lyon, Dermie, Lewis and Jack Riewoldt on Fox.

Nearly all of them carry on every time we get a free kick, even obvious ones.

Dunstall is the worst at the moment due to his constant negativity. Underwood makes so many mistakes it’s painful. Lynch and Brown struggle to be coherent and Brown is a Hawks hater. Healy speaks with a monotone constantly. King makes some of the worst predictions and that it a low bar in the industry at the moment. Joey is like listening to a teenager.

Dwayne can be irritating but at least he has some personality. Huddo has become the worst at whinging about free kicks and cheerleading for the opposition.
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I'm not sure that I'd agree. If you actually listen to Lyon's commentary, there's nothing of value added. He just repeats stuff he's been fed off-mic by the producers without any thought. It was very noticeable in the Adelaide-Collingwood game.

I love Brereton to bits as someone who grew up in the 80s and watched him strut his stuff on-field. However, he's never learned the art that sometimes less is more. His philosophy seems to be: "Why say something in 10 words when I can make it take 50 words".
 
Currently the state of commentary is that David King, Dunstall or Garry Lyon watch the game unfold, then proceed to talk about what the players or coaches should have done differently, or predict what's going to happen next.

Typified by JD, as Josh Worrell kicked long to a contest inside 50 in the dying stages on Saturday night: "Ohh, he had a shorter option"

The ball sails into the pack, Thilthorpe takes the contested mark, match-winner. Just shut up guys and tell us what's happening, or you'll end up like Riewoldt.
 
Dermie...

Maths skills, syntax, and eloquence...

 

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Leather Poisoning said:
Commentators saty shit like "like shelling peas"

Is there any person alive that has actually shelled peas? Real pre-WW2 type pastime isn't it?
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This triggered a life memory, sitting at my great grandmothers house before Christmas. Would have been the mid 80s.

Big 5L ice-cream buckets full. I probably ate almost as many as I put in the bucket.
 
2 things.

First is commentators who sing the praises of a particular team during a match to the point of wondering if they are barracking, but then in post-match, they go the opposite and bring in all sorts of data to show how they feel it's the opposite.

Second is ones like Mark Howard who can't just shut the ****ing hell up when a player has just kicked a goal and all I want to do is listen to the glorious strains of "Breuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust" but instead have to listen to that chucklehead blabbering on over the top of it.
 
oh and again ones like Howie who use absolute dead monotone voice as something happens (e.g. a goal) and then artificially raise it up to 1000000% 5 seconds later, totally ruins complete moments in games.
 
badgrill said:
2 things.

First is commentators who sing the praises of a particular team during a match to the point of wondering if they are barracking, but then in post-match, they go the opposite and bring in all sorts of data to show how they feel it's the opposite.

Second is ones like Mark Howard who can't just shut the ****ing hell up when a player has just kicked a goal and all I want to do is listen to the glorious strains of "Breuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuust" but instead have to listen to that chucklehead blabbering on over the top of it.
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EDIT: Still getting over that second one as you can tell
 
Derwayne constantly saying "chip kick" & I have to think twice did he say "shit kick"
 
A sports commentator needs three elements to be successful; a resonance to his voice, understanding of the game and eloquence. Martin Tyler and Phil liggett are recognised as being great commentators for these reasons. Williamson, Jacobs and more recently Commetti are examples from VFL/AFL. Who could forget Commetti’s classic call in a Geelong game ‘Ablett, to Bartel, to Corey, they’re doing it alphabetically
Ned Ryerson said:
BT and JB, no matter the quality of the game, can ruin it so easily with their incessant nattering and screaming. I don't know how we went from Dennis and Bruce to these two ****heads.
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Who could forget Denis’s; ‘Ablett to Bartel to Corey- they’re doing it alphabetically now’. Or when Hodge laid a tackle on an unsuspecting opponent, ‘we’ll Bruce he obviously didn’t hear the Norm Smith medals jangling’.
 
parsons nose said:
A sports commentator needs three elements to be successful; a resonance to his voice, understanding of the game and eloquence. Martin Tyler and Phil liggett are recognised as being great commentators for these reasons. Williamson, Jacobs and more recently Commetti are examples from VFL/AFL. Who could forget Commetti’s classic call in a Geelong game ‘Ablett, to Bartel, to Corey, they’re doing it alphabetically

Who could forget Denis’s; ‘Ablett to Bartel to Corey- they’re doing it alphabetically now’. Or when Hodge laid a tackle on an unsuspecting opponent, ‘we’ll Bruce he obviously didn’t hear the Norm Smith medals jangling’.
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There's a problem early on.

And it's as simple as calling the game as it happens. Any gender can do that.
 

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TONYC3163 said:
That’s an individual thing not a gender based thing.
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Agreed - the main NRL commentator on Channel 9, Matt Thompson, has a voice that makes me want to inflict self harm. How he is doing the swimming and NRL is beyond me.
 

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parsons nose said:
If my comment bothers you so much you can report me to the mods. And whether my comment is worthy of an infraction will be there for all to see.
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What a weird argument. You used his to describe all commentators and at AFL level apart from Kellie Underwood who is there? So given his approximates for about 99% it would seem like a fair descriptor as things stand. With the push for equality of the sexes so strong, I’m sure we will see a rise in terrible female commentators to match the current lot of terrible male commentators all too soon.
Miss you Dennis.
 
Ned Ryerson said:
BT and JB, no matter the quality of the game, can ruin it so easily with their incessant nattering and screaming. I don't know how we went from Dennis and Bruce to these two ****heads.
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Its funny what memory does. People complained about these two all the time. Bruce especially.

Cometti was a good commenmtator and people wistfully remember his quips while in the same sentence complain about Dwayne's rehearsed quips. At least Dwayne isnt as openly biased as Dennis was.
 
Mr Meeseeks said:
Its funny what memory does. People complained about these two all the time. Bruce especially.

Cometti was a good commenmtator and people wistfully remember his quips while in the same sentence complain about Dwayne's rehearsed quips. At least Dwayne isnt as openly biased as Dennis was.
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See I'll take openly biased but competent over blokes who would infuriate me if I was sitting next to them at the footy let alone having to listen to them on my TV. Paul Vautin would openly cheer for Qld and Manly in NRL coverage - but he, Sterlo and Rabs were the best combo for decades so you'd cop it.
 

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Commentators who make my ears bleed

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