Roast Commentators

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TigerTime17

Senior List
Sep 25, 2017
169
539
Melbourne
AFL Club
Richmond
I had a meltdown last night and took to Twitter to tell Ling, Darcy and Brayshaw what I thought about them cheering on Brisbane.

At one stage Ling stated that Grimes staging was the worst he has ever seen - I s**t you not! Then Darcy starts going on about how he agreed with the umpires crap decision against the Tigers. They all shut up once the result was beyond doubt but the consistent barracking was disgraceful all night.

You have to be joking to think this trio are anywhere near good enough to call any games.
 

Oprah From Tigerland

Club Legend
May 1, 2018
2,210
17,392
AFL Club
Richmond
Ling and darcy were ******* disgraceful last night. Completely s**tful
Darcy looked like he’d stepped out of an industrial freezer at the end of the broadcast. His face was grey and his lips were blue - he looked like he was suffering from hypothermia, which may explain his his disoriented state of mind.
 

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Ocker

Club Legend
May 20, 2015
1,776
4,162
AFL Club
Richmond
Correct and then we've got dear old Richo in there who is now too frightened to say anything positive towards Richmond for fear of being labelled biased by the muppets you mentioned, so he over compensates to appease them and comes off almost anti-Richmond as well.

C'mon big 'Cho grow a pair, reconnect with your true inner tiger and stick it up these whinging sycophants!
Well said mate, read my ******* mind.

Need the Cho to come out and say "fu** you campaigners, EAD, tigers rah rah ******* rah
 

Dunger

Club Legend
Nov 28, 2008
1,447
5,540
-37.822165, 144.988143
AFL Club
Richmond
Richie Benaud's 8 rules for commentating would go a long way in the 7 and foxtel boxes

  1. Never ask for a statement.
  2. Remember the value of a pause.
  3. There are no teams in the world called 'we' or 'they'.
  4. Avoid cliches and banalities, such as 'he's hit that to the boundary', 'he won't want to get out now', 'of course', 'as you can see on the screen'.
  5. The Titanic was a tragedy, the Ethiopian drought a disaster, and neither bears any relation to a dropped catch.
  6. Put your brain into gear before opening your mouth.
  7. Concentrate fiercely at all times.
  8. Above all, don't take yourself too seriously, and have fun.
 

DickieKnee

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 8, 2017
7,492
18,419
AFL Club
Richmond
Richie Benaud's 8 rules for commentating would go a long way in the 7 and foxtel boxes

  1. Never ask for a statement.
  2. Remember the value of a pause.
  3. There are no teams in the world called 'we' or 'they'.
  4. Avoid cliches and banalities, such as 'he's hit that to the boundary', 'he won't want to get out now', 'of course', 'as you can see on the screen'.
  5. The Titanic was a tragedy, the Ethiopian drought a disaster, and neither bears any relation to a dropped catch.
  6. Put your brain into gear before opening your mouth.
  7. Concentrate fiercely at all times.
  8. Above all, don't take yourself too seriously, and have fun.
And that's all we ask for, an impartial commentary of the game.
 

Sgt Bargearse

Team Captain
Sep 29, 2018
494
953
AFL Club
Richmond
Tim Watson and Jobe Watson.

No ticket for those campaigners ever.
For a drug cheating feminist barista, I actually don't mind Jobe as a commentator. He and Bartel provide insight in to the game which is a lot more than Ling, Darcy, Carey or BT are capable of doing. These guys spend more time second-guessing and whingeing umpiring decisions than is needed. They sound like BF posters moaning like bitches instead of professional commentators sharing their knowledge.
 

DoItForCaptBlood

Premiership Player
Sep 8, 2008
3,083
6,372
Gold Coast
AFL Club
Richmond
Richie Benaud's 8 rules for commentating would go a long way in the 7 and foxtel boxes

  1. Never ask for a statement.
  2. Remember the value of a pause.
  3. There are no teams in the world called 'we' or 'they'.
  4. Avoid cliches and banalities, such as 'he's hit that to the boundary', 'he won't want to get out now', 'of course', 'as you can see on the screen'.
  5. The Titanic was a tragedy, the Ethiopian drought a disaster, and neither bears any relation to a dropped catch.
  6. Put your brain into gear before opening your mouth.
  7. Concentrate fiercely at all times.
  8. Above all, don't take yourself too seriously, and have fun.
Some would struggle seriously with no. 6 for obvious reasons. Looking at you Dermie you blobfish.
 

Cotcho

Norm Smith Medallist
Jul 4, 2012
5,457
16,589
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Liverpool
I'm waiting for the day Carey says something insightful. If he wasn't a legend they they wouldn't let him near a microphone. Same for a few other guys who were great to watch but add SFA on the box.
This. It's not just a lack of intelligent insight. It's basic knowledge stuff that him and his colleagues can't even get right.

Just look at the last game lol He was having a giant sook about Dangerflog giving away that contact below the knees free kick. It was one of the clearest examples of the rule working. He completely took was it Brown's? knees out! He carried on for minutes.

Then there was one where a pies player had head over the ball and got a high free. He couldn't grasp it. Why isn't that contact below the knees? He kept asking it not realising that Dangerfields wasn't anywhere near his head so it literally couldn't be called for a high free. It was embarrassing.

Just because you are a physical god and can read the play instinctively with the required coordination....doesn't qualify you for talking about the game.

I don't excuse Richo from this either. He's just as awful.

Riewoldt and Judd are the only ones who have retired in the last 10 years that are qualified IMO Maybe NDS sneaks in.
 

DontArgue4

Premium Platinum
May 3, 2013
15,729
46,666
AFL Club
Richmond
Other Teams
Houston Rockets, Arsenal, PhiEagles
I honestly never notice any bias against us and think you only would if you look for it.
All I hear is how amazing Dusty is, Grimes is, how good we are, Lunch, Rioli, Jack x2 and so on.
But Dwayne Russell I just can’t listen to him he’s just s**thouse.
FROM THE PAINT
 

Rocco sifreddi

Club Legend
Aug 13, 2017
1,186
4,214
AFL Club
Richmond
Richie Benaud's 8 rules for commentating would go a long way in the 7 and foxtel boxes

  1. Never ask for a statement.
  2. Remember the value of a pause.
  3. There are no teams in the world called 'we' or 'they'.
  4. Avoid cliches and banalities, such as 'he's hit that to the boundary', 'he won't want to get out now', 'of course', 'as you can see on the screen'.
  5. The Titanic was a tragedy, the Ethiopian drought a disaster, and neither bears any relation to a dropped catch.
  6. Put your brain into gear before opening your mouth.
  7. Concentrate fiercely at all times.
  8. Above all, don't take yourself too seriously, and have fun.
Thats why he was the goat.
 

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