Cricket things that annoy you

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PhatBoy

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On a similar theme to the last few posts, people playing on turf who whinge when it’s hard to bat

They’re my favourite decks to bat on. Means you can’t default to slog mode which is a pretty big thing in a lot of low level cricket and personally I love the challenge of having to be in defence mode first
 

jle101

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Turf is better for bowling as well imo. Some of those hard wickets can get a bit greasy when there's some dew about making it a bit of a slipping hazard. At least with turf the wicket has been covered all morning & usually your spikes get good purchase on the ground underneath.
 

Carbine Chaos

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I only got to play on turf once at school (the top sides had byes) and I made my only 50. I found the more natural bounce compared to astroturf was so much easier to face as it came onto the bat a lot more.
 

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Leeda

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yeah that the players are always on their best game.. Nothing escapes them.. they are all hang ten... add then the idea that
chewy isn't alway Sony your buut...
 

Gethelred

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Turf is better for bowling as well imo. Some of those hard wickets can get a bit greasy when there's some dew about making it a bit of a slipping hazard. At least with turf the wicket has been covered all morning & usually your spikes get good purchase on the ground underneath.
Or, if you're a tall spinner, batsman can't just back away or step inside and belt you square of the wicket.

You do that on turf, you're going to get bowled/leg before.
 

Gethelred

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Cricket commentary that consists of 'If you take out performance x, y and z, he was simply average'.

If you take out the highlights of a career, ******* of COURSE they look average! You could compensate for this by taking out their 3-4 worst performances, but that too is misleading.

Evaluate a player based on what they've done, no more no less. Don't call a player overrated because of how they look with their best cut out.
 

Gethelred

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The phrase, "you can't beat the Dukes ball".

Yes, you can. England spend over after over complaining about the shape of the ball if it's not hooping, Rahul, Root and Rohit have all made plenty of runs in this series. You're playing international cricket, you're playing against world class bowlers; of ******* course you're never going to feel in.

There have been plenty of runs made in England against the Dukes ball. Scarcely last year, Steven Smith 'beat' the Dukes ball almost by himself.

I don't enjoy it when Michael Slater is pontificating about the pitches or the states in Australia; Nassar, pull your head in.
 

Crashy

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Things when playing that annoy me

Throwing the ball back to the bowler via first slip, point, cover, mid off

drives me insane


Also I think all amatuer comps should bowl 5 overs each end, we did it for a t20 comp and we got through the overs very quickly, some sides are taking 2 hours to bowl 35 overs in my comp...too long for unfit blokes on a hot summers day
 

CakeEater

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Things when playing that annoy me

Throwing the ball back to the bowler via first slip, point, cover, mid off

drives me insane


Also I think all amatuer comps should bowl 5 overs each end, we did it for a t20 comp and we got through the overs very quickly, some sides are taking 2 hours to bowl 35 overs in my comp...too long for unfit blokes on a hot summers day
Actually dont mind the suggestion re bowling 5 overs in a row down one end.

You do see some games start at 12.30 and not finish till 6.30 over here.

Most of that is from fine leg to fine leg trudging.
 

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The Passenger

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Also I think all amatuer comps should bowl 5 overs each end, we did it for a t20 comp and we got through the overs very quickly, some sides are taking 2 hours to bowl 35 overs in my comp...too long for unfit blokes on a hot summers day
This is actually a pretty good idea I reckon. Especially at junior level. One of the biggest complaints from parents in relation to cricket is how much time it takes.
 

Gethelred

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The degree to which England will sink to in order to avoid losing.

This was a pretty promising series after the second test. The next two pitches are bouncy seaming decks that don't take spin, and they pick Overton and Robinson to exploit the natural Indian issue with steepling bounce.

The decks churned out in the last two tests would be more at home in Australia or South Africa than England.
 

kickazz

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Things when playing that annoy me

Throwing the ball back to the bowler via first slip, point, cover, mid off

drives me insane


Also I think all amatuer comps should bowl 5 overs each end, we did it for a t20 comp and we got through the overs very quickly, some sides are taking 2 hours to bowl 35 overs in my comp...too long for unfit blokes on a hot summers day
Makes sense if each end is comparable regarding pitch condition and access to boundaries. If not, only swapping every five would bring some interesting tactical stuff new to the game: holding out for five overs before making hay at the other end, how you manage bowling spells (eg if one end takes spin really well, are little two or three over spells ok?)
 

jle101

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I think most senior VCA T20 comps have been running with the 5 overs at each end for a fair few seasons now.
 

Carbine Chaos

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The degree to which England will sink to in order to avoid losing.

This was a pretty promising series after the second test. The next two pitches are bouncy seaming decks that don't take spin, and they pick Overton and Robinson to exploit the natural Indian issue with steepling bounce.

The decks churned out in the last two tests would be more at home in Australia or South Africa than England.
Wait, are you being critical of the home side producing pitches that favour them?

Why shouldn't they?
 

Gethelred

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Wait, are you being critical of the home side producing pitches that favour them?

Why shouldn't they?
There's a matter of degree at play here that's kind of gross. If I object when India do it or Sri Lanka do it or Australia do it, I firmly reserve the right to object when England openly start producing Australian wickets and pick tall bowlers over swing bowlers to exploit the advantage when they're in danger of losing.

Pitch doctoring is justified on the basis of regional difference; India and Sri Lanka is more conducive to spin, Australia and SA are more conducive to bounce, England and NZ having natural conditions for green seaming decks and the swinging ball. But when England produce decks that deliberately fly in the face of their traditional wickets, that smokescreen has gone out the window.

It becomes less of an even playing field, and more about winning. I kind of like cricket as the old fashioned give your opponent a sporting chance game it is, but to each their own.
 

Teen Wolf

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The degree to which England will sink to in order to avoid losing.

This was a pretty promising series after the second test. The next two pitches are bouncy seaming decks that don't take spin, and they pick Overton and Robinson to exploit the natural Indian issue with steepling bounce.
First of all, how many wickets did India take with spin in the first two Tests? Zero. The only kind of gross thing here is your misrepresentation of the pitches in the series, as if they've gone from playing in Pune to Perth within a week.

Second, criticising a pitch for being "bouncy" is like complaining about water being wet. Consistency of bounce is all that matters.

Third, a pitch with seam movement is fine unless it's so extreme that it upsets the balance between bat and ball which, if anything, should favour the bowling team in a Test match anyway.

Fourth, the fact that you were lamenting the lack of spin on the first day of a Test suggests your pitch assessments are worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.
 

Gethelred

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First of all, how many wickets did India take with spin in the first two Tests? Zero. The only kind of gross thing here is your misrepresentation of the pitches in the series, as if they've gone from playing in Pune to Perth within a week.
They've gone from traditional English decks to English versions of Brisbane. I'd say that's rather illuminating, personally.

Second, criticising a pitch for being "bouncy" is like complaining about water being wet. Consistency of bounce is all that matters.
And, on day one, the bounce was variable. The ball would leap at the batsman off a length.

Like a Brisbane wicket.

Third, a pitch with seam movement is fine unless it's so extreme that it upsets the balance between bat and ball which, if anything, should favour the bowling team in a Test match anyway.
I agree.

Fourth, the fact that you were lamenting the lack of spin on the first day of a Test suggests your pitch assessments are worth less than a truckload of dead rats in a tampon factory.
The fact that you've decided to turn an argument on all the pitches in a series not taking to spin overmuch into a comment on an individual wicket on day 1 not taking spin suggests you're more used to beating around men of straw than humans. Might I suggest practicing against someone else first, because humans hit back.

I do so love the Cricket board. In no other part of this site is an opinion so ignorantly paraded or an inability to see something another way so obnoxiously held to one's chest.
 

Teen Wolf

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They've gone from traditional English decks to English versions of Brisbane. I'd say that's rather illuminating, personally.
Brisbane, as in the place where India sealed a series victory 9 months ago. I'd say that's a rather illogical conspiracy theory.

And, on day one, the bounce was variable. The ball would leap at the batsman off a length.

Like a Brisbane wicket.
No there wasn't, no it wouldn't, and no it isn't. Certainly not anything at an occasional frequency, nor to an excessive or dangerous degree. Absurd to pretend otherwise.

The fact that you've decided to turn an argument on all the pitches in a series not taking to spin overmuch into a comment on an individual wicket on day 1 not taking spin suggests you're more used to beating around men of straw
I suggest that if you only had a brain, you wouldn't need reminding that your complaints weren't about "all" the pitches in the series. They were about the pitches once England were down in the series: "This was a pretty promising series after the second test."

And funnily enough Jadeja actually took some wickets in the 3rd Test (unlike the first two Tests), and he's once again already taken some wickets in the 4th Test (inexpensively too) well before the pitch is supposed to offer much for spinners.
 

Gethelred

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Brisbane, as in the place where India sealed a series victory 9 months ago. I'd say that's a rather illogical conspiracy theory.
...

Okay.

Brisbane hasn't been and was never an Australian bastion for overseas sides, and there's no correlation between Indian sides that have succeeded here and teams which have not played the first test of the summer there where and when the Australian conditions are the most exaggerated.

I also have a bridge to sell you in Sydney, if you're interested.

No there wasn't, no it wouldn't, and no it isn't. Certainly not anything at an occasional frequency, nor to an excessive or dangerous degree. Absurd to pretend otherwise.
Sharma's wicket. Kohli's wicket.

Pay more attention, and you're less likely to get hit by passing traffic. I only point this out because I have your best interests at heart.
I suggest that if you only had a brain, you wouldn't need reminding that your complaints weren't about "all" the pitches in the series. They were about the pitches once England were down in the series: "This was a pretty promising series after the second test."
... which is - unless my command of english is insufficient to the task of interpreting your gibberish - more than just the first morning of day one of a test.

Again, that's the funny thing about arguing with a position I haven't made; you tend to trip over yourself when someone points it out, and with your tendency to wander into oncoming traffic that's a dangerous trait.

And funnily enough Jadeja actually took some wickets in the 3rd Test (unlike the first two Tests), and he's once again already taken some wickets in the 4th Test (inexpensively too) well before the pitch is supposed to offer much for spinners.
So, your position is that spin is never effective on surfaces that don't turn, and a spinner cannot ever take wickets unless they're on a dusty pitch?

Do you have legs with which to stand on? Have you ever?
 
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Teen Wolf

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Okay.

Brisbane hasn't been and was never an Australian bastion for overseas sides, and there's no correlation between Indian sides that have succeeded here and teams which have not played the first test of the summer there where and when the Australian conditions are the most exaggerated.

I also have a bridge to sell you in Sydney, if you're interested.
You're the one suggesting the Oval pitch is remotely comparable to the Gabba, so apparently you'll try to sell any dumb bullshit.

Sharma's wicket. Kohli's wicket.
Sharma's was a half-tracker that got up chest-high and Kohli's was well short of a length which went 'sailing' past him at hip height. And that's the best you've got, says it all really.

... which is - unless my command of english is insufficient to the task of interpreting your gibberish - more than just the first morning of day one of a test.
Weird, I don't think I mentioned the "morning" of day one either... But clearly the lack of spin on the entire first day of this Test must be part of what sent you over the edge, otherwise you wouldn't have posted about England's evil brand of doctoring in two different threads. Ridiculous.

So, your position is that spin is never effective on surfaces that don't turn, and a spinner cannot ever take wickets unless they're on a dusty pitch?
My position is there's no reason to believe the pitches for the third and fourth Tests were/are less suited for spin bowling than the pitches for the first and second Tests. There is some reason (such as bowling figures) to believe the opposite though.
 

Gethelred

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You're the one suggesting the Oval pitch is remotely comparable to the Gabba, so apparently you'll try to sell any dumb bullshit.
Okay.

Why do you suppose that Overton and Robinson's selection coincides with the bounciest Oval and Headingley decks in recent memory?
Sharma's was a half-tracker that got up chest-high and Kohli's was well short of a length which went 'sailing' past him at hip height. And that's the best you've got, says it all really.
You're fun.

Sharma's was a ball that bounced in the exact same spot the previous delivery yet bounced a full foot higher. Kohli's was a drivable length delivery that bounced half a foot more than it should've. Both wickets caused by more bounce than they expected.

One would suggest the lockdowns have been good for you, seeing as they'll keep you from bumping into things beyond the reach of your nose.
Weird, I don't think I mentioned the "morning" of day one either... But clearly the lack of spin on the entire first day of this Test must be part of what sent you over the edge, otherwise you wouldn't have posted about England's evil brand of doctoring in two different threads. Ridiculous.
One post in the gameday thread, another in here, because this is a thread for things that annoy me. Everything else has been replies.

Perhaps the label on the tin that says Biscuits does not mean there's an eldritch horror lurking within, waiting to ensnare you with chocolate chips.

I'm not out to get you, I swear. Just reach in for one of those delicious cookies...
My position is there's no reason to believe the pitches for the third and fourth Tests were/are less suited for spin bowling than the pitches for the first and second Tests. There is some reason (such as bowling figures) to believe the opposite though.
I have a question. Can you read?

England started out this series without a spinner, playing on decks which didn't turn; this is not a massive issue, because (over the last 10-15 years) English decks have only taken to turn while Graeme Swann was getting lefties out LBW for fun. At all other times, they've been low and slow, designed for seamers rather than spinners.

So, when I say that the pitches don't take to spin so much, I'm not complaining about it, because it's not a traditional aspect of English wickets or prominence. You can prepare to come to England and practice against seaming bowlers in swinging conditions; you would see that as making home conditions but still within the bounds of fairness.

What is not within the bounds of fairness is the Headingley and Oval wickets playing like Brisbane at its juiciest. They clearly didn't prepare for it; they spent the first two tests refusing to play cut shots and patiently waiting for the right ball due to the low bounce, and it worked because they were traditionally English decks that made the English cut and the square drive better options than the Australian cut is; they played the square drive more than the cut, and that worked for them in the first two tests.

This is what I'm objecting to, seeing as you need it pointed out.

Before you reply again, consider reading the posts which you're responding to. It might make it less likely you will put your hands where they don't belong.
 

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