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Situation Vacant ---
The Australian Cricket Test team currently has four positions available in the Batting line up . Positions 1,2,5,6, currently open .
Experience preferable but not essential but the ability to hang around a must . Young players with the hunger to accumulate runs
will be given a chance to shine as the current occupiers of said positions are just spuds . Wham bam only cricketers need not apply.
Send resumes to J.Langer c/o I'm Not A Flat Track Bully.com
Cricket Australia .
 
Well, silver lining is Broad didn't take a wicket. Pretty horrific batting effort - sort of thing you see in park cricket where a team has one or two gun players and the rest are fill ins. That is our lineup right now. 2 blokes doing all the work, 4 bowlers, 1 bus driver and 4 passengers.
 
There’s plenty of competition but that has to be one of the more pathetic batting performances of the last decade. At least when there were times in which Australia have bowled out for embarrassing totals of less than 100 - you could say that there were filthy overhead conditions or bowlers on an absolute tear. To get rissoled for 225 on a flat deck, in the blazing sun with two batsmen scoring 128 of the total and Garry Lyon scoring 25 is painfully awful. Australia will never get a better opportunity to win an Ashes series in England and they’ve completely bottled it.

Any other side in the world could bowl England out before stumps today and you’d still rate them a chance. 2 days to score less than 400 on a road. But not this mob. If the Poms score more than 250 and Steve Smith/Labuschagne don’t fire they’ll win by 100+ runs.
 
Sylvia Saint said:
I'm a bit surprised to see Head gone - he has been mediocre but far from the worst. And they are sticking with Warner and Harris as openers. I'll be pretty mad if we're 10/2 again. Smith can't do it EVERY time forever.
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Well guess what we were last night? 14/2! **** me. Warner a bit stiff but still!
 
Sylvia Saint said:
Well guess what we were last night? 14/2! fu** me. Warner a bit stiff but still!
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Watching it my first thought was he missed it , but a couple of shots he played just before suggested he wasn't going to stay long . Harris also practised edgeing it to slips a couple of times before he got one right and was caught .
 
jhong said:
Watching it my first thought was he missed it , but a couple of shots he played just before suggested he wasn't going to stay long . Harris also practised edgeing it to slips a couple of times before he got one right and was caught .
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The 89 consecutive replays they had before going to Snicko had me convinced that I wanted it to be out so they'd stop rolling the same image back and forth.
 
Think I said it earlier but choosing to bowl ensured only England could win. Today confirms it.

At least Smith will have a chance to beat Bradman’s record seeing he’ll be in at 2/20. Chasing 450 will give him plenty of time.
 

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jhong said:
Oh FFS the team is clearly on the plane home already . Bowling first was contentious ,but our crap attempt at batting has totally lost this match . Even Smith looks over it .
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Haha! Only Smith could phone in an 80.
 
I feel like you could play some mad drinking games with Warner's batting form at present. Some kind of "shot for shot" scenario.
 
Crimson Azure said:
Why would Warner play that?

What was his average 9?
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He and Khawaja should have their papers permanently stamped in terms of being selected for overseas tours.

The less said about Harris, the better. Are we sure he isn’t a distant Marsh relative?

Home summer should be interesting. Smith, Labuschagne, Cummins, Hazlewood, Lyon and Paine (by virtue of being captain) pick themselves. 2 openers, 2 middle order spots and a 3rd seamer position are all up for grabs. It makes the opening Shield games relevant.
 
Johnny Karate said:
He and Khawaja should have their papers permanently stamped in terms of being selected for overseas tours.

The less said about Harris, the better. Are we sure he isn’t a distant Marsh relative?

Home summer should be interesting. Smith, Labuschagne, Cummins, Hazlewood, Lyon and Paine (by virtue of being captain) pick themselves. 2 openers, 2 middle order spots and a 3rd seamer position are all up for grabs. It makes the opening Shield games relevant.
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The openers will be interesting. Probably stay with Warner because he clearly deserves the selectors loyalty. The third seamer is less up for grabs and more up for rotation between Starc, Pattinson and Jhye Richardson. Wade's second ton of the series would have him penciled in to remain in the team to start this summer. Marsh taking 7 wickets means he now has a good 12 months...
 

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Its a sad state of affairs when you wake up and discover that Matthew Wade is the single saving grave in our last innings.

I'm wondering if that combined effort by the openers is the worst ever for Australia. Bancroft averaged 11, Harris 9.7 and Warner 9.5. A combined 9.9 over 20 innings. Farkin wow. That kind of series is going to leave a lingering stain, I think. What's the bet we revert to Warner and Bancroft for the home summer, though?

Selectors have to put their hand up and wear some of the blame for this. Chopping and changing for ... what reason? Siddle wasn't the worst player but Starc should've had another Test. Could've been selected as a batsmen alone, given the form of others around him.

Edit: From the match report on Cricinfo:
Getting through the top two has not been a problem for England (today's stand of 18 was Australia's best of the series) but the third-wicket stand has caused more difficulties.
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Aus.JPG Eng.JPG
 
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Thank **** that's over . Congrats to Wade ,who rode his luck and ended up with a ton , pity no one could be bothered staying with him . Paine admitted he can't read pitches , said the primary goal was to retain the Ashes , so does that mean winning the series was 2nd? As for Batsmen being a lock for the first test of our summer ,you'd hope they show some form in the shield first , but i guess that's not how it work's in Langers' Australia.
The presentations were meh , although Atherton decided to ask Stokes if he thought Root should stay Captain, haha what did he think Stokes would say ffs .
Oh well , the Poms got a drawn series , we keep the Ashes ,everyone is a winner .
 
Cannon82 said:
Its a sad state of affairs when you wake up and discover that Matthew Wade is the single saving grave in our last innings.

I'm wondering if that combined effort by the openers is the worst ever for Australia. Bancroft averaged 11, Harris 9.7 and Warner 9.5. A combined 9.9 over 20 innings. Farkin wow. That kind of series is going to leave a lingering stain, I think. What's the bet we revert to Warner and Bancroft for the home summer, though?

Selectors have to put their hand up and wear some of the blame for this. Chopping and changing for ... what reason? Siddle wasn't the worst player but Starc should've had another Test. Could've been selected as a batsmen alone, given the form of others around him.

Edit: From the match report on Cricinfo:


View attachment 746851View attachment 746852
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Siddle and Patto to open the batting/roll the arm over for a few overs?

Wouldn't be unheard of because DID YOU KNOW PATTINSON OPENED THE BATTING AS A JUINOR? Surprised that didn't get more of a run when he was batting. Or maybe it did and I was asleep at the time.
Anyway, will be interesting to see how it plays out. Wade has probably secured his spot but the opening situation will be a difficult fix.
 
Just realized I wrote "grave" instead of "grace". Wade should be looking over his shoulder.
 
I’d still lean towards dumping Wade. He was the seasoned pro with a truckload of recent first class runs under his belt who was meant to give the middle order stability. He failed to do that in 8/10 innings.

Disappointed to not win the series but didn’t deserve to. The English are shit and have put all their eggs into the white ball basket. Anderson bowled 4 overs in the series. There appeared to be the least amount of swing since the 2005 Ashes and conditions seemed to be more balanced. Australia couldn’t have been better prepared pre series, in terms of adjusting to conditions.

Then on the Australian side there were countless stuff ups and bedshit moments.
The batting was carried by Smith and Labuschagne and the bowling by Cummins and my mate Hazlewood, the rest were generally shit. Probably lucky to retain the urn, really.
 

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