Crow's Jokes

[Ford Fairlane]

I might've even read this one on these Boards once ...

The Pope is visiting South Australia as part of his world goodwill tour. On one of his days off he is taken to Port Lincoln. The Pope is walking along the beach when suddenly he hears a man screaming for help. He grabs some binoculars from his attendant and sees a man in a crows guernsey in the water being attacked by a shark. Suddenly a boat appears out of nowhere being driven by a man in a Power guernsey. With him are two other men in Power guernseys. The three men attack the shark with lumps of wood before bringing it into the boat and pulling the badly injured crows supporter out of its mouth. When they return to the shore the Pope rushes up to them and expresses his amazement "All the time I have been in South Australia all I have heard is how there is no chance for goodwill between Port and crows supporters, that you hate each other too much. But here I have witnessed a miracle, Port supporters risking their lives to save a crows supporter. It is truly wonderful and I will tell everyone about this on my world goodwill tour. Bless you all". With that the Pope left. One of the Port supporters said to the other "Mate what was that all about? Who was that guy anyway?" And his mate replied "I've got no idea, but he knows bugger all about shark fishing. Go and take the bait back out and let's see if we can get something bigger this time!"

 

[Ray Nolan]

A Port fan, a Collingwood fan and a Crows fan were all in Saudi Arabia with a smuggled crate of booze. All of a sudden the Saudi police rushed in and arrested them. The mere possession of alcohol is a severe offence in Saudi Arabia, so for the terrible crime of actually being caught consuming the booze, they were sentenced to death!

However, after many months and with the help of very good lawyers, they were able to successfully appeal their sentence down to life imprisonment.

By a stroke of luck, it was a Saudi national holiday the day their trial finished, and the extremely benevolent Sheikh decided they could be released after receiving just 20 lashes each of the whip. As they were preparing for their punishment, the Sheikh suddenly said: "It's my first wife's birthday today, and she has asked me to allow each of you one wish before your whipping."

The Crows fan was first in line (he had drunk the least), so he thought about this for a while and then said: "Can you tie a pillow to me back mate". This was done, but the pillow only lasted 10 lashes before the whip went through. The Crows fan had to be carried away bleeding and crying with pain when the punishment was done.

The Collingwood fan was next up (he had finished almost half a can), and after watching the scene, said: "Oi calm down! Strap two pillows to me back". But even two pillows could only take 15 lashes before the whip went through again.

The Port fan was the last one up (he had finished off the crate), but before he could say anything, the Sheikh turned to him and said: "You are from a most beautiful part of the world, your team has some of the best and most loyal football fans in the world. For this, you may have two wishes!" "Cheers mate, your Most Royal and Merciful highness", The Port fan replies, "In recognition of your kindness, my first wish is that you give me not 20, but 100 lashes."

"Not only are you an honourable, handsome and powerful man, you are also very brave." The Sheik says with an admiring look on his face. "If 100 lashes is what you desire, then so be it. And your second wish? What is it to be?" the Sheik asks. "Strap the Crows fan to my back please."

 

[Rave Slave]

Oldies but goodies - all these crows and port jokes are a good laugh really

Whats the difference between a female port fan and a bull mastiff?
Make up

How many port fans does it take to change a lightbulb?
None they can't afford electricity

What do you call a port fan with an IQ of 50?
Intelligent

What do you call a port fan that says he's smart, funny, intelligent sophisticated and interesting?
A liar

What do you call a police officer that supports Port Power?
Undercover

 

[Mad Dog]

If you ask the admins nicely they might let you change your user name so that it's not so obvious you are a moron.

ahhhh but we'd still know !

 

[Count Zero]

At least half your post is correct And seeing as you're a Port supporter, I'll make it simple. Iwas referring to the bottom half of your post Now off you go don't you have an evening meal to steal for your family.....

I knew you would not let me down

 

[True_Beleiver]

Seems ive struck a nerve,lol

 

[Falchoon]

Nice user name. That's GOLD.

Seems ive struck a nerve,lol

Repeat after me "I before E except after C"

 

[CaptainDangerfield]

All Port fans are pea-brained morons who would rather steal than buy, and are usually married to their siblings.
Now what we do now is just to endlessly repeat these stereotypes, with minor unimaginative variations, and call it.... Big Footy.

Good Post...Now get back to the servants quarters.

 

[maccas_no1]

Did carey and burns play for Port Adelaide. No. Blows your theory away.

Anyway the crows trades and pick ups are enough to make me laugh.

So do some of Ports, we didnt want David Brown or Brett Chalmer's, but Port did

 

[maccas_no1]

Repeat after me "I before E except after C"

Gold, top work

I would rep you for this post but I have given out too much reputation in the last 24hrs

 

[Markthirtytwo]

The difference between Crows fans and Port Power fans is that Crow fans know the difference between their girl friend and mother.

 

[Mad Dog]

The difference between Crows fans and Port Power fans is that Crow fans know the difference between their girl friend and mother.

...said a very wise man once !

 

[Count Zero]

Good Post...Now get back to the servants quarters.

An original variation on the old theme. Well done.

 

[Paralowiepower]

The difference between Crows fans and Port Power fans is that Crow fans know the difference between their girl friend and mother.

And that's just the female crow fans!

 

[dA Crow]

The difference between Crows fans and Port Power fans is that Crow fans know the difference between their girl friend and mother.

In some cases for Port Fans girl friend and mother are the same !

 

[Count Zero]

If there is something called the "originality gene", then some people must have had it removed at birth.

 

[beenreal]

Knowledge is POWER!

The difference between Port Adelaide supporters' and Adelaide supporters';

Port Adelaide supporters' know football.

Adelaide supporters' know about football.

 

[Crowked]

Re: Knowledge is POWER!

The difference between Port Adelaide supporters' and Adelaide supporters';

Port Adelaide supporters' know football.

Adelaide supporters' know about football.

hehehehhehehhehehehehhehe

classic shyte, the sytiest shyte of all time.

 

[Mong]

Re: Knowledge is POWER!

The difference between Port Adelaide supporters' and Adelaide supporters';

Port Adelaide supporters' know football.

Adelaide supporters' know about football.

Have you heard the one about the Port fan who added an apostrophe each time he wrote the word supporters?

 

[Markthirtytwo]

Re: Knowledge is POWER!

The difference between Port Adelaide supporters' and Adelaide supporters';

Port Adelaide supporters' know football.

Adelaide supporters' know about football.

Thinking inside the square again as usual.

Pity someone had to put you up to it shorty.

 

[Markthirtytwo]

Re: Knowledge is POWER!

The difference between Port Adelaide supporters' and Adelaide supporters';

Port Adelaide supporters' know football.

Adelaide supporters' know about football.

By the way, the title is an oxy moron. Sound familiar Port fans.