Cultural difference - Hitter's prob

[The Hitman]

First of all, i hope anything I say or express in this post doesn't come across as rascist. That's the last thing I am.

There is this girl called Thomai [Tom-i] who is a close friend at school, and I have really started to like her the last few months.

I told her this on the second last day, which I thought I never would, because I didn't think I would have a chance. She wanted to 'talk' the next day, so we met at school, and she told me she liked me too, and had for over a year.

One problem. She and her family are Greek and her parents are super overprotective.

This is to the extent that she can't even go to the local Dandenong Plaza without a close girlfriend of hers or her older brother, who is 19 and basically her chaffeur/bodyguard. He drives her everywhere, and picks her up and stuff.

So school is now over, and we have gone from seeing each other five times a week all day, to when we are out in a group of friends at Dandy Plaza.

Her brother could go out wherever, whenever, and whoever he wanted to go with. So why can't she? I know it's the 'European way', but we are in the 21st century in Australia. Surely she can have a boyfriend or at least go places by herself at 17. In one year she can drive, smoke, drink, gamble, vote...

It is just so frustrating, as we won't see each other much, and I have to savour the time we have together like Wednesday at the movies...

The Hitman

 

[Macca19]

Originally posted by The Hitman

Her brother could go out wherever, whenever, and whoever he wanted to go with. So why can't she? I know it's the 'European way', but we are in the 21st century in Australia. Surely she can have a boyfriend or at least go places by herself at 17. In one year she can drive, smoke, drink, gamble, vote...

I have a greek female friend whos basically exactly the same. Not AS bad as that anymore (but remember im 4 years older than you) but it used to be pretty bad.
I think its just a European thing. They always seem to be over protective of their daughters...some more than others. I live in a very "woggy" area of Adelaide...in my street...and the little crescent that goes off my street, my family is the only "english" one there (and im half european too)...and they all seem to be very over protective.

My next door neighbour is a strange case...their whole house is an off black colour, with VERY dark double tinted windows, roller shutters covering nearly every window...in the 15 or so years ive lived in this house ive probably seen them about 20 times in total....my other neighbour i see twice a day!!!!
Its really quite wierd...and freaky. I dunno what they are doing in that house, cos you never hear anything (only thing you hear is the odd fight), never see em, its really wierd

but anyway....yeah...i think its just a European over protectiveness thing.

 

[Dave]

Originally posted by The Hitman
It is just so frustrating, as we won't see each other much, and I have to savour the time we have together like Wednesday at the movies...

Patience Hitman, good things come to those who wait. I know it's frustrating, but just remember that her parents are (in all likelyhood) only trying to do what's best for her. Yes it may be discrimination that her brother can do what he wants, but as Macca said, he's older. And parents (at least those I know) have always been more protective of daughters than sons for the simple reason that men are stronger and thus more able to defend themselves.

If it's meant to be it'll happen, in the meantime enjoy the wednesdays - absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that!

 

[Jars458]

Boys can't get pregnant and can more easily look after themselves

I think that's the big difference.

A lot of it is probably has its roots in sexism though.

I think such a phonemena is not limited to Europeans.

She obviosuly has no taste anyway if she likes Hitman!!

 

[Santos L Helper]

Watch out for those Greeks Hitman.

 

[Dr Lurve]

Dr Lurve suggests that you break out the souvlaki, dim the lights and ply her brother full of ouzo until he passes out. The little babe will be yours for the taking.

Then give her the sweet sweet lurve.........Aww yeah baby.

 

[mantis]

Re: Re: Cultural difference - Hitter's prob

Originally posted by Dave


Patience Hitman, good things come to those who wait. I know it's frustrating, but just remember that her parents are (in all likelyhood) only trying to do what's best for her. Yes it may be discrimination that her brother can do what he wants, but as Macca said, he's older. And parents (at least those I know) have always been more protective of daughters than sons for the simple reason that men are stronger and thus more able to defend themselves.

If it's meant to be it'll happen, in the meantime enjoy the wednesdays - absence makes the heart grow fonder and all that!

Yes Dave but what about that other saying, öut of sight out of mind".

 

[Dave]

Re: Re: Re: Cultural difference - Hitter's prob

Originally posted by mantis
Yes Dave but what about that other saying, öut of sight out of mind".

True, when they're (daughters) out of our sight we're out of our minds

 

[The Hitman]

Originally posted by Jars458
Boys can't get pregnant and can more easily look after themselves

I think that's the big difference.

A lot of it is probably has its roots in sexism though.

I think such a phonemena is not limited to Europeans.

She obviosuly has no taste anyway if she likes Hitman!!

I'm not gonna get her pregnant.

Every Australian girl I know can go out with a guy or at least Dandenong Plaza by themselves at 17.

She obviously hasn't got good tatse, don't ya think I warn her and tell her!

The Hitman

 

[gordon carlyon]

Hitman

Why dont you see her at her home? That way her parents can get to know you. At the moment they dont know anyting about you.

In European families it is important for the families to get to know each other as it reveals what the children are likely to be.

You dont have to go out to see her.

 

[dogboy23]

Not worth it Hitter move on

 

[Frodo]

I have had two experiences with employees in tight family situations and boyfriend problems. Both resulted in similar outcomes. One girl was Macedonian and was heavily protected, the other Turkish and her husband to be (she had never met) was in the Turkish Navy. Both met boys they liked and had to meet up with them sneakily. Both ended up leaving the State and home, quitting their families and jobs for love.
The Turkish girl came home two years later, the relationship broken. The Macedonian girl married and has a child now and finaly her family have accepted her again after four years.

What this shows is the big cultural differences we have in Australia nad how it can rent children apart mentally as they have to deal with one culture at home and another at school/work.
I believe that when coming to australia a commitment needs to be made to embrace the Australian way of life and if not shrug off the cultures of a former nation then at least be open enough to give some leaway to your children and ease their transition.
This commitment should be part of the application process for entering Australia.

 

[Joe Mama]

Don't even bother putting on the veranda light for this one Hitman, it's never going to happen, trust me.

My neighbours are strict Italian catholics, and thier oldest daughter was caught in a fairly uncompromising situation with an aussie (no it wasn't me, they would have cut my balls off if it was ), and the **** hit the fan, there was all sorts of arguments, the daughter's relationship ended and there were a few tempers frayed.

My grandparents were the same (they're German/Danish) they used to have my aunties on a leash, whilst my dad and all the boys got away with murder, it's one of those things you got do deal with European families, because they're tight and they don't want to see thier daughters going out with morons, and they go to any lenghts to prevent that happening.

But, if you love her that much, you'll be prepared to meet that challenge, if your ready to do that, I wish to good luck.

 

[walshy1993]

if she means that much to you (and she sounds like she does)
then you have to go for it
otherwise you will spend your life wondering what could have been

you will know, inside yourself, what the right thing to do is

 

[Smokin]

Originally posted by The Hitman
I know it's the 'European way', but we are in the 21st century in Australia.

You are in the 21st century in Australia - where as I grew up just like they did in Bianco, Calabria in 1932!

Im telling you - us wogs live in a time warp - the old wogs are very old fashioned and while the world progresses, they think that if they were to go back to their home towns it would be exactly as they left it.

Ive been back - from what I was told to what actually it is like is very different. Times change - even in Calabria believe it or not! The Mafia doesnt have the hold it used to, girls are allowed out, guys have earnings, died hair and even family values have changed a bit.

To me I dont care - as I guy I had it sweet growing up, wog blokes live like kings, the women feed us and make us coffee! haha Its a joke, but thats the way it is.

Hitman - it will take time, but it can happen. It will take time - and I mean time - One guy took like 3-4 years of going out with my cuz before getting the trust of my aunty/uncle and the rest of the family. And if you are a "couple" - rest assured you are the topic of a heated discussion every night at the dinner table! haha

Just dont do anything stupid - the wog community is one big family, and before you know it half of the western suburbs will turn up on your doorstep!

 

[topdon]

Re: Re: Cultural difference - Hitter's prob

Originally posted by Smokin

To me I dont care - as I guy I had it sweet growing up, wog blokes live like kings, the women feed us and make us coffee!

That's the best part!! Wouldn't swap my wogness for anything!!

 

[sbagman]

Yes, as much as people like to say "it's a European thing", I think it's more like it's a wog thing. I can't speak for other nationalities, but I know the Italians who came over here in the 1950's still cling on to the Italy they remember from the 1950's.