Cutting ties with family

norway blue

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#26
plenty of individuals I'd like to never see again, but can't cut them off without also cutting off people I actually love. A common dilemma I would assume.
There has to be common ground Perth . But cutting people or being cut it seems to be a part of life . I mean you should never tolerate a fool .


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revo333

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#27
\I gave up the cricket about two months ago because it started to get to me and I wasn't enjoying it as much as I used to. I gave them no noticed and just dropped out the group chat for the SPL cricket because I felt they didn't deserve an explanation.
funny...

I left a cricket club for sought of the same reason, I started to notice i wasn't getting told anything about trainings and so on and then before the season starts i find out the club had a private FB messenger group.

I go on a holiday instead and i come back halfway through the season and they start annoying me to play and instead I went to play for another club the next season.

Havn't spoken to most of them since and it's been one of the best things I've ever done.
 

footyfan78

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#28
I never cut ties but certainly one brother I stopped making the effort to contact him over ten years ago. He has some issues of mental health but somethings he did pissed me off so much, I never felt I wanted to try to relate to him anymore. Took too much of my energy than his behaviour deserved. Does get annoying some times when older sister expects me to keep in contact with this brother. I do not keep in contact with lots of cousins interstate as never grew up with them. Just do not have that strong bond. They would feel like strangers to me if I was in their city and other family members expect I would visit. But these things are two way things. All relationships whether family or not, if both sides do not consciously make effort to have an ongoing relationship, one part that did make effort in past is likely to stop eventually. If I do not feel a relationship is of value in my life, I will not go out of my way to maintain one.
 

Shell

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#29
As for cutting ties with family, could never do that. .
Under the certain circumstances I believe 100% I could- and that would most likely come from say a Bilal Skaff kind of crime, or murder. I would legit not turn up in court, support them or anything. Would be dead to me.



/and fwiw sorry re. all you've been through.
 

Deliverance

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#31
have you ever done it? Know someone who has? Please share experiences, how it was done, why and the long term effects ect ect....
If your family is shit, it might be easier to cut ties I guess. But if you're close with your family it's a bit trickier.
Someone close to me had their family disintegrate a bit once the parents died. It takes a long time to move on and try to figure out why people behave the way they do. In the end it's a need to accept that the issues they have are their own and if they can't change, the pain of moving on will eventually outweigh the pain of staying.
So, in a nutshell, if you're considering it, don't expect it to be easy, unless your family are campaigners or you have psychopathic tendencies and don't care much about human relationships

.

I don't really cut ties with people, I just stop communicating with them.
Isn't that the same thing? o_O
 
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#32
This question should only be answered by people with an Anglo background as it’s doesn’t appear to be too common.

Us people with a Mediterranean background....well of course family ties have been cut off. It’s a normal part of life.
Especially when there’s a will or estate involved.

It would be out of the norm if some family member didn’t roll in old nona or yaya into a solicitors office get her to sign over the house to you whilst she’s 6 months off carking it with Alzheimer’s. First in best dressed. Then the drama begins.

Cousin John has a new holiday house, boat and HSV. A year later his wife is divorcing him taking half of Nona’s estate that John ripped off in the first place.
 

comewhatmay

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#33
If your family is shit, it might be easier to cut ties I guess. But if you're close with your family it's a bit trickier.
Someone close to me had their family disintegrate a bit once the parents died. It takes a long time to move on and try to figure out why people behave the way they do. In the end it's a need to accept that the issues they have are their own and if they can't change, the pain of moving on will eventually outweigh the pain of staying.
So, in a nutshell, if you're considering it, don't expect it to be easy, unless your family are campaigners or you have psychopathic tendencies and don't care much about human relationships


Isn't that the same thing? o_O
Not quite the same

In my case, there's no drama about it, no final straw moment
 
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Thread starter #34
If your family is shit, it might be easier to cut ties I guess. But if you're close with your family it's a bit trickier.
Someone close to me had their family disintegrate a bit once the parents died. It takes a long time to move on and try to figure out why people behave the way they do. In the end it's a need to accept that the issues they have are their own and if they can't change, the pain of moving on will eventually outweigh the pain of staying.
So, in a nutshell, if you're considering it, don't expect it to be easy, unless your family are campaigners or you have psychopathic tendencies and don't care much about human relationships


Isn't that the same thing? o_O
One parent left! Things are difficult!
 

RolandF1

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#35
I cut off my father permanently a couple of years ago. It was a long time coming. He basically didn't want to continue being a father when I was around 14 years old and so my Mum, sister and I had to moved away and started over elsewhere. He saw us for a few years after (mostly unannounced) but then got mixed up with another woman and said we weren't his problem anymore during a critical time and saw him in person rarely after.

Sometime later he started calling every 2 weeks to see what I was up to and some of the convos would get underhandedly insulting but I continued on with it. When he was in town it was always announced as doing something else but might as well see the kids for a hour while I'm here and it was always with that woman he was with who always had her turn at taking digs. There a lot of stuff in between I won't go into but I'll just say his partner encourages his worst behavioural traits. Anyway he always said he was going to be in town the day before or on the day demanding to see me, keeping in mined this was random, like a weekday while I'm busy working. Outside of quick lunches I haven't done anything social with my father in over 20 years even though I know he does a lot of social things.

Over time I dreaded talking with him over the phone because it just didn't make me feel good about myself and the partner always seemed to be in the background having her bit on occasion, and so I slowly ignored his calls, then he'd complain to my sister. One day my sister meets up with Dad and his partner and she said something to my sister that was incredibly insulting, so much so the woman froze in her tracks when my sister yelled at her about it in the public place. She just got up silently and walked away with my Dad apologising on her behalf (rarely makes apologies!) but he never defended my sister at all to the partner and called it out. When my sister told me about it, I just couldn't be bothered talking with him at all and didn't for a while. Then on my birthday a couple of years back when he called I decided to just confront him about everything. He basically just tried to paint himself as the victim and deflected a lot of things back, trivialising real issues with trivial issues he had himself. Then I referred to that nasty incident with my sister and his partner and he denied it ever happened, painting my sister as a liar. That was it for me. My sister can be a lot of things but would never lie about something that serious. He still sends texts on my birthday but never apologising or wanting to make amendments. My Mum doesn't like Dad more than most but still thinks I should talk / see him but I can't knowing how it won't change anything or be a positive experience for me. If he can deny that incident just blank to win an argument (like I've seen him do in the past) then he's not worth bothering with. I should have done it earlier.
 

CheapCharlie

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#36
I cut off my father permanently a couple of years ago. It was a long time coming. He basically didn't want to continue being a father when I was around 14 years old and so my Mum, sister and I had to moved away and started over elsewhere. He saw us for a few years after (mostly unannounced) but then got mixed up with another woman and said we weren't his problem anymore during a critical time and saw him in person rarely after.

Sometime later he started calling every 2 weeks to see what I was up to and some of the convos would get underhandedly insulting but I continued on with it. When he was in town it was always announced as doing something else but might as well see the kids for a hour while I'm here and it was always with that woman he was with who always had her turn at taking digs. There a lot of stuff in between I won't go into but I'll just say his partner encourages his worst behavioural traits. Anyway he always said he was going to be in town the day before or on the day demanding to see me, keeping in mined this was random, like a weekday while I'm busy working. Outside of quick lunches I haven't done anything social with my father in over 20 years even though I know he does a lot of social things.

Over time I dreaded talking with him over the phone because it just didn't make me feel good about myself and the partner always seemed to be in the background having her bit on occasion, and so I slowly ignored his calls, then he'd complain to my sister. One day my sister meets up with Dad and his partner and she said something to my sister that was incredibly insulting, so much so the woman froze in her tracks when my sister yelled at her about it in the public place. She just got up silently and walked away with my Dad apologising on her behalf (rarely makes apologies!) but he never defended my sister at all to the partner and called it out. When my sister told me about it, I just couldn't be bothered talking with him at all and didn't for a while. Then on my birthday a couple of years back when he called I decided to just confront him about everything. He basically just tried to paint himself as the victim and deflected a lot of things back, trivialising real issues with trivial issues he had himself. Then I referred to that nasty incident with my sister and his partner and he denied it ever happened, painting my sister as a liar. That was it for me. My sister can be a lot of things but would never lie about something that serious. He still sends texts on my birthday but never apologising or wanting to make amendments. My Mum doesn't like Dad more than most but still thinks I should talk / see him but I can't knowing how it won't change anything or be a positive experience for me. If he can deny that incident just blank to win an argument (like I've seen him do in the past) then he's not worth bothering with. I should have done it earlier.
Sadly , your dad is a real campaigner
 

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mattyb2607

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#37
my in-laws cut ties with both their respective families, my father in law because his mother didn't approve the marriage, never saw her again and hasn't spoken with his brothers, they being German and my mother in law being Dutch, my mother in law doesn't speak with her brothers or sister due to some bullshit that hasn't really been spoken about, now there is a will involved back in Holland, there has been some contact between them.
 
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Thread starter #38
my in-laws cut ties with both their respective families, my father in law because his mother didn't approve the marriage, never saw her again and hasn't spoken with his brothers, they being German and my mother in law being Dutch, my mother in law doesn't speak with her brothers or sister due to some bullshit that hasn't really been spoken about, now there is a will involved back in Holland, there has been some contact between them.
always a will or money needs in general, I have someone like that, don't hear from him until money is needed or his life goes to shit, mummy constantly bails him out but when he's fine you don't hear from him. when his times are both good and bad independently, he constantly hangs shit on family but expects them to do everything for him. absolute scum. he's 40 years old too the low life
 

ioppolo

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#40
I haven't spoken to my extended family (basically anyone other than my mother or grandmother) for a couple years. I don't even see them at Christmas anymore. Couldn't care less.
 

Shell

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#43
Also cut ties with half of the family over the fallout of a will.

******* pigs
Yeah never thought it would happen to my family but here we are.

It so bloody funny (srcsm)- ive heard both sides of the story from my uncles POV (who heard it from my dad- my dad himself would never speak to me) v my aunties POV (who was directly involved- unlike the previously mentioned uncle) and the stories are so far apart from each other its hilarious.


All about the house, getting their greedy mitts on it, buying more property next door so they could subdivide, etc.
 
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Yeah never thought it would happen to my family but here we are.

It so bloody funny (srcsm)- ive heard both sides of the story from my uncles POV (who heard it from my dad- my dad himself would never speak to me) v my aunties POV (who was directly involved- unlike the previously mentioned uncle) and the stories are so far apart from each other its hilarious.


All about the house, getting their greedy mitts on it, buying more property next door do they could subdivide, etc.
a will should never be able to be contested in my opinion
 

Shell

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#45
a will should never be able to be contested in my opinion
The will being contested wasnt the issue- it was clear it went to my dad and his sister.

His sisters sons (my cousins) wanted a good deal on the house to buy it off him and then buy the one next door and build a whole shitload of townhouses. My dad said get ****** I wanna sell it at auction and whatever happens happens, you're not getting some bargain basement price.


I dont blame my dad in the slightest tbh. (IF that is the story and thats what happened- from my dads POV my cousins acted like complete and utter assholes about it)
 
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The will being contested wasnt the issue- it was clear it went to my dad and his sister.

His sisters sons (my cousins) wanted a good deal on the house to buy it off him and then buy the one next door and build a whole shitload of townhouses. My dad said get ****** I wanna sell it at auction and whatever happens happens, you're not getting some bargain basement price.


I dont blame my dad in the slightest tbh. (IF that is the story and thats what happened- from my dads POV my cousins acted like complete and utter assholes about it)
yep, get faaarked cousins!!!!
 
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Thread starter #49
I absolutely disagree. There are children out there who get cut off because of reasons not of their doing.

Look at that campaigner Yoko Ono and how she treated Julian Lennon.
How did that play out exactly? I'm not googling it, but was the will distributed as Lennon had it in place, or was it Yoko ono who contested and screwed him ect?
 
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