Cutting ties with family

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I'm fairly certain my mum and dad would distribute it evenly between us three kids.

Possibly even give me more, seeing as how I've lived out of home and supported myself since 25 and my brothers the blood sucking campaigners they are have hung around, even until today.
Could work against you, shell will be ok, independent ect, the poor boys at home, they’ll be homeless and in a ditch or dead if we don’t leave them most of it, ect ect
 

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Off The Couch

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#78
My nephew died without a will - at the time of his death his daughter was 11. He and the mother of the child had separated before the baby was born so my sister presumed that she was the executor with the daughter being the sole beneficiary. I think within 24hrs of the funeral the ex had engaged a lawyer and my sister was directed to hand everything over to the ex and that she was to be trustee for the daughter. We doubt this is what happened and doubt there’s anything left of the estate but what can you do.

My SIL cared for her mother for 20 years and apart from the unit she owned but didn’t live in (would go during the day and then back to her daughters) she had nothing else. On the day of the funeral and reading of the will, one of the brothers accused her of stealing and demanded to know where all the money was (she got a pension) and wanted copies of all bills etc. It was mind blowing how quickly the whole family went from a supposedly functional family to totally dysfunctional and ten years on barely speak to one another.


I’m sure in a lot of situations it’s the mum that keeps families connected and the minute she’s gone, the separation begins
 

CheapCharlie

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#79
I'm fairly certain my mum and dad would distribute it evenly between us three kids.

Possibly even give me more, seeing as how I've lived out of home and supported myself since 25 and my brothers the blood sucking campaigners they are have hung around, even until today.
The more independent kid usually gets less.
The kid who was reliant gets more... Because they have less in life.

Basically the shittiest most selfish child does the best from a will
 
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Golden_6

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#84
Could work against you, shell will be ok, independent ect, the poor boys at home, they’ll be homeless and in a ditch or dead if we don’t leave them most of it, ect ect
A bit off topic but I get so annoyed at my family situation.

The backstory is that my grandparents are quite well off. He worked his but off during his career and retired 4 years ago with assets of roughly $1.2 million in super and an $800k home, all through his own doing.

My aunty went through quite a difficult separation around 6 years ago where her ex-husband was effectively cut off from her and his children's lives (for good reason). My aunty was bankrupt but at the same time had never held down a job in her life, had no skills or career aspirations whatsoever. Her two kids (my cousins) and herself moved into my grandparents place for around 2 years following the separation as they had no money or place to live which is completely okay with me as my grandparents were in a position to help out, and to allow them to get back on their feet.

Fast forward 4 years and she has bounced around between 7 or 8 jobs (each lasting a couple of months) and has spent at least half of that time unemployed. Each time another ridiculous excuse comes up as to why the employment arrangement didn't work out. She lives in a nice rental with her two kids, and with essentially no income coming in my grandparents have been footing the bill. Rent, bills, food, expensive school fees. They're too focused on the grand kids well being to worry but my aunty sits around all day and does nothing. She has no aspirations to move forward with her life and support her kids, as she knows that there is always an easy way out.

The thing that gripes me the most is my own mothers situation. She went through her own separation at the same time, and now works long hours to pay the mortgage in a single income household. She NEVER asks for money even though she barely scrapes by, as that's the way she has always been.
 
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A bit off topic but I get so annoyed at my family situation.

The backstory is that my grandparents are quite well off. He worked his but off during his career and retired 4 years ago with assets of roughly $1.2 million in super and an $800k home, all through his own doing.

My aunty went through quite a difficult separation around 6 years ago where her ex-husband was effectively cut off from her and his children's lives (for good reason). My aunty was bankrupt but at the same time had never held down a job in her life, had no skills or career aspirations whatsoever. Her two kids (my cousins) and herself moved into my grandparents place for around 2 years following the separation as they had no money or place to live which is completely okay with me as my grandparents were in a position to help out, and to allow them to get back on their feet.

Fast forward 4 years and she has bounced around between 7 or 8 jobs (each lasting a couple of months) and has spent at least half of that time unemployed. Each time another ridiculous excuse comes up as to why the employment arrangement didn't work out. She lives in a nice rental with her two kids, and with essentially no income coming in my grandparents have been footing the bill. Rent, bills, food, expensive school fees. They're too focused on the grand kids well being to worry but my aunty sits around all day and does nothing. She has no aspirations to move forward with her life and support her kids, as she knows that there is always an easy way out.

The thing that gripes me the most is my own mothers situation. She went through her own separation at the same time, and now works long hours to pay the mortgage in a single income household. She NEVER asks for money even though she barely scrapes by, as that's the way she has always been.
Sounds too common of a situation. The best thing you will get out of this is that you should have your mum on a pedestal as she is leading with the right example. However the overall story itself is as I said , extremely common, every family seems to have one or a handful of your aunties.
 
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#86
Heaps of times, I come from a very large family (my grandfathers were one of fifteenth and one of eighteen respectfully) and their is a lot of in-fighting. Mostly due to some of them thinking they are too good/higher than us. Their ******* loss.
I have only formally cut off ties once. A couple of my cousin said some very hurtful things to my grandparents, once to saw them again I told them basically to get ****** and to loss my number.
 

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#87
I've basically cut ties with my sister due to conflicting worldviews which came to a head with the plebiscite last year. We still see each other occasionally if we are both at mum's at the same time and we are civil to each other but I definitely don't go out of my way to spend time with her.
My sister has just informed mum and I that she and her family are moving further north in the New Year. I think this Christmas will be the last I see of them as I definitely won't be making the trip to see them.
 

SHAKESPEARE

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My sister has just informed mum and I that she and her family are moving further north in the New Year. I think this Christmas will be the last I see of them as I definitely won't be making the trip to see them.
Congratulations.

My immediate family have a great relationship though. It's 4 of us against the world...the way we like it.
 

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#90
Congratulations.

My immediate family have a great relationship though. It's 4 of us against the world...the way we like it.
Yeah my immediate family all get along.

My GFs family always seems to ve dramas and certain people cant be in the same room at the same time.

Its a joke

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Larry Barnsworth

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Yeah my immediate family all get along.

My GFs family always seems to ve dramas and certain people cant be in the same room at the same time.

Its a joke

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Some people's first reaction to anything is "The Drama".
My ex's family was heavily populated by these types. It was very noisy.
I inadvertently kicked off a couple of family feuds for them by shitstirring for my own amusement.
Did I mention that it was very noisy!?
 

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#92
Some people's first reaction to anything is "The Drama".
My ex's family was heavily populated by these types. It was very noisy.
I inadvertently kicked off a couple of family feuds for them by shitstirring for my own amusement.
Did I mention that it was very noisy!?
Yeah unnecessarily loud. People wanting to be heard over others. I find it uncomfortable. But its what u gotta put up with for a few hours every few months so just deal with it really.



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Cruyff14

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#93
When my dad's mum died, there was a bit of a fallout between some of his siblings. He is one of four, his brother did not talk to him for two years over the will or money being owed or something, and his brother also did not speak to his sisters either.

My mum's brother currently is a fruit loop. He only wants to be contacted by having a letter written to him. His father (my pa) was on his deathbed last year and did not even bother to call any of his siblings/my nanna.

He called my mum saying how nobody cares about him or something, and she said you can't even pick up the phone to call your mother, he said something and she said **** you and hung up. She doesn't care if she never speaks to him again I think.
 

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When my dad's mum died, there was a bit of a fallout between some of his siblings. He is one of four, his brother did not talk to him for two years over the will or money being owed or something, and his brother also did not speak to his sisters either.

My mum's brother currently is a fruit loop. He only wants to be contacted by having a letter written to him. His father (my pa) was on his deathbed last year and did not even bother to call any of his siblings/my nanna.

He called my mum saying how nobody cares about him or something, and she said you can't even pick up the phone to call your mother, he said something and she said **** you and hung up. She doesn't care if she never speaks to him again I think.
Nothing like a death in the family for bringing out the worst in people
 

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Nothing like a death in the family for bringing out the worst in people
Yup. Though my mum's brother has always been a bit weird.

My pa is still alive FWIW, but I don't think anybody has spoken to him. I haven't seen him in nearly three years.

What's the worst though is my nanna is the one that suffers the most, it's her youngest child and he's basically estranged himself from the family.
 

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Yup. Though my mum's brother has always been a bit weird.

My pa is still alive FWIW, but I don't think anybody has spoken to him. I haven't seen him in nearly three years.

What's the worst though is my nanna is the one that suffers the most, it's her youngest child and he's basically estranged himself from the family.
My nana's youngest, my auntie, has done the same. She's an actual human piece of garbage. Even half of her own children won't speak to her. The other half are minors so it's only a matter of time. It breaks my nana's heart that none of us speak to this deadshit but there's nothing we can do about it.
 

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#98
My nana's youngest, my auntie, has done the same. She's an actual human piece of garbage. Even half of her own children won't speak to her. The other half are minors so it's only a matter of time. It breaks my nana's heart that none of us speak to this deadshit but there's nothing we can do about it.
Yeah it's rough.

Well my uncle is unmarried, on disability pension and declared bankruptcy in the 90s. My aunty would have given him about $20,000 over the years I reckon (single, no kids etc, well paying jobs previously). He lives in a commission home in Windsor in one room or something.

My dad has never liked him. He's been the black sheep of the family. As an adult I tried to give him a chance, but he kept doing and saying dumb shit and eventually became pretty delusional. The first time he met my fiance he said "are we related?". My female cousins feel uncomfortable around him because he says inappropriate things to them (like he would be hitting on them).

Even though he will be owed money when my nanna and pa die, he honestly deserves nothing considering he's done nothing to help them, and acts like he doesn't care. Suddenly he'll be in contact again wanting his money. The grub.
 

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#99
I haven't seen or spoken to my sister in almost 4 years. My life has been fantastic as a result :).

She has also put my parents off side. My dad is the only one who has briefly been in contact a handful of times a year.

Sending death threats to your mother just because you're no longer having them say how high after you say jump isn't on.



My eldest daughter has recently done a nicky after a very traumatic period in her life after realising that she seemed to always be there for “friends” but the one time she desperately needed a friend quite a few went missing. She has done a massive cull and got rid of all the negative energy and those who disappeared - the change has been interesting to say the least.
I did something similar years ago. I dropped a lot of dead weight friendships - those that mooched/constantly asking favours without being grateful AND those that wouldn't help me in a moment of crisis (I'm the type of person who would take a bullet for those I care about). My life is better for it.
 

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Years ago my cousin (daughter of my mums, sister) seriously cut ties with everyone- especially her immediate family and her dad.

They since made up and i see her every year.

But jesus it ******* kills me i've never found out the details of that- mum has never said one word to me. (i havent really asked tho)
Handsy male relative got #metoo, adults refused to do anything, she wouldn't see them again until he was dead.

Would explain mum refusing to talk about it.
 
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