Game Day Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

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Butters Made Me Do It

Drinking tea
Mar 16, 2019
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All right, a lot of you are in close quarters and your families are sick of your dad humour...but you gotta get it out!! Or be at risk of social distance within your own home...

Relax. Here's a place where you can drop your chortleworthy remarks instead, and then go back to your family to act like a normal human being.

I'll start you off:

Hi, I'm starting a thread.
 

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Ford Fairlane

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Feb 21, 2002
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Man and wife are checking out of a hotel. The man notices the bill includes a $50 fee for use of the swimming pool. He tells the hotel clerk they didn't use the pool. The clerk replies, That's not the issue sir, it was there all the time for you to use.

OK says the guy and proceeds to pay the clerk $100 less than the bill. The clerk says, Wait a minute sir, this amount is $100 short. No it's not said the guy, I'm charging you $100 for having sex with my wife.

The clerk is shocked and says, Sir I can assure you I did not have sex with your wife.

The man replies, That's not the issue, she was there all the time.

Boom tish.
 

Ford Fairlane

Moderator
Feb 21, 2002
62,067
117,785
Port Adelaide 5015
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My wife is really mad at the fact that I have no sense of direction. So I packed up my stuff and right.



DAD: I was just listening to the radio on my way in to town, apparently an actress just killed herself.

MOM: Oh my! Who!?

DAD: Uh, I can't remember... I think her name was Reese something?

MOM: WITHERSPOON!!!!!???????

DAD: No, it was with a knife...

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