Game Day Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

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Eddie Dingle

Some more cheese please
Apr 16, 2007
32,671
60,685
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Miss Beatrice, the church organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.​
 

Grave Danger

Brownlow Medallist
Jun 6, 2000
20,474
34,133
West Perth
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
Woomera Centrals, Jazza
Miss Beatrice, the church organist was in her eighties and had never been married. She was admired for her
sweetness and kindness to all. One afternoon the pastor came to call on her and she showed him into her quaint sitting room. She invited him to have a seat while she prepared tea... As he sat facing her old Hammond organ, the young minister noticed a cut glass bowl sitting on top of it. The bowl was filled with water, and in the water floated of all things, a condom! When she returned with tea and scones, they began to chat The pastor tried to stifle his curiosity about the bowl of water and its strange floater, but soon it got the better of him and he could no longer resist. 'Miss Beatrice', he said,
'I wonder if you would tell me about this? Pointing to the bowl. 'Oh, yes,' she replied, 'Isn't it wonderful? I was walking through the park a few months ago and I found this little package on the ground. The directions said to place it on the organ, keep it wet and that it would prevent the spread of disease.
Do you know I haven't had the flu all winter.​

Did she get ribbed?
 

Eddie Dingle

Some more cheese please
Apr 16, 2007
32,671
60,685
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
So there’s this little inflatable boy who goes to an inflatable school with an inflatable head master and one day the little boy runs amok with a drawing pin

pfft, pfft, pfft popping everything

He gets called into the headmasters office for a telling off and the headmaster says to him

“you’ve let yourself down, you’ve let me down, you’ve the whole school down”
 

philreich

Hall of Famer
Mar 2, 2014
30,394
60,774
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
A fanatical Port fan has been to every match and every single training session since the inception of the club, and for some obscure reason it's starting to affect his marriage. He comes home 3 hours late from a training session one night, and his extremely irate wife is ready for him as soon as he opens the front door, "POWER, POWER. HONESTLY - I RECKON YOU LOVE PORT MORE THAN YOU LOVE ME."

The man replies coldly, "Woman: I love the Crows more than I love you."

Divorce proceedings are now underway.......
 

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raman

Premium Platinum
Apr 8, 2005
23,219
66,358
Enemy terriroty
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
A guy gets his fiancee's name, Wendy, tattooed on his dick while in an aroused state... don't ask me how that happened, presumably drugs were involved. In default mode all the penis tattoo says is "WY".

Anyway, they get married and take a Caribbean tour for their honeymoon. Standing at a urinal, old mate notices that the local gentleman beside him also has "WY" on his cock, and says "Your missus is a Wendy too, huh?"

"Oh, no, it says 'Welcome to Jamaica, I hope you enjoy your stay'."

Sorry not sorry.
 

Duck Farmer

Est. 1820
Jul 7, 2007
8,681
19,981
Ziggurat City
AFL Club
Port Adelaide
Other Teams
LUFC, Patriots, Mitchelton-Scott
A guy gets his fiancee's name, Wendy, tattooed on his dick while in an aroused state... don't ask me how that happened, presumably drugs were involved. In default mode all the penis tattoo says is "WY".

Anyway, they get married and take a Caribbean tour for their honeymoon. Standing at a urinal, old mate notices that the local gentleman beside him also has "WY" on his cock, and says "Your missus is a Wendy too, huh?"

"Oh, no, it says 'Welcome to Jamaica, I hope you enjoy your stay'."

Sorry not sorry.
Reminds me of the joke about when the West Indies were touring Australia and Michael Holding and Joel Garner were taking a piss off of the Sydney Harbour Bridge. Holding turns to Garner and says "Hey mon, the water's not too cold". Garner replies "It's not that deep either."
 

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