Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[snozulu]

 

[Doctor Feel]

 

[Relativity]

View attachment 2312624

Rather catch a crab.

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[wannabejack]

From ABC News

 

[Grave Danger]

He's not doing it right if he didn't...

 

[philreich]

 

[wannabejack]

Got a new dog from a blacksmith today.
As soon as I got him home he made a bolt for the door.

 

[snozulu]

 

[snozulu]

Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife and she told me I was right.
"What do I do next?"

 

[Peninsula Boy]

Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife and she told me I was right.
"What do I do next?"

Wake up.

 

[Alberton Proud]

View attachment 2312624

What's the difference between a dirty bus stop and a lobster with boobs ?

One's a crusty bus station, the other's a busty crustacean !

 

[SC_Power]

Guys, I need help here. I just had an argument with my wife and she told me I was right.
"What do I do next?"

Answer 1: Clearly it was only because she chose left.
Answer 2: Do what you’ve always done. Do what she tells you to do.

 

[snozulu]

 

[SonOfKek]

 

[Grave Danger]

What’s the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other needs to see a vet.

---

 

[Ford Fairlane]

 

[Harlott]

 

[snozulu]

 

[philreich]

The missus and I just had a huge blue. She's already thrown 5 cricket balls at me. I said to her angrily, "1 more, and it's over!!!"

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Dutchy5150]

What did the Scottish man say when the bartender took his pint away?

Where did my Glasgow?..

 

[snozulu]

 

[bomberclifford]

View attachment 2377346

Now this right here, is a dad joke. Perfect.

 

[philreich]

Wife: If your wife and mother in law were being attacked by a tiger, who would you save?

Husband: The tiger - there's not many left in the wild.

The husband is now in ICU........