Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

I rear ended a car this morning - the start of a REALLY bad day. The driver of the other car got out - he was a DWARF!!!

He looks up at me and says, "I am NOT happy."

I probably shouldn't have, but I said to him, "Well which one are you then?"
 
Whadda ya call 2 crows supporters?

Attempted murder
In late news, the Crows have just been listed on the Australian Stock Exchange - they'll be known as the All Ordinaries.
 
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reminds me of this one...

My wife and I decided not to have kids.
The kids are taking it pretty hard.
 
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As a consequence of COVID-19, I was working alone in the office last week. At one point, someone walked past me, and asked me why I was talking to myself - I said, "I'm having a staff meeting."
 
Jun 21, 2014
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A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.

One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'

The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.

Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
 
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