Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread
- Thread starter Butters Made Me Do It
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philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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I rear ended a car this morning - the start of a REALLY bad day. The driver of the other car got out - he was a DWARF!!!
He looks up at me and says, "I am NOT happy."
I probably shouldn't have, but I said to him, "Well which one are you then?"
He looks up at me and says, "I am NOT happy."
I probably shouldn't have, but I said to him, "Well which one are you then?"
What happens when a frog's car breaks down?
It has to get toad.
It has to get toad.
That was toadally bad.
Whadda ya call 2 crows supporters?
Attempted murder
Attempted murder
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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In late news, the Crows have just been listed on the Australian Stock Exchange - they'll be known as the All Ordinaries.
Doctor Feel
Shitposter In Chief
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
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- Sep 21, 2004
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- Norwood & Liverpool.
bomberclifford
Importer/Exporter
I told my wife she was the only one I’ve ever been with.
The rest were sevens and eights.
The rest were sevens and eights.
- Mar 10, 2014
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- Man Utd, Celtic, Tanunda
Like a non stop conveyor belt!
A woman buys a face mask for her pet duck to protect it from coronavirus.
She told her friends: "It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill".
She told her friends: "It's nothing flashy, but it fits the bill".
Portology
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bomberclifford
Importer/Exporter
reminds me of this one...
My wife and I decided not to have kids.
The kids are taking it pretty hard.
My wife and I decided not to have kids.
The kids are taking it pretty hard.
Last edited:
Schulzenfest
TheBrownDog
Why did the US police officer wake up early?
To beat the crowds.
To beat the crowds.
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
- 58,548
- 147,444
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
As a consequence of COVID-19, I was working alone in the office last week. At one point, someone walked past me, and asked me why I was talking to myself - I said, "I'm having a staff meeting."
Went swimming today. Took a pee in the deep end.
Lifeguard noticed. Blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
Lifeguard noticed. Blew his whistle so loud I almost fell in.
Contested Marx
Schrodinkley's Cat
- Jun 21, 2014
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- Maggies, Spurs, Raiders?
A woman has twins, and gives them up for adoption.
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
One of them goes to a family in Egypt and is named 'Amal.'
The other goes to a family in Spain, they name him Juan'. Years later; Juan sends a picture of himself to his mum. Upon receiving the picture, she tells her husband that she wished she also had a picture of Amal.
Her husband responds, "But they are twins. If you've seen Juan, you've seen Amal." '
- Mar 1, 2014
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- 4,782
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I think I have told one too many dad jokes as my youngest showed me this.....
philreich
TheBrownDog
- Mar 2, 2014
- 58,548
- 147,444
- AFL Club
- Port Adelaide
My girlfriend says she doesn't trust me. I guess that's just one more thing she has in common with my wife.
He's heard em all...
