Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[VineValerian]

Welcome to the club

This thread seems to be put-tering around a bit too much.

 

[Contested Marx]

This thread seems to be put-tering around a bit too much.

How ironic

I wood have said the same thing

 

[philreich]

The guy next to me in the shops says to me, "I bet you $50 that you can't reach the meat on the top shelf."

I reply, "I'm not betting - the steaks are too high."

 

[Contested Marx]

The guy next to me in the shops says to me, "I bet you $50 that you can't reach the meat on the top shelf."

I reply, "I'm not betting - the steaks are too high."

That joke is right up there

 

[Eddie Dingle]

Why did the Mexican take anti-anxiety medication?


For Hispanic attacks

 

[VineValerian]

The guy next to me in the shops says to me, "I bet you $50 that you can't reach the meat on the top shelf."

I reply, "I'm not betting - the steaks are too high."

That joke sounds false.
Are you loin to us?

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[wannabejack]

So what if I don't know what armageddon means.
It's not the end of the world.

 

[Grave Danger]

So what if I don't know what armageddon means.
It's not the end of the world.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

What’s Beethoven’s favourite fruit?







Ba-na-na-naaaaaa

 

[StuMan]

 

[bomberclifford]

 

[Eddie Dingle]

My brother was addicted to the hokey pokey.

It was a rough couple of years but he turned himself around.

 

[EskimoPAFC]

My brother was addicted to the hokey pokey.

It was a rough couple of years but he turned himself around.

You know, thats what its all about isnt it?

 

[sobrave]

My brother was addicted to the hokey pokey.

It was a rough couple of years but he turned himself around.

I'm addicted to the hanky panky

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Garibaldi Red]

 

[Doctor Feel]

 

[philreich]

View attachment 1039412

Customer: What on earth is that?
Waiter: It's bean soup, sir.
Customer: I don't care what it's been - what the f*** is it now?

 

[Contested Marx]

My doctor told me not to eat anything fatty.

I asked him, what like bacon and ice cream?

He said, No fatty! Don't eat anything!

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[raman]

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?

He worked it out with a pencil.

 

[philreich]

People don't believe I'm as old as I am, until they hear me stand up.

 

[bomberclifford]

 

[Eddie Dingle]

What kind of fish don’t swim?




Dead ones.