Banter Dad Joke Quarantine Thread

[Eddie Dingle]

What’s white and annoying at breakfast?




An avalanche

 

[Eddie Dingle]

How do you make a plumber cry?






Kill his family

 

[Alberton Proud]

What's white and sits in the corner ?






A fridge

 

[bomberclifford]

Why don’t professional boxers have sex before a big fight?



Because they probably don’t like each other very much.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

Why don’t professional boxers have sex before a big fight?



Because they probably don’t like each other very much.

Mike Tyson

 

[Garibaldi Red]

A bloke walks into a GP’s room, and sits down. The GP asks what he can do for him. The patient replies “I think I am a moth”.

‘A moth?” The GP replies, “why did you come to see me?” “ I think you need to see a psychiatrist”.

The patient replies “I saw your light on”.

 

[Dudersaurus]

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with no pants.

"Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

 

[Grave Danger]

A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office with no pants.

"Well, I can clearly see your nuts."

"I can explain..."

 

[Doctor Feel]

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[bomberclifford]

 

[Garibaldi Red]

 

[68vette]

 

[Eddie Dingle]

Did you hear about the Pedo Opera?

The Magic Flute in A Minor

 

[raman]

Did you hear about the Pedo Opera?

The Magic Flute in A Minor

That's a low point even for this thread.

 

[Grave Danger]

That's a low point even for this thread.

But as per the guidelines set out in the OP, Mr Dingle can now go back to his family and act like a normal human being.

 

[Eddie Dingle]

That's a low point even for this thread.

It’s truly awful and to make it even worse it’s a Family Guy joke

 

[philreich]

My nasty ex wife texted me yesterday, "Wish you were here." She does it every time she walks through a cemetery!!!

 

[Cuzz09]

It’s truly awful and to make it even worse it’s a Family Guy joke

i thought Id heard it somewhere

 

[bomberclifford]

Never marry a tennis player.
Love means nothing to them.

 

[Garibaldi Red]

Where would you find Arnold Schwarzenegger actions toys in a store?

Aisle B Back

 

[Garibaldi Red]

Do they allow loud laughs in Hawaii, or just a low ha?

 

[Grave Danger]

 

[Tredz]

A bloke walks into a GP’s room, and sits down. The GP asks what he can do for him. The patient replies “I think I am a moth”.

‘A moth?” The GP replies, “why did you come to see me?” “ I think you need to see a psychiatrist”.

The patient replies “I saw your light on”.

This is disgusting! If the guy identifies as a moth can't we all just be accepting of him and NOT be so insensitive as to make jokes about the mothpeople?

 

[Grave Danger]

I read a book about Stockholm syndrome. It started off badly, but by the end I really liked it.