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7577969923

Norm Smith Medallist
Sep 20, 2018
5,541
14,034
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well, I can't think of anywhere else to put this, but one of the ways to pass time during lockdown boredom was watching 8 out of 10 cats does countdown on youtube. The only other place would have been the grumpy old thread.


RIP Sean Lock. You were bloody funny.
fu**!
 

kangatime

Premium Platinum
Mar 29, 2009
12,113
19,850
kangaplace
AFL Club
North Melbourne
Well, I can't think of anywhere else to put this, but one of the ways to pass time during lockdown boredom was watching 8 out of 10 cats does countdown on youtube. The only other place would have been the grumpy old thread.


RIP Sean Lock. You were bloody funny.
Always sad when someone that makes you laugh so much passes on.
 

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1975

All Australian
Aug 4, 2019
697
1,943
AFL Club
North Melbourne
So, an old guy on his 91st birthday goes into his doctor for his yearly physical at the end of check up doctor says,
Mr Brown you are a modern miracle,
You have the constitution of a 50yo the way you’re going you are going to live till you’re 150.
Mr Brown say, why thank you doctor see you next year.
Doctor say not so fast, in the interest of being thorough I’m going to need a sperm sample.
Mr Brown replies, there is no need for that I’m 91yo for Christ’s sake.
Doctor replies, you’d be very surprised what modern medicine can tell from a sample.
Mr Brown says I’m not doing it! No way! Particularly here in a public office, I won’t.
Doctor says that’s fine hands him a jar and says take this home with you and bring this back tomorrow.
Mr B reluctantly agrees and off he goes.
When he arrives home he notices that his wife is out back hanging the washing and thinks right here’s my chance.
He quickly whips it out and gives it a pull and a twist but nothing happens, so he gives it another go still nothing, by now his wife has started to make her way back to the house so he gives up.
Mrs Brown sees Mr Brown sitting deflated and exhausted and fears the worst she says darling what’s happened? What did the doctor say?
Mr brown say everything is fine, that he is in excellent health but explained what had happened and told her about his difficulties.
Mrs Brown replied, give it here.
So on she went doing her best pulling, twisting till they both gave up exhausted.
She looked her husband in the eye and said, there’s nothing to be done well are going to have to get help. I’m going to call Mrs grey next door.
Oh no your not! Said Mr brown I’ve not had this problem for 91 years, it’s embarrassing no way, it’s just not right!
Bad luck says Mrs Brown you’re not going in empty handed.
So of she goes and comes back with Mrs Grey in tow.
Mrs Grey stand at the door with a sly grin and says give to me I haven’t met one that I haven’t been able to pop off yet.
Well, she tugged and pulled but nothing on and on she went relentlessly, still nothing.
She looked over to Mrs Brown and said well don’t just stand there grab the end! So the both went to work on it trying everything, they tried every possible angle they could think of but still nothing until the 3 of them fell down in a exhausted heap.
Eventually Mrs Grey caught breath and said I’m going to get Mr Grey!
Mr Brown said No! no! no! I’m putting my foot down! There is no way I have never ever asked that man for anything! Ever!
I would never even borrow a lawnmower never mind this! No way!
Mrs Brown says sorry Mr Brown but this is out of your hands now it’s a matter of pride. And out she stormed returning soon after with Mr Grey who looked at Mr brown and said fond be embarrassed if happens to every man at some point in there life although I must say it’s never happened to me and with that he pounced on Mr Brown and grabbed it giving it as much as the other two had but nothing happened so he called the two wives over and all four of them tried and tried till again they all fell into an exhausted heap.
Mr Brown stood ashamed and dejected looked at the three exhausted twisted bodies laying there on the floor and says, this ends here and we never ever speak of this day again.
He walked off into the distance and onward till he arrived at the doctors clinic, the doctor said Mr Brown I wasn’t expecting you till tomorrow got the job done already?
Mr Brown looked at the doctor and said no I didn’t, I tried I really did, in fact so did my wife and so did my neighbours wife and much too my embarrassment and shame so did my neighbour, and handing the jar back to the doctor said, as hard as we tried we couldn’t get the bloody lid off!
 

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